chrispyness

Why I Love My Boots

2009-02-11T20:26:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure only Jen will appreciate this.

These are my new boots:
I not-so-secretly coveted these boots because a part of me wishes I could wear a riding habit. Sigh, how dashing!!

Old Age

2009-01-18T14:45:00.000-08:00

You know you're getting old when the radio station has a themed weekend playing music from your formative decade. Thanks, 90s weekend on Alice radio.

-
On a completely unrelated note, how would you deal with this situation? I walked into the bathroom at work on Friday, and some woman in a stall asked, "Is that you?"

Well...yes, it is me. I'm pretty sure I am me. But I'm also not the "you" she was talking about.

I figured she didn't want to argue semantics or better phrasing, so I just replied, "No."

Today's Likes & Dislikes

2009-01-09T10:11:00.000-08:00

Likes - fog and wide collars
Dislikes - bad hair days

-
I've discovered that I find fog to be lovely. It softens everything and adds a bit of mystery to everyday trees and streets, even when I'm just driving in to work.

I could probably make some analogy here between fog on the roads and beer goggles in clubs, but I'll let you extrapolate.

My new checkered not-quite-hoodie has an awesome wide collar and snap buttons that march down a bit left of the middle instead of a zipper. Asymmetry is interesting but not always functional, since this means I have a nice regular-sized pocket on the right and a gimpy excuse for a pocket that barely fits my fingers on the left. Oh well, sacrifices made for fashion.

Scruffylooking says bad hair days have a direct correlation with eating nachos past 11 pm. Regretfully, I have to admit that he has a point. But damn, those were good nachos!

Chris thinks I should keep this up - we'll see if it sticks.

Realization

2008-08-01T23:43:00.000-07:00

I do not want to be one of your lessons learned; I want to be your goal.

Lesson learned

2008-07-09T18:37:00.000-07:00

In my sporadic quest to improve myself and my health, I recently purchased liquid egg whites from my second favorite store in the world, Trader Joe's. (I'm sorry, TJ, but until you start selling ridiculously cheap and cute clothing too, you'll always be the Jan to Target's Marcia.)

On my drive home from work today, I imagined throwing together the leftover ingredients from my pizza fritta experiment and making a lovely omelet of 4 cheeses, prosciutto, tomatoes, basil, red pepper flakes, garlic, and onions. How delicious! How fun! And how healthy it will be when I replace the whole cholesterol-laden eggs with liquid egg whites! And when I started preparing all the ingredients in my kitchen, I did it with a carefree, anticipatory smile. :)!!

Except I had to downgrade my aspirations from omelet to scramble when I realized I had a lot of ingredients and a very small skillet. Sure! Still happy!

I unscrewed the carton of liquid eggs (my instincts screaming about how unnatural this was), poured some in, and started scrambling. Ooh, look at the whites coalescing and cooking! Scramble, scramble...look at them becoming pink from the tomato juices! Look at them...curdling?

Result:

A delicious Italian-flavored mess that looks reminiscent of vomit.

Maybe I need to practice cooking more with egg whites. Perhaps. Possibly. I just ate it with my eyes closed.

And now we know, children: whites are not always better. I need the yellows too. Who knew this post would become so profound and racist?

2008-04-16T00:21:00.001-07:00

Sad. The end.

Hello, 2007.

2006-12-26T12:31:00.000-08:00

2007. That's a decent number. Let's make it a great year :)

Lessons I learned from the holidays, in brief
Housewarming: I am a loser. I blame Jeff, the Supreme Drinking Instigator. All hail. For everyone who came to my party, only to see me passed out, I apologize and seriously owe you conscious facetime. But come on, you had fun - how can you not have fun when there was an inflatable doll around and you could take photos with my prone body? Wow, that sounded bad.

Christmas Eve dinner: Electronic meat thermometers make me geeky-happy. I made my prime rib perfectly medium-rare. However, I forgot that most of my relatives are Very Chinese and won't eat any meat that's not brown and brick-like. "The prime rib isn't cooked yet! Look at all that blood!" No, look at all that DELICIOUSNESS! Sigh.

Gifts: Who will buy you USB-heated gloves for Christmas? Christina will! I also have a digital camera now (finally!), thanks to Amanda. Does this mean more photos on this blog? Possibly! And once I get a memory card, I will strive to transform myself into That Annoying Friend Who's Always Snapping Photos. This may be difficult, as I will have to overcome years and years of being That Annoying Friend Who's Always Stealing Photos.

New Year's Eve: If you're going to an overcrowded Asian NYE party, make sure you're dressed slightly slutty to fit in. Don't worry, I fit in so well, at least four other girls were wearing the exact same dress. But my shoes were cuter! Also, Christina, a mall, and one hour's time can be very dangerous. Sigh, damn you again, BCBG.

Why Amanda is not on Madison Avenue: In regards to the World's Softest Socks, Amanda exclaimed, "It feels like you're walking on jelly!" Um...I think the slogan is, "Like walking on clouds."

-
I added a little mp3 player to my sidebar. Don't worry, it doesn't start automatically and force you to listen to songs when you open a webpage with incredibly blinding backgrounds that combine to slow your browser and computer and make you hate life. Yes, I'm talking to you, MySpace. And no, I'm not on MySpace, so don't call me a hypocrite. Yay for Facebook! Whoops, tangent.

Anyway, Jen put up a myflashfetish player on her blog, which I found very similar to the playlist in my head, so I had to go steal it. Love you, Jen! Her playlist also reminded me of "Kill" by Jimmy Eat World - and since it's me, you know the lyrics go up right...about...now.

* * *
"Kill" -Jimmy Eat World

Well, you're just across the street
Looks a mile to my feet
I want to go to you
Funny how I'm nervous still
I've always been the easy kill
I guess I always will

Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance
Or only one way that it was always meant to be?
You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

I can picture your face well
From the bar in my hotel
I wish I'd go to you
I pick up, put down the phone
Like your favorite Heatmiser song goes
It's just like being alone

Oh god, please don't tell me this has been in vain
I need answers for what all the waiting I've done means
You kill me, you've got some nerve, but can't face your mistakes
I know what I should do, but I just can't turn away

So go on, love
Leave while there's still hope for escape
Got to take what you can these days
There's so much ahead
And so much regret
I know what you want to say
I know it, but can't help feeling differently
I loved you, and I should have said it
But tell me, just what has it ever meant?

I can't help it, baby, this is who I am
I'm sorry, but I can't just go turn off how I feel
You kill me, you build me up, but just to watch me break
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

Relocating

2006-12-16T12:25:00.000-08:00

I am now a resident of San Francisco. Woohoo! Okay, so my postal address, driver's license, and assorted other identification don't reflect that yet, but whatever. I'll get there.

Yes, our move-in date was yesterday, Friday. Which meant, of course, that I packed most of Thursday night. My entire car was packed - and at least a full 3/4 of it was filled with clothes and shoes. How can I have so much clothing when I never have anything to wear?? The eternal female mystery.

I am also purchasing a whole new bedroom set since I didn't want to take all my furniture from home. Of course, all this shopping will be done today, which meant I slept on an air mattress last night. I just bought it from Target, and it came with its own air pump. Since I read directions and am full of foresight, I charged it for the recommended 12 hours on Wednesday night, then packed it with my other electronic chargers in a little box.

But since I am also...me, I, of course, forgot to bring this little box with me to my new apartment. Which meant I slept on a deflated air mattress last night. S-M-R-T! Poor Roe was going to borrow the air pump for her air mattress too. But hey, they say an apartment doesn't really belong to you until you sleep on its floor. Okay, I have no idea whom "they" are, but I'm trying to be creative here.

In any case, I will be living with two friends from work, Roe and Alyssa. We are VERY excited. Newly renovated flat with 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, hardwood floor, fireplace, bay window, skylights, gas stove...yay :) As long as we don't think too much about the condom wrapper in the apartment stairwell, we'll be happy!

Uh...just waiting on the furniture. Awesome!

* * *
"Say It Right" -Nelly Furtado

In the day
In the night
Say it all
Say it right
You either got it
Or you don't
You either stand or you fall
When your will is broken
When it slips from your hand
When there's no time for joking
There's a hole in the plan

Oh, you don't mean nothing at all to me
No, you don't mean nothing at all to me
Do you got what it takes to set me free?
Oh, you could mean everything to me

I can't say that I'm not lost and at fault
I can't say that I don't love the light and the dark
I can't say that I don't know that I am alive
And all of what I feel I could show
You tonight, you tonight

From my hands, I could give you
Something that I made
From my mouth, I could sing you another brick that I laid
From my body, I could show you a place god knows
You should know the space is holy
Do you really want to go?

The Attractiveness Scale on Two Axes

2006-11-12T22:47:00.000-08:00

[Thanks to Lemonpie for the chart!]

Looks fairly accurate to me. Haha. Ah, damn that "null set" that doesn't exist - or consists of the unreachable gay men.

Seriously, most insanely beautiful men seem to be homosexual. This must be Nature's way of saying that such unearthly physical perfection must be too beautiful to exist - or at least procreate.

What the hell, let's put up another Voxtrot song.

* * *
"Missing Pieces" -Voxtrot

I would go to pieces if you said that this was just an act
to come and take the sleep out of my night
And I would go to pieces if you said that this was just an act
to come and take the shine out of my life

Oh and I go through it all
Oh it's a thing like habit, I know

I would feel much better if I thought there was any other reason
to keep away the beauty from the dirt
And I would do much better if I thought I filled any other need
And I miss you, oh
And I miss you, oh

And I would be complete if you could put me down in facts and figures
the hardest things are always black and white
And I would be complete if you could touch me once, but it never figures
the easy things are never really right

Oh and I go day by day, oh it's a thing to live for, I know
And I would feel much better if I thought there was any other reason
to keep away the beauty from the dirt
And I would do much better if I thought I filled any other need
And I miss you, oh
And I miss you, oh

Why don't you take a walk outside and see the mess I made
and see the mess I made
And I will be waiting with a knife just like an angry child
just like an angry child
And why don't you go spread the word just like some disease
just like some disease
I know your mother told you that you are God
But you are just a Boy

I would be much better if I thought there was any other reason
to keep away the beauty from the dirt
I would do much better if I thought there was any other need
And I miss you, oh
And I miss you...and I miss you

Olfactory Hallucinations

2006-11-02T16:27:00.000-08:00

What do you think it means when I start hallucinating the smell of curry when I'm back in the lab? There are no smells back there except autoclaved mouse food and disinfectant!

By the way, pre-Halloween weekend was quite fun. Actual Halloween consisted of work and going to the gym (for once!). Meh. So thanks to Kevin for throwing the Friday party, complete with fake spiders, skulls, and poop scattered about. Jen and I slept together again. She likes to hog the couch. And thanks to Jo for getting incredibly trashed on her birthday. Mostly, those thanks are for the laughs she provided. :D Hey, I have to revel when it's not me for once! Will put up select [stolen] photos later.

I really only wanted to post about my curry-bewilderment. Whyyy?

Oh, and go listen to Voxtrot, everyone - and/or go see them this Saturday at GAMH. Fun!

* * *
"Long Haul" -Voxtrot

Somebody told me if you live this way
then it's a long, long haul
I wanna catch a love and make it stay
oh it's a long, long haul
When you know darkness, you can love a day
oh it's a long, long haul
I've never seen it, I just talk this way
oh it's a long, long haul

And you lie to us both
We are words, nothing holds

I wanna catch a love and make it stay
oh it's a long, long haul
I'll enjoy a little joy out of this place before I get too old
I'll flee these troubled horses from this place within my troubled soul
There is nothing
so far

If we are salt and earth and sun and stone
then it's a long, long fall
to fixing trouble in a broken home
and if you won't, you won't call
When you can walk beside me past my past
oh it's a long long haul
I wanna catch a love and make it last
oh it's a long, long haul

And you lie to us both
We are words, nothing holds
I wanna catch a love and make it stay
oh it's a long, long haul
I'll enjoy a little joy out of this place before I get too old
I'll flee these troubled horses from this place within my troubled soul
There ain't nothing
so far

I wanna catch a love and make it stay...

Happy Birthday, Part XX!

2006-10-12T23:13:00.000-07:00

In case you didn't get that, I'm revisiting happy birthday blogs, but now for two females :) Actually, these are two of my favorite females ever!

Last Friday, Eric threw a birthday dinner for Bea at Korean Palace, so of course I was there to pig out...oh, and wish Bea a happy birthday :) Then we capped off the night with some exhilarating rounds of Apples to Apples and Taboo. Let me just say that certain guys seem to have an aversion to describing the word "flaccid." Interesting.

So Happy Birthday to Bea! Bea holds a special place in my heart - obviously because she was the best roommate ever. And of course, my one and only Nudie Roomie. I understand that as our junior year of living together was drawing to a close, you had to find some way to fill the impending gaping emptiness in your soul - I suppose I approve of Eric as a nominal replacement. :) I joke - you two kids make up my favorite couple in the world! And Bea, you are simply so caring, hilarious, understanding...and sexy! As if I liked you only for your personality. Psh. Thank you for sharing my "crazy" years, for cuddling with me during The Simpsons, for giving me the best stories to tell other people (Tongue Boy! Hahahaha!), and for always being there for me - even if you never pick up the phone the first time I call. Thanks again for being there that night last month. I really did appreciate it in my own soggy way :) You are amazing. And to commemorate:

Here Bea's lookin' hot and me looking pasty. Oh well.

And um...Bea really, really loves me. Or at least she loves licking my face. Same thing.

But in the end, we're just big wannabe fobs.

What the hell, here's an encore posting. Don't worry, I licked her back ;)

And of course, my other favorite Korean girl recently celebrated her birthday too - although that happened without me! Gasp! I was so looking forward to sharing another bottle of wine and loudly gossiping about inappropriate things in front of small children with you again. Sigh. Alas, it was not meant to be. But I guess I love you anyway.

Although our lives have taken us far, far away from each other (okay, mostly your life has taken you away from...where I always am), I will always be able, willing, and possibly too excited to have horribly geeky conversations with you, do online crossword puzzles, listen to any and all drama, make fun of other people's stupidity, drink milk tea, and/or sit and do absolutely nothing productive. Ah, if only we had tape-recorded all our talks--wait, on second thought, that might not be a very good idea. Possible blackmail and all. But I do miss their witty, wacky, wonderful-ness. Even though you're in the Land of Superficiality, I know I can always talk to you about so much more. Thank you for caring and making me laugh and being so Michelle. We'd better see each other soon, or I'm keeping the presents for myself. Trust me, this is no idle threat. Love you, miss you, kiss kiss! And for some fond reminiscing...

Hahaha. WOW. Freshman year. My, how we've changed.

We [sorta] discovered our inner strength...

Dabbled in some formalwear ghettoness...

But deep down, I think you want to kill me. Don't try to hide it! I can see it in your eyes!

I'll love you unrequitedly anyway. Pathetic, I know.

So once again, Bea and Michelle, Stanford would have been uber crap without you. Thank you for saving my college years from being excrement. A zillion smooches :)

The worst part of this time of year...

2006-10-05T21:55:00.000-07:00

is the increased necessary-sock-wearing time. After the foot freedom of summer, it's so difficult to go back.

So how's life? Different. Full. Emptier. Who knows?

A few weeks ago, I spent a day in the oddly intense sun at Alice's Now & Zen Fest with Jen, Mike, Jo, and Carsten. Music, dim sum, beer, free Cuervo shirts, good times.
Here I am having a good time. Haha. It was really hot that day, okay?

And with our help, Cuervo Nation got a whole lot geekier.

No, wait, playing pancake when you're in your mid-20s is probably worse. Why does "mid-20s" sound so horrible?

Fierce. Although in an entirely different way from the "fierce" in America's Next Top Model.

Seeexy. Don't kill me, Jen! I didn't take the picture. :)

Ah, it's so good to have you around, Beer Buddy Jen. BBJ. Nice ring to that.

Although Mike wins for having three hands. Okay, so maaaybe one of those hands is mine. Also, I have shamelessly stolen all the above photos from this drunkard. Thanks!

Then I was gone for several days on a research department conference down near Monterey. Many seminars and poster sessions, a strolling dinner through the Monterey Aquarium at night, fun with the fellow RTs, dancing with my managers and the VP of Research, and...a lot of beer, wine, and tequila. It was like Convention all over again...except older. And way geekier. Hahaha. By the way, I am the Best Wingwoman Ever.

And after those three straight nights of drinking, I had a two-night breather before VEGAS with Deb, David, Cher, Mike, Jo, Carsten, Jen, and Steven. Two nights in Vegas right after work were a little too hectic though. Felt like I was rushing everywhere. But Mamma Mia! was beyond cute! Dinner with Jen is always fun - as is shrimp cocktail on the house ;) Then again, being given too many free drinks may not be the best thing. Double shots are DEFINITELY not the best thing. Thank goodness my friends could laugh at my drunkass and not be too annoyed. Haha. And after a half hour of frantic searching/bewilderment through the maze that is the Forum Shops at Caesar's, Jen and I waved goodbye to our money and hello to our Blogged-About Dresses. Alas, no St. Charles dress, but cheers to my new Gypsophila dress. Now I just need an excuse to wear it. :) Perhaps Vegas photos will be forthcoming. Perhaps.

I guess it's only fitting that to atone for drinking 5 nights out of 7, I will have to go to work both this Saturday and Sunday. At least I'll see all my favorite Koreans this weekend: Bea, Eric, Michelle, and Judy - can't get much better than that!

-
Driving in the dark is lonelier than I remember.

Thank you, super buddies :) I don't know what I would do without you.

* * *
"Volcano" -Damien Rice

don't hold yourself like that you'll hurt your knees
i kissed your mouth & back that's all i need
don't build your world around volcanoes melt you down
what i am to you is not real
what i am to you you do not need
what i am to you is not what you mean to me
you give me miles and miles of mountains
and i’ll ask for the sea

don't throw yourself like that in front of me
i kissed your mouth your back is that all you need?
don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down
what i am to you is not real
what i am to you you do not need
what i am to you is not what you mean to me
you give me miles and miles of mountains
and i’ll ask for the sea

what i give to you is just what i’m going through
this is nothing new no no just another phase of finding
what i really need is what makes me bleed
and like a new disease she’s still too young to treat
volcanoes melt me down
she’s still too young
i kissed your mouth
you do not need me

2006-09-17T02:41:00.000-07:00

I'm so sorry. I just am.

Happy Birthdays...

2006-09-15T01:10:00.000-07:00

to Brandon and Alex!

Brandon: almost stereotypical in adolescent little brotherness. Loves his own flatulence, making random noises, and being sullenly uncommunicative. In any case, he is now freshly 15 years of age. I suppose I have to feel some attachment to him since I used to change his diapers. Aaaanyway, happy birthday, you big bugger. Grow a few more inches (5'10" is my minimum goal for you), read some more books, and stay away from drugs and girls. :) Besides lower level seats for the Warriors vs. Houston game in a few months, I may teach you how to drive as a birthday present - frightening!

Alex: We've known each other for about eight years now - it almost seems like forever. Even through our random odd phases, I've always known you would be there for me, and I hope you know that I've always been there for you. Even when you call at 1:00 am the morning of your birthday fishing for birthday greetings and receive only grumpiness and sarcasm. Sorry, but not my fault! I wasn't completely awake! Anyhow, you know I wish you the best possible year ahead - I hope you remember the good times of your birthday tonight, like way too many watered-down drinks at D&Bs, shuffleboard, and getting your ass kicked at basketball :) Thanks for being the most wonderful Indie Music "Faerie" possible, an awesome fellow concert-goer, resident overthinker, and one of the best friends for which anyone could ever wish (I phrased that extremely awkwardly but correctly just for you). We'll always have junior prom! ;)

Matching green shirts, wristbands, and tequila shots!
The next step...
Result: Trying to keep Alex's eyes open...
And I am very happy to have Amanda back at home. The Ha sisters are reunited! Watch out :)

* * *
"Thank You" -Dido

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
and I can't see at all
And even if I couldm it'd all be grey
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad
it's not so bad...

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay
my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad
it's not so bad and

I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh, just to be with you
is having the best day of my life

Push the door, I'm home at last
and I'm soaking through and through
Then you hand me a towel
and all I see is you
And even if my house falls down,
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me and

I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh, just to be with you
is having the best day of my life...

Hell Yeah!!!

2006-09-11T01:27:00.000-07:00

Everyone who wasn't at Slim's on Saturday night missed out on the best concert EVER! Oh, Butch Walker, how you entertain, amaze, and titillate me! Hell yeah!!

So for you uninitiated, Butch Walker was the lead singer of a band in the 1990s called "The Marvelous 3" - you may remember a one-hit wonder song called "Freak of the Week"...or maybe not. In any case, after they broke up, Butch went solo with the albums "Left of Self-Centered," "Letters," "The Rise and Fall of...Butch Walker & the Let's Go Out Tonites," along with a collection of covers called...*drumroll*..."Cover Me Badd" (incredible live Queen medley on there). Haha! THEN he went on to be named Rolling Stone's producer of the year in 2005, producing and writing for Hot Hot Heat, Avril Lavigne, SR-71, The Donnas, Pink, the list goes on. Alex and I discovered him at the very chill Hotel Cafe Tour last year - went to see Imogen Heap, Cary Brothers, Gary Jules, and left with Butch's album.

Bottom line: Butch Walker is awesome. Alex, Jen, and I bought tickets months ago for this concert, and then I happened upon another pair of free tickets through Alice radio and invited Bea, Eric, and Steven to join in on the awesomeness. We started the night out at 21st Amendment (gotta love that name) with watermelon wheat beer, ale, Mexicali pizza, and many burgers:
Unfortunately, you can't really see me or Jen since Bea has an absurdly large head (I kid! I love you, favorite nudie roomie, don't hate me!), so here is Take 2 with just the girls:And then onto Slim's...
See, I love my Bea. Uh...more than she knows. ;)
Yes, I had already purchased my Butch Walker t-shirt before the first opening band even started. By the way, Damone is pretty damn good too - may have heard their single "Out Here All Night" on Live 105. The female lead singer really likes to hock loogies though.

But one of the highlights of the night for the crazy inner fangirl in me was when we were standing there watching the opening bands, and Alex nudged me and whispered (okay, yelled, since we were at a concert), "Hey, who's that?" And it was BUTCH! He graciously took a picture with me after I babbled some nonsense to him about loving his music and wanting to have his children or something:
Don't mind the tool in the background. He was just awestruck by being close to Butch too ;)

So I knew his concert would be amazing, but DAMN, with his own full set as headliner, Butch just blew everything out of the water. Incredible stage presence and charisma, pitch-perfect vocal technique, and just full-on rockin' fun...
Besides playing crowd fan favorites like "Mixtape" and "#1 Summer Jam" and bigger-band songs from his most recent album with The Let's Go Out Tonites, he totally reinterpreted "San Fernando Sex Star" from his first album, making it a lot darker and emotionally complex than the recorded version. For the last song of his set, he played "Best Thing that You Never Had" and rocked out so hard on his acoustic guitar, he broke not one, but TWO strings, retuned the guitar while the song was going on, and finished! Insaaane :)

For the encore, Butch came back out yelling, "Did you think I'd leave you on such an emo-tastic note?! No, we're gonna rock the f*** out!!" After a great cover of "Crazy," Butch jumped down into the crowd right by our group, then had every single person in Slim's sit down and shut up before jumping up and dancing like crazy to "Lights Out" - Hell Yeah! Here's Bea and Butch's head:
And see if you can spot Alex under Butch's armpit:
Sigh. What a great night.

Thanks to Eric for taking all those photos! So there you go, Alex and Jen, you were right. It just took a while for me to get the photos in order to post this thing :) Yay for good friends and Butch Walker!

The Quest for the Perfect Little Black Dress

2006-09-06T00:10:00.000-07:00

...is probably destined for failure. This dress is too long, that dress is too tight, this dress itches, that dress makes me look like a hooker, etc. But hey, they say it's all about the journey - I'll keep searching for that ultimate cute, black, silky grail, trying on dozens and dozens of dresses in a grueling test of endurance and clicking on hundreds of "product detail" links online...someone has to do it. :)

This looks like it might be pretty close though:
And I just enjoy looking at this one:
Sigh...Anthropologie dresses, how I love gazing at thee. I am fairly certain that a trip to Anthro with Jen would be the worst thing to ever happen to my credit card.

P.S. The Illusionist, I liked you, too. It takes a good movie to make a predictable ending so satisfying.

* * *
"The Start of Something" -Voxtrot

This time of night I could call you up
I'd get angry with athletic ease, break common laws in twos and threes
If I die clutching your photograph
Don't call me boring, it's just 'cause I like you
Take me on back...take me back
To the place where I could feel your heart
Is this the end or just the start of
Something really, really beautiful
Wrapped up and disguised as something really, really ugly?

Won't you...
Come by and see me, I'm a love letter away
I'd break your name before I'd say, "I really love you, love you"
No, I don't care if you saw, I watched every inch of film
Flash across your Roman features
And I loved it, loved it; no, I don't care if

You think I'm eager to shut your eyes, well
I'm sorry - everybody knows you can't break me with your gutter prose
Would you believe it, she sent me a letter
The ring, it nearly weighs her down, she's got another boy, oh boy
Steady your ears...read my lips
Poetry is not a luxury, it's how I'll break this home
And when I'm really ill, won't you cradle me?
Man is not a noble animal, but maybe woman is, remember

I heard you...
Inside your room, you said, "You never really live
Until your back's against the wall," oh did you really mean it?
I never break my gaze, if just to see this scar remain reflected in your eyes
I think it's time to go home

Oh, tell me your thoughts, tell me your thoughts on liberty
See, there's a place where I sink to sleeping
She said, "Oh, my vote is as red as my blood
Will you join me for another round? I haven't had the chance to speak yet"

God speed...
I break the law once every week to feel your touch
What's a book to you in bed, do you feel better, older?
This just makes me ill, your name is dripping from my pen
Still you're not around to curse
I'll drop the gun now, I'm still under you

Marianne, let the ghosts sleep tonight
Marianne, let the ghosts sleep, just shut your eyes and burn the past away

Frugality is important.

2006-08-15T14:44:00.000-07:00

Or so said my fortune cookie today. Boo. But I have placed this fortune at eye level in my cubicle as a reminder. I need visual reinforcement: "You shouldn't overspend at the moment. Frugality is important."

Bah. I know, I know. Besides, I already went shopping on Sunday (with Jen, of course). Of course, everyone knows that fortunes from fortune cookies are not retroactive, so you can't make me return my new clothes! Hah! Am wearing my new shadow black cropped jeans from AE today. I also dressed while 1/4 awake at 5:45 am this morning, so they were rather unfortunately paired with a blue lacy tank top under a teal blazer. With gray/green sneakers. I think this is what Di meant by the term "fashion victim." Luckily, I work in research where no one really knows what fashion is anyway.

Went to see Death Cab on Friday - for FREE! Mike is awesome! And Di [happily back from NY for the weekend!] and Jen were there. :D Sitting on the grass at the Greek after wolfing down chili cheese fries, listening to Death Cab - can't get much better than that. Cap off the night with a greasy pig-out at Denny's with the girls, and Chrispy is one happy glutton.

Howard's BBQ was on Saturday - made my spare ribs again. Sort of. Had to have a few other people oversee a rack since two racks of spare ribs are pretty difficult to roast by oneself. As it was, I could barely fit them all in three ovens. Hah. No one told me the ribs sucked and no one died, so I'd say they qualify as another culinary success! Sweet.

In general, the BBQ was full of food, beer, and good times. I was singularly amused when I was sitting outside talking to Chris, San, Jen, Di, Jo, Cher, and noticed a random guy (okay, friend of Howard's from Cal) doing some sort of ghetto-walk out of the corner of my eye, saying, "...cap pulled down, cradling a bottle of Grey Goose...."

"You're talking about Theresa Vu, aren't you?!" They were. Ah, the Classic Theresa image still survives: stylish cap pulled low, cradling Grey Goose. ;)

And goodbye, Howard! I'm sure Tufts will be happy to have you, but we'll be stuck here without someone to randomly plan...very random events. Hope you remembered to bring your slackline and pack shirts without holes in them. :)

One Final Question
Does anyone remember "Save Tonight" by Eagle Eye Cherry? These are the lyrics:

Go on and close the curtains
'Cause all we need is candlelight
You and me and a bottle of wine
Gonna hold you tonight

Well we know I'm going away
And how I wish - I wish it weren't so
So take this wine & drink with me
Let's delay our misery

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow - tomorrow I'll be gone...

There's a log on the fire
And it burns like me for you
Tomorrow comes with one desire
To take me away [oh, it's true]
It ain't easy to say goodbye
Darlin' please, don't start to cry
'Cause girl you know I've got to go
Lord, I wish it wasn't so

Save tonight
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow - tomorrow I'll be gone...

Tomorrow comes to take me away
I wish that I - that I could stay
Girl, you know I've got to go
Lord, I wish it wasn't so...

Now read that over. What kind of situation do you think those lyrics portray?

I was listening to "Save Tonight" in my car once, long ago, with this guy I was seeing. You know, I was doing my thing, bopping along, and he asked, "You like this song?"

"Sure, it's one of my favorites from high school!" I replied cheerily.

Giving me a look of doubt, he said, "But it's a song about a one-night stand and how he's going to leave her in the morning. Whatever works for you...."

"Whaaat? No, it's about his last night with a girl before he has to go on a trip, and how he hates to leave her!" This was gasped quite indignantly on my part.

And that should have been a warning that things wouldn't work out. Hah!

* * *
"Title and Registration" -Death Cab for Cutie

The glove compartment is inaccurately named
And everybody knows it
So I'm proposing a swift, orderly change

'Cause behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm
And all I find are souvenirs from better times
Before the gleam of your taillights fading east
To find yourself a better life

I was searching for some legal document
As the rain beat down on the hood
When I stumbled upon pictures I tried to forget
And that's how this idea was drilled into my head

'Cause it's too important
To stay the way it's been

There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that it's gone, it's like it wasn't there at all
And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night

There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that it's gone, it's like it wasn't there at all
And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night (up all night)
When i'm lying awake at night.

Weekends full of...alcohol

2006-08-09T22:49:00.000-07:00

Been going out a lot lately. Also been drinking um...a fair amount lately. Isn't it sad that the older we become, the more dependent our good times are on alcohol? That was awkwardly phrased, but maybe you get the idea. I could have said, "the older we become, the more dependent we are on alcohol," but that would have smacked a bit too much of alcholism. Okay, it would have smacked completely of alcoholism. Don't worry about me though...just working on my tolerance ;) Unlike a certain someone who had a bowl of cereal and two beers for dinner tonight.

Anyhow, this summer has been wedding-iferous. Of course, Christina Chen and Victor got hitched, my family friend recently married at the Half Moon Bay Ritz Carlton (whoooeee!), and I have another wedding to attend next weekend. Crazy! But I do love attending weddings now that I'm a bit older, appreciate food more, actually know the bride and/or groom, and can consume alcohol. Hurrah! The lack of screeching karaoke at these weddings has also been a plus.

Here's a heartwarming wedding cake story for you: Ugly Cake Story from www.uglydress.com. Don't forget to click on the thumbnail photo after you've read the story ;)

Besides weddings, there have also been many birthdays. Happy Birthday, Jen! Life in Fremont would be so depressing without our Half Price excursions, attempts at going to the gym, GBEs, shared literary aspirations, and mutual gluttony. Oh, and you're the worst shopping partner ever. Or best. Depends on how guilty I'm feeling at the moment. :) Love you, Jen-butt!

-
Let it run its course.

Although this approach feels suspiciously like limbo.

Yes, it's the return of the ambiguous statements. :) It's been quite a hiatus.

Pictures. Am not feeling very creative right now.

2006-08-09T22:40:00.000-07:00

Congratulations, Amanda!
At UCSD in June.

Don't I look so happy at Karl Strauss in SD?

Tsk tsk. Just say no to underaged drinking.

This is a close-up of one of my mom's favorite shirts. And knowing what I know about Amanda's habits...does this make us a drinkydrink family?

The Girlfam together again for Chris's wedding, before the ceremony.

And they're married!

Sexy :)

With Yeung.

JeDiHa looove

Seeing Michelle in LA - yeah, I don't know what we're doing either.

Stanford reunion! The lanyard's a nice touch, Michelle.

Froggyback?

2006-07-24T22:03:00.000-07:00

I find this ridiculously cute. :)

More pictures (probably even of humans!) to come...sometime in the future.

Things that make me happy:

2006-07-24T19:54:00.000-07:00

-Conan O'Brien
-Alton Brown
-Butch Walker's new album
-Al Gore
-"Put Your Records on" -Corinne Bailey Rae
-Half Price Books
-angst in books, happily resolved
-good company
-good food
-Osha Thai 3
-singing aloud [obscenely loudly] in the car
-shopping

Things that DON'T make me happy:
-spending money on shopping
-cheapass green t-shirts that turn ORANGE
-real angst
-global warming
-melting into puddles of organic matter
-not having enough time to read :(

*The above listings are in no particular order. Because otherwise, that would probably be messed up.

* * *
"Put Your Records on" -Corinne Bailey Rae

Three little birds sat on my window
And they told me I don't need to worry
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete

Maybe sometimes, we got it wrong, but it's all right
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams
Just go ahead, let your hair down

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

Blue as the sky, somber and lonely
Sipping tea in the bar by the roadside
(just relax, just relax)
Don't you let those other boys fool you
Gotta love that afro hairdo

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's all right
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change
Don't you think it's strange?

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams
Just go ahead, let your hair down

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

Just more than I could take, pity for pity's sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realize, that you don't even have to try any longer
Do what you want to

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down...

Oh, you're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

Killer Birds and North Carolina

2006-05-16T22:12:00.000-07:00

Getting-to-Work Hazards: I decided to climb up the stairs in front of Building 12 this morning at work because I haven't been to the gym in about a month and am gradually congealing. That's a lovely image, no? Anyway, there was some sort of easel at the foot of the stairs with a large white piece of paper leaning against it. However, the printing on it was bleached to almost a beige, so I figured it probably wasn't a critical notice; who would let an important warning fade until the sign was beige on white?

So I started climbing, and everything was normal (except for my pathetic heavy breathing) until I was about halfway up the stairs. Then I heard a sudden *whoosh* and glimpsed a black bird swoop behind me when I turned my head. Okay. I kept walking up, only to have the bird fly by in front of me this time, close enough for me to feel the wind from its wings. The rest of the climb involved me half ducking and half running as the bird kept trying to attack me until I made it to the top.

While catching my breath at the top of the stairs, I noticed another bleached sign that I could read only by squinting: "During this time of year, this area is a nesting area for birds. Birds may feel threatened and attempt to defend their territory. Please exercise caution when using these stairs." THANKS.

-
In other news, I was in North Carolina this past weekend. It was a land of many trees and much more dispersed development. And lots of pollen *sneeze*

So why was I there? To welcome my new Duke Charter little sis, Cindy!

Isn't she cute? :) And there she is, receiving the Stanford white line jacket. Awww. Yes, yes, I am a bombass big sis. Okay, at least an adequate one. Haha.

And of course, congratulations again to the Duke Charter Class! You girls are incredible, and I expect you'll do amazing things for your community :) Welcome to the sisterhood, lovelies.

Meeting a bunch of other O.G. KDPhi alumnae was great too. I had almost forgotten how fun it is to meet new sisters from all over the nation. Aren't we so mature and attractive? ;)

So yeah, Duke trip was great fun. A bit hectic with too much flying and an hour-and-a-half stopover in Dallas, but fellow Norcal biggies Anita and Diana and I entertained ourselves with...eating. What else? :) Sunday's flight home involved leaving for the airport at 3:00 am Pacific time and getting back at 2:00 pm Pacific time. I think my sleeping schedule is UBER out of whack now.

Unfortunately, all that traveling tired me out and I was not able to cook for my mom for Mother's Day as originally planned. We went out for some Thai instead. Once again, I was awe-struck by the amount of food that disappears down my little brother's throat.

-
Am currently reading Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson since Bea and Eric graciously gave it to me as a birthday present. ("You're so geeky, we figured you'd enjoy this.") Pizza deliverators, samurai swords, hacking, the Mafia, the Metaverse, mutant harpoon-throwers, Sumerian myths, and traffic-surfers. It's different. Haha. Very entertaining so far, but I think I will have to reread after the first run-through and some additional research; I may be geeky, but I definitely don't know much about hacking or computer programming. Anyone else read it before? Maybe you can learn me something :) [Yes, I KNOW that is improper grammar. I was going to leave it alone for effect, but then I realized that some people may think I made that mistake on purpose and try to correct me. DON'T. =]

A healthy competitive instinct...

2006-05-05T15:21:00.000-07:00

is anything but when it comes to eBay. "Damn, I've just been outbid! Take THIS!" Repeat a few times until you're the current highest bidder.

Then you console yourself with the cap you placed upon yourself for each different item. Except you suddenly realize you've just bid in SEVEN separate auctions. Possible Words of Doom: "Oh, I'm sure someone will outbid me before the auction ends."

How did I hold out for so long against the temptations of eBay until today?

I have a feeling I'll either lose all seven auctions I bid on, or somehow win all of them. Keep my money or gain a closet suddenly inflated with BCBG clothing? I am torn! Now it's left in the hands of the bidding community. As long as I don't click "Enter Higher Maximum Bid" again. It must be some weird index finger tic. Yeah.

And this is on top of my recent discovery of smartbargains.com. Just kill my checkbook now.

The evils of online shopping should not be underestimated.

* * *
"Almost Forgot Myself" -Doves

So close
You're wasted again
I know, somehow...
I lost myself...again

Making me high again
I almost forgot myself again
It hits me so hard
It kills me again
Today

So close
Yet you're wasted again
I know, somehow...
We'll find ourselves...
I don't know, I don't know

Then we'll be high again
I almost forgot myself there
It hits you so hard
And kills again

I almost forgot myself again
I almost forgot myself there
It's hitting me hard
It moves me again
Again...

After the rains come...the allergies

2006-05-02T22:08:00.000-07:00

Yaaaay, allergies. Nose has been constantly running today. My misery is closely mimicked by the photo below:

Yeah, I've got watery, bulgy eyes, have turned slightly green, and I've lost several digits and gained a tail and stuff. Whatever. I feel pretty nastyass. As I inevitably do every year. :) And I was just getting over my phlegm-y cough too!

-
In tastier news, I tried Sonoma Chicken Coop in downtown Man Jose this weekend with Bea and Eric since the boy-thing was up :) The Chicken Coop's motto is "Inexpensive Excellence" and I think it mostly lived up to that. Stylish unpretentious place, tasty rotisserie chicken, dessert menu looks delish. Haven't sampled the sweets yet since Yeung and I baked a strawberry-topped cheesecake for my favorite nudie roomie. Definitely trying desserts and a steak or two the next time I'm down there though ;)

And now for the first of (perhaps) a series of:

BART Chronicles
Smelly Man
Whenever I take BART in the mornings, I habitually fall asleep, slouched in my patented public-transportation-napping position. The other morning, as I was getting ready to doze off, a disheveled man sat down next to me. Strange people sitting next to me are fairly normal, but this man was PUNGENT. In an interesting way. First, I could detect the scent of cigarrette smoke, which I find quite unpleasant to begin with. But overlaid with this odor, there was the smell of Chinese pain-relieving aromatic oil. Some of you know what I'm talking about - that clear oil that completely clears your sinuses, pores, and whichever other orifices are nearby. It's the only smell strong enough to cover up the thousand-cow-scent on the drive down I-5 going to LA.

So anyway, Smelly Man smelled like cigarettes and the nostril-flaring oil. Did I still fall asleep? Um...yes.

Trophy Working Woman
I was waiting in the Genentech shuttle line outside the BART station when I noticed this woman rushing toward the station, struggling with a very unwieldy object. Turned out it was a gigantic trophy of some kind. I suppose she could have been a teacher or judge of a contest who had to lug the monstrosity to school or something, but I amused myself with the possibility that she was just really, really proud of winning such a large trophy herself and couldn't bear to part with it. I should start carrying around my elementary school spelling trophy. It has a bee with glasses on top. Spelling Bee. Get it? HAHAHAHA. Yeah, I'm lame. But I wasn't the one who designed the thing!

Do Strippers Take the 8:00 am BART Train?
While in the same shuttle line, I also noted a small woman in a very long, black belted wool coat. She had on white sneakers and was rushing toward the station, so I couldn't help but notice that her coat had a long slit in the front and a long slit up the back, and that she was wearing black hose. So I looked up...and up...and up...until I barely glimpsed the shortest black miniskirt ever. Where was she going at 8:00 am dressed like that? It didn't seem like the most ah...business-like outfit, but I somehow suspect strip joints don't open around 8:00 am either. Or maybe they do, but it can't be a very lucrative shift. Ideas?

The enemy's gate IS DOWN

2006-04-22T02:00:00.000-07:00

So uncool, it's cool

Or at least that's what I like to tell myself. How awesome is that?! It's in a junior babydoll tee size! I know Chris Chen wants one too ;)

-
Bocadillos is muy fantastico - mmm. Spanish tapas and wine make me happy. Those and a freshly fried donut at midnight, too. Edible joy!

I think I should start carrying around a camera just so I can take pictures of my food.

* * *
"Soul Meets Body" -Death Cab for Cutie

I want to live where soul meets body
and let the sun wrap its arms around me
and bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
and feel, feel what it's like to be new

'Cause in my head there’s a Greyhound station
where I send my thoughts to far-off destinations
so they may have a chance of finding a place
where they’re far more suited than here

I cannot guess what we'll discover
we turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels
but I know our filthy hands can wash one another’s
and not one speck will remain

I do believe it’s true
that there are roads left in both of our shoes
and if the silence takes you
then I hope it takes me too
so brown eyes I hold you near
'cause you’re the only song I want to hear
a melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

Where soul meets body...

Okay, I just can't help myself.

2006-04-13T11:45:00.000-07:00

The following news story is just so intriguing, so multi-layered...

Feds Pounce on Student Dressed as a Ninja

ATHENS, Ga. - Running through the University of Georgia campus as a ninja can elicit a prompt response from authorities [1], a UGA sophomore learned.

Federal Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearm agents, on campus for a community training project, detained Jeremiah Ransom of Macon Tuesday as a "suspicious individual" when they spotted a masked figure darting near the Georgia Center [2].

Ransom told The Red & Black student newspaper that he had left a Wesley Foundation pirate vs. ninja event [3] when he was snared by agents with guns drawn.

"It was surreal," Ransom said. "I was jogging from Wesley to Snelling (cafeteria) when I heard someone yell 'freeze.'" At first, he thought a friend was playing a joke.

University Police Chief Jimmy Williamson said Ransom was released as soon as he was found to have violated no laws.

Vanessa McLemore, the ATF special agent in charge, said agents thought something was amiss when they "noticed someone wearing a bandanna across the face and acting in a somewhat suspicious manner, peeping around the corner" then breaking into a run.

Williamson said Ransom was wearing black sweat pants and an athletic T-shirt with one red bandanna covering the bottom half of his face and another covering the top of his head.

This raises SO MANY questions:

[1] Why would a federal officer believe a serious criminal would dress like a ninja?

[2] Why is a supposedly half-educated college student ACTING LIKE A NINJA?

[3] Ohhhhh, it was a PIRATE VS NINJA EVENT. Um...what exactly happens at a pirate vs ninja event?

[4] Why wasn't Stanford cool enough to have a pirate vs. ninja event?

Some questions may never be answered. Except for #2.

This has been a glimpse into the deep thoughts that occupy my mind all day, every day.

What makes sick-as-a-dog-Chrispy happy

2006-04-13T11:09:00.000-07:00

Been sick the past few days. I was a little worried at first because I was feeling like major doggypoop - muscle aches, slight fever, headache, weakness, etc. - without any normal cold symptoms. But I've started phlegm-ing recently, which I'm taking as a good sign. Yay for TMI!

One thing that makes me insanely happy is reading about restaurants with delicious food :D Sadly, I'm not exaggerating even a little bit; I just stumbled upon The Epicurious Essential Restaurant Guide for San Francisco and sat in my cubicle beaming at my computer with the biggest idiotic smile on my face. I've only been to 2 of those restaurants (Zuni and Slanted Door), so I've got a lot of eating to do! Am currently taking applications for eating buddies ;)

-
And Boy Sets Self on Fire in Alleged Gas Theft

GILLETTE, Wyo. - A teenage boy accidentally set himself on fire early Wednesday morning after allegedly trying to siphon gas from a firefighter's car.

Police first learned of the injury after a 17-year-old boy and a 16-year-old boy claimed that someone had thrown gasoline on the 17-year-old at the Common Cents service station and lit him on fire, said Lt. Rod Hauge.

The boy was taken to the hospital with second- and third-degree burns on his legs. Police were called to the hospital to investigate the incident and later learned that the 17-year-old spilled gas on his pants while siphoning gas. He then used a lighter to try to determine how wet his pants were and set himself of fire, Hague said.

Both boys have been ticketed with larceny, Hauge said.

Oh. Em. Gee. How can a kid THAT stupid have stayed alive for 17 years? "I wonder how wet my pants are since I just spilled stolen, HIGHLY FLAMMABLE GASOLINE on them? Let me check with THE EXPOSED FLAME OF MY LIGHTER."

-
And now...back to work.

Orson Scott Card Geek

2006-04-05T20:51:00.000-07:00

Yes, that is what I am. I've read Ender's Game and all its Speaker sequels (Speaker for the Dead, Xenocide, Children of the Mind) and Shadow sequels (Shadow of the Hegemon, Shadow Puppets, Shadow of the Giant) AND the short story prequel First Meetings. Then there was the Alvin series, Enchantment, Treason, The Worthing Saga, Wyrms, etc.

So it should come as no surprise that my latest "BART Book" (specific books I'll read on BART when not slouched as low as possible in my seat to sleep) was Card's Shadow of the Giant [part of the alternate/parallel Ender's Shadow sequels]. I thought it would be safe to read on the BART since there aren't any shirtless men with flowing locks tearing at some unbelievably bounteous woman's bodice on the cover, but no, I was wrong. Well, Shadow of the Giant doesn't show Fabio on the cover, but the novel made me start crying TWICE in public. Fortunately, there are usually enough freaks on BART to make me fairly inconspicuous, even with the sobs. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit; I think I pulled off the something-in-my-contact act pretty decently. (Shush. Just let me believe that.)

Anyway, someone read the Shadow series and tell me if there were any tears for you too. Then maybe I can feel less of a dork. It was just so emotional though! Bean! Petra! Sob!

But I have to admit that I sort of like books that make me cry. And Shadow of the Giant was such a good conclusion to the Shadow series. *satisfied sigh* Now I'll have to reread the Speaker of the Dead sequels again. Just maybe not in public. :)

* * *
"You Owe Me an IOU" -Hot Hot Heat

He was in the habit of taking things for granted
Granted, there wasn't much for him to take
And the only thing constant was the constant reminder he'd never change

Tight-fisted with his compliments, it didn't seem to bother him that talk is even cheaper told in bulk
And the only thing constant was the constant reminder
He'd never change

And so she yelled at him:

You owe me an IOU - owe me an IOU
You owe me an IOU
Don't think that I'll forget
You owe me an IOU - owe me an IOU
You owe me an IOU
Don't think that I'll forget
I know what I should get this time

She was in the habit of reapplying makeup
Makeup eaten up by crocodile tears
And the only thing constant was the constant reminder she'd never change

Overtly individual - covertly traditional
She couldn't seem to make up her mind
And the only thing constant was the constant reminder she'd never change

And so he yelled at her:

And so she yelled at him:

You owe me an IOU - owe me an IOU
You owe me an IOU
Don't think that I'll forget
You owe me an IOU - owe me an IOU
You owe me an IOU
Don't think that I'll forget
I know what I should get this time

Oh...Is it real? I don't know
But I'll act as if it is
What's our deal? I don't know
But I'll act as if it is what I think that it is
If it is, then this might just work

They were in the habit of taking things for granted
Granted, they never quite knew what they had
And the only thing constant was the constant reminder they'd never change

And so they yelled out loud:

You owe me an IOU - owe me an IOU
You owe me an IOU
Don't think that I'll forget
You owe me an IOU - owe me an IOU
You owe me an IOU
Don't think that I'll forget
I know what I should get
Yeah I know what I should get this time

Hellooooo out there!

2006-03-27T23:49:00.000-08:00

*crickets*

Yeah, it's been a while. Everyone who used to read my blog probably died. Oh well.

I randomly had an urge to write in this thing. Let's see, it's been just about forever since I've last written, so here's a brief, brief, BRIEF synopsis of the past six months of my life:

- I am now working at Genentech in South San Francisco. I have very snazzy business cards, but I'm really a very entry-level researcher. That just shows how awesome Genentech is: even the lowest of the low can get free business cards! By the way, business cards are great for entering those free lunch drawings at random restaurants. And for making it seem like I'm highly qualified to tutor your children.

- As stated slightly above, I am highly qualified to tutor your children!

- My Monday-Thursday schedule involves either waking up at an ungodly hour to catch the 6:36 am BART or waking up at a slightly less ungodly time to carpool to work at 7:00 am. Then I work and work and work and pretend I know biology and then get off work to commute home for another hour to 1.5 hours and get home around 7:00 pm. Then I tutor at 7:30 pm for an hour or two. Then I might go to the gym, but most likely, I'll go home and sit on my ass for another hour or two and then go to sleep. Then I show that I have horrible writing skills by starting 4/5 of the sentences in this bulletpoint with "Then I."

- Amanda came home for winter break and brought home her gray hyper-cat, Ashland. I wanted to name him "Deen Mao" (or Deen for short), which is Cantonese for "Crazy Cat," but Amanda didn't take to that suggestion very well.

- I went to the Hotel Cafe concert at The Great American Music Hall with Alex and started liking Aqualung and Cary Brothers more. Also, I developed an unhealthy obsession with Butch Walker. He's super awesomeness cubed.

- Just saw Guster again at a concert at the Fillmore on Sunday: uber band awesomeness times infinity! I am such a geek.

- Became a Browncoat. If you don't know what that is, please don't try to find out. It will increase my geekiness in your mind to unbelievable levels.

- Okay, forget it. A good Browncoat cannot leave without saying, "Please go watch Serenity or 'Firefly' if you haven't!"

- Read Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" trilogy. Soooo epic and thought-provoking and absorbing! Many thanks to Jen for recommending and lending her precious books to me (I kept them in Ziploc bags!). And thanks to Di for recommending it to her! I went out and bought my own boxed set afterward =X

- I had a wonderfully fun-filled birthday at Dragon Bar with fellow March birthdayers Debra, Diana, and Alisa. Thanks to everyone who came out and forced alcohol on me! And thanks to Bea for watching out and taking away my last drink ;) And thanks to Alex for drinking it, I GUESS. And nothing caps off a birthday party more perfectly than the Meatlover's Skillet at Denny's. Mmmm.

So maybe this didn't end up very brief, but if you consider that I was supposed to summarize six months, it wasn't too poor of a job, right?

Don't worry, there are a few pictures that I stole from others to follow. You illiterates.

* * *
"Keep It Together" -Guster

when we all
finally washed ashore
it was clear there was no one else around
we declared a national holiday
a chance to build it from the ground

so far away from everyone
and everything starts today

let's keep it together
can we keep it together?
we're singing a new song now
and everything starts today

can we rise?
can we get along all right?
can we miss the storm that sucked the whole world in?
and the boats went out at night
and the choppers in the sky
they searched but they could find no trace of us

so far away from everyone
and everything starts today

let's keep it together
can we keep it together?
we're singing a new song now
and everything starts today

the thunderstruck the clouds appear
our fearless crew was not prepared
and pretty soon the boats came for us
half a million strong
we gathered arms and fired shells
we built a wall around ourselves
pretty soon the spirit was a lot like what it used to be
back home

so far away from everyone
and everything starts today

let's keep it together
can we keep it together?
we're singing a new song now
and everything starts today.

Photos Galore

2006-03-27T23:28:00.000-08:00

We love Chris Chen! Random night at D&B's. Chris is getting maaaarried!

With Jen at the Download Festival. Yes, I am wearing my high school Smoke Signal sweatshirt. Shut up.

Halloween at a VisionshockSF party - with my KDPhi girls and Janice! I'm a cowgirl, okay? Tina is some sort of sexy Minnie Mouse. Monique, Martina, and Janice are just hot. And LiMin wants to do your taxes sexily? She's some sort of sexy office worker. Or student. I think. Some sort of occupation that involves wearing glasses and very little clothing.

Same Halloween party with my girls, Di and Jen. We are cowgirls. This would probably have been more evident if Diana had not mistakenly remembered having a cowboy hat at home when it was in fact an orange sombrero. This was most likely already well into the night, as our attempt at posing failed miserably.

It's the end of December and Cherry's birthday, and she'll scream at you if she wants to. ;)

The girls with our sexy sleepmasks on our foreheads. Deb, Cher, and I spent a lot of time putting puffy paint on those things! Sorry they look so hideous.

Yeung, Ann-Chi, and Kuan are impossibly red. Hahaha.

Guess where I am. [Disclaimer: I was starting to get sick so my immune system was not at its best!]

The girls at Dragon Bar our birthdays! Probably one of the only non-completely-embarrassing photos of the night.

I so do not remember taking this picture with Howard, Jeff, and John. You can probably discern this from my posture.

There were many more photos from that night, but I look even more cracked out in them. Since I'm all vain like that, you won't see them here. Hah! Good night :)

Vienna Teng at Mission Coffee

2005-09-24T23:14:00.000-07:00

Jen and I just saw Vienna Teng perform tonight at Mission Coffee House right here in lovely Fremont. It was a Katrina relief charity concert, so I felt good about paying a bit more than the "recommended donation" to the Red Cross. And Amanda's jealous since she missed this concert. Haha! Finally got around to purchasing Vienna's second album, Warm Strangers, so that was productive, too! Her hair's longer than it used to be--I think it suits her face more. Good times. And thanks to Jen for going with me so I wouldn't look like a creepy loser :D

Last night, we [Jo, Deb, Cher, David, Mike, Steven, and I] learned the helpful lesson that Cheesecake Factory is not the ideal pre-drinking dinner venue. The food was better than normal for me since I discovered the Pasta Positano (sauteed chicken, crimini mushrooms, asparagus, spinach, all in a creamy tomato sauce over fettucini), but when topped with a slice of Toblerone Swiss Almond cheesecake, there was no way I could fit much of anything else into my stomach. This meant no vacancy for even one beer at V Bar afterward. It practically took me an hour to stuff a Grey Goose tonic down my gullet. I think I'm still full.

The rest of September's been interesting. Going out more on the weekends these days. I'm glad Jo was back to go out with and that Amanda came home ;) This led to two consecutive weekends of errr...fairly smashed Chrispy. Let's not delve into that too deeply. But good times again! Having Amanda home is always fun--although I need to remind myself to never go shopping with her. The money just vanishes once you're within a ten-foot radius of a mall and Amanda.

I'm in a good mood because of Vienna and Mission Coffee mocha, which is funny because most of Vienna's songs aren't exactly cheery. But the piano playing is brilliant, the lyrics are evocative, the back stories to her songs are entertaining, and having a leg fall asleep is worth it. It's amazing how that "Blue Caravan" background story cracks me up, and the actual song turns around and makes me feel angsty/achy/wistful. :) Must remember to get her song sheets when I have more disposable income.

And I just discovered the best site! Cooking for Engineers! Great tested recipes with accompanying photos--and each recipe is in an engineer-friendly grid format! How cool is that?!

* * *
"Enough to Go By" -Vienna Teng

I'm at your back door
with the earth of a hundred nations in my skin
you won't recognize me
for the light in my eyes is strange
it was years ago, god knows
when you strained to tell me your whole truth
that you were not mine to save
that you could not change

would it be enough to go by
if we could sail on the wind in the dark?
cut those chains in the middle of the night
that had you pulled apart
would it be enough to go by
if there's moonlight pulling the tide?
would it be enough to live on
if my love could keep you alive?

I've built a lot of castles
built a lot of blazing speed-of-light machines
but it doesn't matter, you know
they all crumble in the winds of change
so I turned back to breathing
I learned a few good reasons to cry
and I finally called home
praying you weren't out of range

carry the weight
I'll carry the weight of you, I swear
carry the weight
I'll carry the weight of you

so will you let me come in?
the mosquitoes have found me
and they're crowding 'round my blood
at least offer me a drink
or a breaking of the ice
I'm wanting your anger
I only want to see if I can shake you out of sleep
and bring you out under this flooded sky
at any price

so carry the weight
carry the weight of me in your heart
carry the weight
carry the weight of me

2005-09-24T22:30:00.000-07:00

Deb, Bea, and me at Rouge. Before the REAL fun. This is actually the "before" photo for me...but no "after" photo post for you! Haha!

2005-09-24T22:27:00.000-07:00

Girls sitting on stairs. Wow!

2005-09-24T22:25:00.000-07:00

The girls at Bay Street [from left]: Di, Sophia, Steph, me, Jen, Deb, Cher, Jo. Nice legs, Cher! I would whistle if I knew how.

2005-09-24T22:23:00.000-07:00

Bay Street Freaks. The title is self-explanatory ;) How do I get my face to do that? Pure genius. Amazing.

The nosy neighbor...

2005-09-09T12:42:00.000-07:00

My mom works from home about three or four days a week now. It makes life easier for her since she doesn't have to commute to work most of the time. However, this makes life less satisfying for me, as I have to wake up earlier than I'd like or need. Because I'm lazy, yes. Hey, I just think of it as energy conservation.

Anyway, since she began sitting at her fancy new computer right by the window of our ground-floor office room, she has become the Nosy Little Neighborhood Lady. I kid you not. There's this convenient little shrub (actually, I think it's just a stunted tree) right by the window, so it's difficult for people outside to see through the window. This makes it the perfect lookout spot.

"Didn't that man walk by the house twice already?"

"What are those kids doing outside? They don't have helmets on!"

"Where is that car going? They don't look familiar..."

I think we need a cat. Or twelve.

-
Been privately tutoring more lately. It's not too bad of a gig. I like teaching, know random facts that can't be put to use anywhere else, and it's all ah...not quite taxed, if you know what I mean. Shh. Or I'll have to kill you. >:)

Some of the kids I teach don't really need much tutoring though. They're already in honors classes and involved in a bajillion different extracurriculars on the side. (Seriously, a bajillion.) It makes me feel a little guilty, like I should support affirmative action more or start tutoring some underprivileged children for free. But then again, if they didn't hire me to tutor their kids, they'd be hiring someone else. I'm so good with justifications. :)

And since I'm a tutor, the kids I teach are my tutees. You may think that sounds stupid, but it's really a word. So hah! Word Racer agrees, too.

* * *
"Fix You" -Coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

Randomness

2005-06-06T01:00:00.000-07:00

Really bad with this consistent blogging thing. But here's another shot. Let's start it with the best movie poster ever. Hahaha. Gotta love that.

So I went camping and whitewater rafting on the American River with Yeung and his friends over Memorial weekend. I would call the weekend a camping improvement for me since I was only severely bitten by a mosquito once - in comparison to like 20 billion times last time. Okay, maybe it was only 20. But those still itched like bitches. I don't really know how much bitches actually itch, so let's not take that too literally. Took quite a few days to wash all that smoke smell off. Good times. :) Maybe I'll have some cool action rafting pictures to post later. I know you're so very anxious to see those. Patience, dears. Too bad there weren't any shots of us in our rental wetsuits. We looked like demented storm troopers with a 70s fashion sense for color. Tracy and I looked hot in our Barney suits. Yeung looked retarded, of course :D

Oh, so it's time to share another embarrassing Christina moment. I had partially rolled down both windows in my Solara one day. You know, to try to pick up chicks or high school boys and all. I'm such a player. Yes. Anyway, as I pressed the buttons to roll up both windows, the passenger-side window wouldn't close. I tried the button on that side of the car, but nothing. Crap. More button-mashing resulted in only frustration for me. Then I thought it might be similar to the time I was driving my friend's Camry and the passenger-side window also stuck because the whole window-regulator-thingie (So I don't know much car terminology. Sue me.) broke and had to be replaced. Resigned to that fate, I took the car in to the dealership owned by some family friends, along with my mom's car that needed its wheels aligned. (Sorry to Yeung for making him run boring errands like that with me the one full day he was home. =P) Yeung and I wandered around and pretty much did nothing for half the day until my family friend called me.

"Hey, Christina, uh...there was nothing wrong with your car."

"What do you mean? What about the window?"

"You had the child lock on."

Oh. Heh heh...I'm such a genius. But I didn't know there was a child lock in my car! And really, why the hell do you need a child lock for a two-door car? And the driver-side button doesn't even work when the child lock is on! Ridiculously impractical! Yeah. That's what I like to tell myself. And Yeung stopped laughing at me. Eventually.

By the way, a big thank you to Alex for giving me all that cool new music! I've been too lazy and cheap to get my own lately. Yay for Aqualung, Cary Brothers, Jem, Joshua Radin, new Coldplay, and rare Dido! Alex has great indie taste. His mainstream pop taste though...I'm still not very inclined toward about more than half of the Gwen Stefani album. Haha. Also, I still think Rob Thomas is trying to pull an Enrique in "Lonely No More." And I don't think there's ever been a whiter man than Rob Thomas.

* * *
"Something" -Cary Brothers

And you think you're alone as if I wasn't there
You're losing your faith in me
It's a car, it's a crash, it's a death, and you're scared
You just can't escape the scene

Hush now, you're insane
Touch my skin, come back again
The sky is falling

It's something you cannot fake
This something you will not shake
Just walk away before I look at you
It's something only you can take

All your words, it's a lie to yourself, it's a home
There's so much that you can't see
It's a bomb that can kill everyone, and it blows
You can't even hear me scream

Hush now, you're insane
Touch my skin, come back again
The sky is falling

It's something you cannot fake
This something you will not shake
Just walk away before I look at you
It's something only you can take

This is only feeling with no thought
Is this love?
What happened to the promises I bought?
Is this love?

It's something you cannot fake
This something you will not shake
Just walk away before I look at you
It's something only you can take

Wonderful Jimmy Eat World & the No Good, Horrible, Very Bad Trip Home

2005-05-14T02:47:00.000-07:00

To begin my Jimmy Eat World Concert Adventure, I take along my 13-year-old little brother, Brandon, and his 13-year-old friend, Ryan, who is disturbingly taller and larger than me. After inching through traffic on 880, we get some In-N-Out to eat in the car on the drive up to the Henry J Kaiser Arena in Oakland. Mmmmm, I think, animal-style fries!

Knowing me, what do you think I do with said fries? Yes, I scarf most of them, but a few special fries covered in animal-style goop fall on my beige cloth jacket and jeans. Now I have beautiful puke-like stains on my jacket and a suspicious splotch on my crotch. [Internal rhyme alert!]

Blah blah, wait in line outside the arena, yadda yadda. Brandon, Ryan, and I get in, find rather good spots in the middle of the standing-room-only area close to the stage. Sweet. My good pickle friend, Cathy, will be late because of work and traffic, but that's cool. I'll just hang with my brother and his friend in the middle of the crowd until she gets there.

Great idea until the moshing during Mates of States. [By the way, HOW THE HELL do you mosh to Mates of States? That is not moshing music.] I will never understand moshing. Refer to my BFD concert blog uh...some time ago for reflections on that. After getting pushed closer to the stage and the middle of lots of tall people with BO issues, Cathy Bao finally gets there. Yell yell yell, I finally push my way out of the masses of reeking moshers and teenybopper girls to the edge of the crowd and hang with my favorite pickle.

Taking Back Sunday goes on...quite rocking. I know exactly one song they play. Lead singer is crazy. His slightly baggy sweater reminds me of a dark straightjacket. Before Jimmy gets on, Cathy courteously shares her beers with me.

Jimmy Eat World is amazing. The most fun I've had rocking out in a long, long time. Yes, I start jumping and headbanging and making devil horn signs. Sweetness! Which was a really wonderful closer, by the way. Anyway, they play almost all my favorite songs...although I think they should have played more. Good times. Awesome live band. Christina is happy despite tall white dude's beer-spillage into her tank top and bra.

Eventually, the kids and I are on our way back home on 880. Brandon is thirsty, so I say we'll stop somewhere to get him a drink. But wait...drink? I had a large coke and beer and haven't gone to the bathroom yet. What's this feeling coming over me? It's getting stronger...stronger...I should...No, I have to...OH GOD, I NEED TO PISS. Probably not the wisest idea to attempt to find a bathroom at 11:00 pm in Oakland, so I hold it until Hayward. Exit...sweet, 76 gas station is still open! Wait...uh...these people loitering around the station don't look particularly friendly. Maybe they're looking at my car a little too intently...U-TURN.

Back on the freeway. Bathroom Attempt #1 was a bust. Very next exit, I stop at another 76 gas station. Sweet! Park, run out with kiddies. Try bathroom door...locked. Go to attendant window, the man doesn't even TALK to me, just points at a stupid ghetto-ass sign that says, "NO bathroom key." WTF. I try my desperate look on man...to no avail. Heartless bastard. Run back to car.

Back on freeway. Bathroom Attempt #2 was a bust. FINE, I will not fuck with Hayward again. My willpower will have to last until Union Landing. Yay, Alvarado-Niles exit! In-N-Out is a guaranteed open! Brandon tells me he doesn't want to buy a drink at In-N-Out and I should just go to Burger King since they have a gas station there anyway.

"Are you sure, Brandon?"

"Just go to Burger King!"

"If they're closed, I'm going to hate you. And probably pee in my pants."

Turn into yet another gas station...Oh shit, it's closed. Burger King must be open! It's fast food! I run to the employee who's at the door...THEY'RE CLOSING. I beg, beg, beg the woman to let me use the restroom, using my best pathetic-pity-me-my-bladder-will-explode look, manager sees it from across the floor, and tells her to let me go. PRAISE THE LORD. I suppose the third time was the charm. Not much feels as good as the relief of peeing after you really, really have to go.

But no, it's not over.

After dropping off Ryan, I'm almost homefree! Driving down Mission, it feels like nothing's going to stop me now from getting home. So wrong. PA-POW! Oh shit, what now? I must have run over something, but I can't tell what since it's dark. I get home fine, go to check my tires...and yes, the back passenger tire is hissing air.

Wonderful. Call up my cousin, he suggests I jack up that corner in case the tire deflates all the way and the rim gets damaged. Sure. Sounds simple enough. Okay, maybe I've never had to use a jack, but how difficult can it be?

Plenty difficult when you can't even remove the jack from your trunk. Someone really screwed that mother in tightly. Then I can't even figure out the jack I jack from my mom's Volvo. In the midst of my jack struggles, I start bleeding. Yes, I injure my finger. Of course. I love it. I am in such a good mood. At this point I just want to throw a tantrum and throw a few things, but don't worry. Fairly happy ending ahead!

Eventually my mom calls our super nice neighbor since she sees their light is still on. He even changes the tire for us. Yaaaay. Just have to get it fixed tomorrow.

THE END.

"23" -Jimmy Eat World

I felt for sure last night
that once we said goodbye
no one else will know these lonely dreams
no one else will know that part of me
I'm still driving away
and I'm sorry every day
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live...
not stopping...

it was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
no one else will have me like you do
no one else will have me
only you

you'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time
what are you hoping for?
I'm here, I'm now, I'm ready
holding on tight
don't give away the end
the one thing that stays mine

amazing still, it seems
I'll be twenty-three
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regret

you'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time
what are you hoping for?
I'm here, I'm now, I'm ready
holding on tight
don't give away the end
the one thing that stays mine...

2005-05-14T02:24:00.000-07:00

Jimmy Eat World Concert: Futures 2005 Tour. Yay :)

Cryptic ruminations and a mini-update to boot

2005-05-11T00:28:00.000-07:00

I feel like I'm sort of in a rut these days. A bit restless.

Maybe it's because some of my favorite people are far away.

Anyway, Amanda came up for Mother's Day to surprise Mommy, and a good time was had by all. Although Amanda sort of sickened. Is it only me or do you expect any sentence containing "so-and-so sickened" to end with "and died." But never fear, Amanda is still alive. She was just a bit under the weather. She flew back to San Diego yesterday, and today I actually thought to myself, "Wow, I miss Amanda." Sad. :(

My lovely little sis, Willow, also asked me to be her date for Spring Formal this year. I was happy to accept. Seeing all the girls again warmed the cockles of my heart. [What the hell are cockles anyway? They sound slightly suspect.] Now I'm usually more of a vodka person, but that night I had the best shot of tequila ever: Patron tequila. Whoa, baby, so smooth. After seeing my little and me down the shot, the bartender asked, "You've done this before, haven't you, ladies?" Perhaps. But never a tequila shot so tasty :D Many thanks to Des's date, Greg, for introducing that to us. Good times. I jacked a few pictures from some of the girls, and those will follow.

The weekend before was Theresa's belated birthday shindig. Yes, much alcohol was consumed and many drunken text messages were sent. Sadly, I don't really have any photos of that night yet. [Maybe I have one, but I was randomly sticking my tongue out so you don't need to see that kind of thing again.] Suffice to say that Theresa was definitely inebriated and acting out of character. At chicken & waffles after drinking, Theresa kept pantomiming a heart and calling people "my love." Gotta love alcohol.

And as many of my friends know by now, I've been cooking a lot: mini chocolate eclairs; shrimp pasta with asparagus, basil, and sundried tomatoes; crab cakes; cookies galore; the list goes on. I recently struck upon a theory as to why I developed this sudden passion. Since I moved home and my life is now quite devoid of random drama, I had to pick up a hobby. Somehow cooking filled this void in my life. I don't have the most appreciative family at home to cook for at times - my mom doesn't like cheese or "those weird herb tastes" and my little brother is simply a brat - but it's been fun. Maybe I'll start taking pictures of the food I cook and post them here. Can't save the results of my cooking any other way. Well, I suppose I could, but that would invite nasty things like green mold and disease.

Man, I should really start blogging more often. Otherwise it seems that you're subjected to extreme long-windedness. Sorry.

The turkey leg picture below makes me happy though. Haha. :)

2005-05-11T00:07:00.000-07:00

Formal 2005: You thought I was done with all those sorority formals, didn't you? So did I. But WRONG! I still had one more in me. Formal House photo...Nu Pledge Class all the way at the tippy-top. Dang.

2005-05-11T00:05:00.000-07:00

Formal 2005: My longest lineage photo to date. [From L to R] Amy, my great great grand little; Christine, my great grand little and pledge baby; Brianna, my grand little; Willow, my little sis; and ME, the GODFATHER OF THEM ALL. Wow, I'm old.

2005-05-11T00:03:00.000-07:00

Formal 2005: Willow and her lovely date. The corsage I bought her is not shown. Pity.

2005-05-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

I forgot to include the TURKEY LEGS in my Disneyland photos. You can see Yeung looking at my turkey leg in consternation since he knows he can not hope to eat his faster. That's right, bitch. You know who's boss! Hahaha. Thanks for the pic, Anita.

Er...hello.

2005-04-28T02:22:00.000-07:00

I'm still alive! Barely. :) Holy cow, it's been three months.

So...not much has been going on. I am 23 now. Jesus, I'm getting old. My birthday was marked by extreme drunkenness. Massive thank yous and apologies to Michelle, Amelia, Theresa, Evan, Chiung, and Josh for dealing with my drunk ass. Oh lord, I feel sort of nauseated just remembering the hangover the next morning. Thanks, Theresa Vu, better known as Satan. Okay, okay, so she didn't force the alcohol down my throat, but that girl's got a way about her...any alcohol lying around nearby is not safe. Neither are any old elementary school friends.

For Theresa's birthday this April, I really wanted to get her an orange hypercolor shirt, reminiscent of her ultracool shirt we all envied back in Mission Valley Elementary, but alas, it is no longer the 80s. My extremely thoughtful gift intention was foiled! But I'll be around to make sure Theresa is at least as messed up as I was. This may take significantly more alcohol than I guzzled, but it will be done. And I'll also have time-stamped pictures to prove it.

After my birthday, my Spring Break trip down to San Diego and LA was lovely except for a couple of mishaps - namely TWO PARKING TICKETS ON THE SAME MORNING. F-ing handicapped curbside parking in a residential area...wtf is that? Stupid paint was peeling off the curb anyway. And it just happened to be the one morning of street cleaning when I was parked there. But did the second parking policeman have mercy on me once they saw I was already fined? NO. Bitter, bitter police produce a bitter, bitter Christina. Fortunately, Yeung is very good at curing my poopy moods. The non-depressing times down in SoCal were mostly spent cooking and eating and watching Futurama, Family Guy, and CSI. Good times. :)

And let's not forget the momentous event that was probably the closest I'll ever get to a religious experience: the U2 Vertigo concert at HP Pavilion!!! Yes, that seriously deserved three exclamation points. Thanks to David for getting me the ticket! U2 was amazing. Two straight hours of Bono and The Edge and Adam and Larry. Here's a picture of my badass concert T-shirt. How cool is Bono with the cowboy hat? And ending with each band member exiting while playing "40" as the whole arena sings...spine-tingling in a such a good way.

I can't think of much else to say. Not writing in here sort of dries up my blogging brain. I used to wander through life, waiting for random accidents and thoughts to befall/occur to me so I could think, "Ooh, I should blog about this!" So either I developed a life or my life has become so utterly pedestrian that I can no longer blog as I used to. Yes, my legions of internet readers are grieving. Hahaha. Whenever I imagine "legions" of people, I picture men in armor riding into the Crusades and shit. I bet men like that wouldn't really enjoy my blog. I bet they also smelled. So I'm back to nothing. Oh well.

I promise to redevelop my blogginess. It's good to write, even if it's mostly nonsensical. Must keep my English and grammar above the fifth grade level if I want to keep tutoring. I made my fifth grade tutee write me a summary of the myth of Tantalus when she didn't know the definition of "tantalizing" - hey, she'll never forget that word anymore! God, I'm such a geek. Am embracing it.

As a reward for getting down here, photos will follow, you picture whores.

Edit: Did you know that if you mistakenly transpose the s and p in blogspot [meaning blogpsot, for those of you who are too lazy to figure it out on your own], you get directed to this page full of popups that tries to convert you to Christianity? Stunning sneak-attack strategery! Yeah, I'm lame. Shut up.

2005-04-28T02:20:00.000-07:00

My badass U2 concert shirt. Everyone looks sufficiently badass...except The Edge. Lamentable. He sort of just looks like a bum hanging out on a sidewalk...c'mon, Edge, even oldass Adam looks hard!

2005-04-28T02:19:00.000-07:00

In Mickey's house at Disneyland: Christina, Christina's bf, Tracy, Tracy's bf ;)

2005-04-28T02:18:00.000-07:00

We look fairly normal in front of Sleeping Beauty's Castle - which, by the way, is repainted a slightly nasty pink. Pretty at night, ugly by day. There must be some fairytale about that too.

2005-04-28T02:17:00.000-07:00

Uh...yeah. We'll just leave it at that.

2005-04-28T02:16:00.000-07:00

Deb's 23rd: Me, Cher, Deb, Alisa, Steven's knee

2005-04-28T02:15:00.000-07:00

Deb's 23rd: Reminiscing about high school. You can see that Debra was a little leery about remembering ;)

2005-04-28T02:14:00.000-07:00

My 23rd: Groping Michelle. Incidentally, I'm still sober.

2005-04-28T02:10:00.000-07:00

My 23rd: Perhaps this is when I started becoming a little unruly. Amelia looks so innocent and cute. Michelle looks a little frightened...and you can see why.

2005-04-28T02:09:00.000-07:00

My 23rd: Definitely not so sober anymore.

2005-01-31T02:53:00.000-08:00

Edit: I am lame. Saved this as draft instead of publishing. Heh. This really was written on Monday. Pinky-swear!

It's been a nice weekend. I have learned:

-BJ's serves awfully greasy food. And they really like playing assorted questionable veryverypop "music."
-The Twister mat is a bit smaller than I remember.
-Ted Baker is a very expensive, very nice designer store. Anyone want to buy me a shirt for $145? Oh yes, that doesn't even purchase sleeves ;)
-Santana Row is pretty. Artificial, but pretty.
-I am now old enough to attend my friends' dinner parties. This is slightly distressing, but still fun.
-Eight females can go through quite a number of wine bottles.
-I am not very good at Monopoly.
-Going to WalMart to purchase a lint brush can lead to leaving with a box of Monopoly: Lord of the Rings Trilogy Edition. And no lint brush.
-I am insanely geeky. [Reference directly above.]
-One of the best feelings in the world is giving someone a gift they truly, absolutely, unquestionably appreciate and love. This gift just happens to be a T-shirt with the phrase "I love Latin boys" emblazoned on it. :D Hope it serves you well, Cathy Bao ;)

* * *
"Clarity" -John Mayer

I worry
I weigh three times my body
I worry
I throw my fear around
But this morning
There's a calm I can't explain
The rock candy's melted, only diamonds now remain

By the time I recognize this moment
This moment will be gone
But I will bend the light pretending
That it somehow lingered on

And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will wait to find
That it won't and it won't because it can't
It just can't
(It's not supposed to)

Was there a second of time I looked around?
Did I sail through or drop my anchor down?
Was anything enough to kiss the ground?
And say I'm here now?
And she is here now

So much wasted in the afternoon
So much sacred in the month of June
How 'bout you?

And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will pay no mind
When it won't and it won't
Because it won't
And I will waste no time
Worried 'bout no rainy weather
And I will waste no time
Remaining in our lives together

2005-01-28T01:10:00.000-08:00

So I found this really involved website from Cherry's profile: Penguin Warehouse. I showed it to Yeung, and the first thing he asks is, "Which type of penguin is most tender?"

Sick bastard. :( Haha.

Eventually he asked if any cultures have ever eaten penguins. Equipped with my incredible online sleuthing [some may call them "stalking," but WHATEVER] skills, I found this:

QUESTION: Can you eat penguins? What do they taste like?

ANSWER from Polly Penhale on January 12, 1995:
Penguins are an excellent food source for many animals in Antarctica, such as leopard seals and killer whales, but people shouldn't eat them!

Under the Antarctic Treaty, birds and mammals are protected. The United States passed a law called the Antarctic Conservation Act, which prohibits U.S. citizens from harming birds such as penguins. As for taste, my guess is that they would taste oily and fishy, as their diet consists of krill, which are shrimp-like animals in the ocean.

ANSWER from Michael Castellini on January 13, 1995"
The only examples I know of where humans ate penguins were in some of the early explorations of the Antarctic. Since there are also penguins in Africa, South America, New Zealand and other warmer places, it is possible that people who lived there ate these birds at some point. I don't know anyone who has tasted penguin, but I would think that it would taste like fish, not chicken! Since these birds eat fish, squid and krill, their meat would probably have lots of marine oils and taste to it!

Neat! I like how some scientists or other enthusiasts reply with exclamation marks when talking about their subject! You know they'd be the geeky people you'd laugh at behind your hand if you heard them speak!

And for my Christmas present from Michelle, I received a tank top and underwear that said "word geek" in sparkles on them. Yes, someday I will be one of those people! [Or I probably already am!]

2005-01-18T23:49:00.000-08:00

"You just pick the right one to be in the foxhole with; and when you're out of the foxhole, you keep your dick in your pants." -Dan Foreman, In Good Company

Really, how much simpler can it get? ;)

Three-day weekend was nice and chill. Had dinner with Deb, David, and Shirley. I would like to advise any and all to NOT order the beef stew rice dish at Pho Saigon in Fremont. About half that stew was orange oil. Blech. Won a few games of pool afterward - yay! And Ha King Yang kicked butt at PhotoMatch :) Then I embarrassed myself in front of Deb and David at Karaoke Revolution. All right!

Saw the aforementioned In Good Company with Howard the other day too. Pretty entertaining. I'm developing a bit of a partiality for Topher Grace. He's so endearingly awkward yet charismatic.

Recent cooking ventures include chicken breast in sun-dried tomato cream sauce over fettucini and teriyaki-style chicken. The latter was ah...a bit too sweet since i misread 5 teaspoons of honey as 5 tablespoons. Goddamnit. I was wondering how I was going through the little honeybear so quickly.

I have nothing entertaining to say. Well, I did have a dream the other night that Howard was put on trial for drunk & disorderly conduct by a horribly short, fobby waiter. "He was ah...too much drink!" Haha...good times.

Still need to use up over a pint of whipping cream. Thanks for leaving me with that, Amanda. Bah. Maybe I should just chug that shit since I have to regain the weight I lost when I was sick. YUM.

I'm sad that I have to wait three more weeks to go down to LA. Boo.

This has been another disjointed message from Christina.

* * *
"Polaris" -Jimmy Eat World

I'll say it straight and plain
I know I've made mistakes
I've always been afraid
I've always been afraid

A thousand nights or more
I travel east and north
Please answer the door

Can you tell me
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

Get down on your knees
Whisper what I need
Something pretty
Something pretty

I feel that when I'm old
I'll look at you and know
The world was beautiful

Then you tell me...
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

I'm done, there's nothing left to show
I try but can't let it go
Are you happy where you're standing still?
Do you really want the sugar pill?
I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll start
Tonight it feels so hard
As the train approaches Gare Du Nord
As I'm sure your kiss remains employed
Am I only dreaming?

You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

2005-01-12T01:06:00.000-08:00

Now I know I haven't been back here in a while, but life hasn't been particularly angsty of late, and angst was always my favorite topic. Besides Christina-is-a-complete-clutz moments. More of those to come. Promise!

So recently, this one random girl I've never met jacked a couple of my blog entries and pretended they were her own. At first she just took the mushroom entry [see below], and I was a bit annoyed. I mean, what is she doing, stealing my mushroom-warning mom like that? No, she can't have my weird mom. Psh.

Then she took an old entry I wrote on November 4, 2003 [Yes, that was a long time ago]:

i think i've been sleeping way more than is normal. i had a dream the other night that i threw up. it was sort of disturbing. then i realized i had drooled on my arm. hm.

i've been having to pee really often too. and when i have to go nowadays, it's not the former ooh-gotta-go-but-i-can-hold-it-a-bit feeling, but an oh-shit-i-HAVE-TO-GO urgency. my bladder's shrinking or dying or something. how troublesome. on my Worst Road Rage Ever Day, i was stuck on central expressway for over half an hour, unable to move forward or backward due to an accident two blocks away. and i really had to pee. it was a very rare sort of desperation. at times, i contemplated leaving my car unattended and going at the side of the road--except there was only sidewalk and a wall and yes, i am female. then i wondered if it would truly be all that bad to pee in my pants (well, skirt)...things were getting crazy. finally, i got out of that snarl and practically ran into taco bell to ask about their bathroom. around back, i noticed that i had to go back in to get a token to enter the said bathroom. christina was unhappy. unhappy christinas consume a whole nachos bell grande and taco. ah well.

Except this girl changed Central Expressway to 101 and Taco Bell to Burger King. How very strange. I guess I should be flattered that she thought my entries were interesting enough to put on her site, but seriously, can't you write about your own needing-to-pee experiences? It's okay to write about your own life. Really.

Anyway, onto slightly less bizarre subjects, I went movie-hopping with Michelle today for our 2-year anniversary. We're solid, man. Two years of bliss, poopsiedoo. Jeffrey's trying to supplant me, but we all know that's impossible. ;) So The Life Aquatic was...well, bizarre. Funny at times, but rather uneven, I'd say. Although it was definitely hilarious seeing the usually overly-intense Willem Dafoe as Klaus, the shorts-clad child-man crew member. Million Dollar Baby, on the other hand, had me bawling like a baby. Michelle never gets tired of seeing me sobbing and puffy and red. Yes, the only times my face gets red is when I cry or run a couple miles. And since I haven't run a couple miles in about...oh, a couple of years, you'll only see color on my face if you make me cry. No Asian Flush for me, nyah nyah. :)

Speaking of alcohol, happy belated birthday to Big Sis Tina too! Went all the way to Loft 11 to party it up with her. No repeat of the previous Loft 11 fiasco though; this time, it was Tina who did the puking. ;) Why is binge drinking so often the peer-pressured birthday celebration of choice? I guess there's no better way to ring in another birth year than with vomit. It's okay, I'll always be there to hold that hair back when my dear friends throw up. Ah, sisterhood. :D

As a closing thought, I found this while digging through my archives for that jacked entry: "maybe falling in love is like stepping barefoot into dogshit on an unmown lawn--you don't know what you're in until you feel it."

God, what a nugget of pure gold wisdom. Admit it, you liked that. Okay, so maybe I would now say love is a bit less repulsive than dogshit. Haha. Love you, honey! Really, you're not dogshit! I'm so good at making people feel special. :)

* * *
You can run from love
And if it's really love, it will find you
Catch you by the heel
But you can't be numb for love
The only pain is to feel nothing at all
How can I hurt when I'm holding you?

And you're the one, there's no one else
You make me want to lose myself
In the mysterious distance
Between a man and a woman
-U2, "A Man and a Woman"

2004-11-30T18:59:00.000-08:00

My mom came home tonight and said, "See, you shouldn't pick wild mushrooms! The newspaper said this family picked wild mushrooms from the Oakland hills and ate them and the old grandfather died!"

I didn't have the heart or energy to tell my mom that neither I nor anyone I personally know goes around picking and eating freshly-picked wild mushrooms. How random. I suppose she's worried for my...safety?

Little Known Fact: The movie Man on Fire starring Denzel Washington contains an anal explosion scene. And Amanda rented this rated-R movie for our little brother to watch. Good one, Amanda!

I rock at Scrabble (okay, maybe the competition wasn't the stiffest) and half-rock at Big Two. Yay!

* * *
"City of Blinding Lights" -U2

The more you see, the less you know
The less you find out as you go
I knew much more then than I do now

Neon heart, dayglow eyes
A city lit by fireflies
They're advertising in the skies
For people like us

And I miss you when you're not around
I'm getting ready to leave the ground

Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights

Don't look before you laugh
Look ugly in a photograph
Flash bulbs purple irises
The camera can't see

I've seen you walk unafraid
I've seen you in the clothes you made
Can you see the beauty inside of me?
What happened to the beauty I had inside of me?

And I miss you when you're not around
I'm getting ready to leave the ground

Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights

Time... time
Time... time
Time won't leave me as I am
But time won't take the boy out of this man

Oh you look so beautiful tonight
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
Yeah this city of blinding lights

The more you know, the less you feel
Some pray for others steal
Blessings not just for the ones who kneel...luckily

2004-11-07T01:26:00.000-08:00

Democrat or Republican?

When I was in elementary school, I distinctly remember the presidential election between George Bush the Senior and Bill Clinton since our school had all sorts of random election activities to condition young minds to care about politics from an early age or somesuch. So I went home to find out whom I should vote for in the pretend elementary school election.

"Mommy, Daddy, are you Democrats or Republicans?" I asked in Chinese since my Chinese was much better back then.

"Republican."

"Why?"

"Because," my dad answered unhelpfully.

"But what's the difference?" I insisted.

"Well, Republicans give a dollar to the government when it asks them to," my mom answered, as if it were obvious.

"So...Republicans give a dollar and Democrats won't?" I attempted to clarify.

"Uh-huh, yeah, that's it."

I decided that Democrats were greedy people who wouldn't even give a dollar to the government. Therefore, I wanted the Republicans to win! Yay! Of course, that Bush didn't win in the end.

This year, before Election Day, I noticed my mom had received a voting guide from the Democratic Party. Thinking my mom was still Republican all this time, I asked, "Hey, Mommy, weren't you Republican?"

"Well, when your dad and I were filling out tax returns when Reagan was president, there was a box that asked if we wanted to donate a dollar to his party. Your dad said to just check it, so they registered us as Republican."

*Click* OOOOH. The things people don't understand when they're in the fifth grade. Or...maybe that's just me and slightly fobby parents.

And this time I didn't want Bush to win, but he did. Maybe I'm a jinx. =P

2004-11-03T23:00:00.000-08:00

Results are in, Bush won, Kerry conceded. I know everyone's had their say in this, but I figured I should record my say for personal future reference. And posterity or some shit.

Basically, I voted for Kerry. He barely lost the electoral vote, but also lost the popular vote, so I can't go complain lots like 2000. I blame the hick nation that lives smack dab in the middle of ours (and in the south). As a certain someone gently put it, we can't blame them for being "less developed." Haha.

It was still such a close race, but in the end, Kerry probably lost because of "faith-based moral values." Which is bullshit to me. We are supposed to have a separation of church and state...um yes, pretty funny. If you want to get personal, let's talk about regular moral values. Kerry may have divorced and remarried, but at least he has healthy, intelligent offspring. Bush's parenting skills? Oh yes, those raised some substance-abusing drunk drivers. But they're hot, so it's okay.

Yet what this all comes down to for me is that Bush is an Idiot. Yes, capital I. Forgive me if I don't care to entrust my nation to an Idiot. "The Twin Towers have been struck by a terrorist attack? Let me sit here longer with the children and look like more of a dumbass. Great plan!" Oh wait, what actually went through his head was probably more along the lines of "Der...."

It just scares me that our country will be led for another four years by the Idiot and a GOP majority House and Senate. I'm scared about the Justices they will be allowed to appoint: indefinite terms and possible ability to overturn Roe vs Wade. I'm scared about Republican Senators like Jim DeMint who express goals of banning homosexuals and single unwed mothers from teaching in public schools.

So here's my song dedication going out to America under the Bush administration: "America, Fuck Yeah" by Trey Parker. Though the Idiot probably wouldn't get it, and think it would be a great song if they only took out the swearing.

* * *
"America, Fuck Yeah" -Trey Parker

america...
america...
america, FUCK YEAH!
coming again to save the motherfucking day, yeah
america, FUCK YEAH!
freedom is the only way, yeah
terrorist, your game is through 'cause now you have to answer to
america, FUCK YEAH!
so lick my butt and suck on my balls
america, FUCK YEAH!
what you going to do when we come for you now?
it’s the dream that we all share; it’s the hope for tomorrow

FUCK YEAH!

mcdonalds, FUCK YEAH!
wal-mart, FUCK YEAH!
the gap, FUCK YEAH!
baseball, FUCK YEAH!
NFL, FUCK YEAH!
rock and roll, FUCK YEAH!
the internet, FUCK YEAH!
slavery, FUCK YEAH!

FUCK YEAH!

starbucks, FUCK YEAH!
disney world, FUCK YEAH!
porno, FUCK YEAH!
valium, FUCK YEAH!
reeboks, FUCK YEAH!
fake tits, FUCK YEAH!
sushi, FUCK YEAH!
taco bell, FUCK YEAH!
rodeos, FUCK YEAH!
bed bath and beyond (fuck yeah, fuck yeah)

liberty, FUCK YEAH!
white slips, FUCK YEAH!
the alamo, FUCK YEAH!
band-aids, FUCK YEAH!
las vegas, FUCK YEAH!
christmas, FUCK YEAH!
immigrants, FUCK YEAH!
popeye, FUCK YEAH!
demarcates, FUCK YEAH!
republicans (republicans)
(fuck yeah, fuck yeah)
sportsmanship
books

2004-11-01T02:28:00.000-08:00

Below are a few highlighted pictures from...this summer until now. Yes, I've been very bad about updating. My apologies.

Right now, I'm being so lazy that I'm eating cheesecake from Saran wrap so I don't have to wash another fork. Yeung and I baked the cheesecake from scratch :D Okay, so we didn't exactly make the cream cheese, but you know what I mean. I am very proud of my recent culinary accomplishments: chicken marsala, cheesecake, and chocolate chip cookies from scratch. Yum!

Amanda: WHAT??
Amanda: you made CHEESECAKE?? what is this??
Amanda: what have you done with my sister?!

I'm trying not to be offended each time someone exclaims in disbelief over my cooking. Hey, I can cook from a recipe, okay?? 100% survival rate so far too. So hah!

In other news, Yeung and I have been together for over two months now. Yes, he has broken my record for longest relationship ever! I know, I know, what an incredibly difficult record to defeat. Hahaha. Thanks for proving that I'm not completely hopeless :)

2004-11-01T02:27:00.001-08:00

Mu Class of Zeta Chapter aKDPhi :) I'm so proud of my babies! <3

2004-11-01T02:27:00.000-08:00

Mu Class pledge parents...done! Gotta love Cathy's beret.

2004-11-01T01:37:00.000-08:00

I look stupid.

2004-11-01T01:36:00.000-08:00

Yeung looks stupid. Can't win. Almost looks like he has a lazy eye though. Impressive!

2004-11-01T01:35:00.000-08:00

Congratulations, Aborn and Keely!

2004-11-01T01:34:00.000-08:00

MSJ girls at Aborn's wedding.

2004-11-01T01:33:00.000-08:00

Jo's gone again, conquering the world. Bye, honey. =\

2004-11-01T01:32:00.001-08:00

Wine Day with the girls. White Zinfandel - yes, oh-so-girly, but pretty :)

2004-11-01T01:32:00.000-08:00

Smooch!

2004-11-01T01:31:00.000-08:00

Mmm...Chi Sandwich(ed between Christinas :).

2004-11-01T01:30:00.000-08:00

Happy 22nd, Michelle! You're still bf #1, honey. ;)

2004-11-01T01:29:00.000-08:00

I suppose I haven't felt much urge to write here in a while since my life is rather pleasant right now. And we all know conflict is the spice in our lives.

These days, everyone feels like nothing is worth having if there were no obstacles to overcome, no conflict. What makes a good story? Exposition, conflict, buildup, climax, then conclusion. No one will pay to hear a story about two people meeting, going out on pleasant but uneventful dates, getting married, and then having 2.5 children. BORING. People want to read or watch chance meetings, external meddling, love triangles, forbidden love.

This obviously translates to reality too. So many people are turned off when when a prospective significant other is too adoring, too easy, too available. We love making life difficult for ourselves.

But what about two people who are naturally drawn together and become happy without much difficulty? Shouldn't that be the stuff of dreams, the romantic ideal?

Oh wait, that's just SO cheesy. Welcome to our cynical world. :)

-
11.01.99 - never forget.

2004-09-26T18:58:00.000-07:00

Summer flew by. Depressing.

But it was a very good summer. Uplifting. :)

I don't even remember what to update about anymore. There's been lots of good, some bad, and the girls almost burning down my kitchen.

I think I've changed a lot in the past few years. I finally realized what I truly want, and have been fortunate enough to find it. Other doors may close, habits may need to change, but I've committed to this path and I'll see it through with all of myself. It's wonderful to not be disappointed for a change. Thank you. :)

Everything's changing. Just need to hang on and try to enjoy the ride.

* * *
"Hands Down" -Dashboard Confessional

breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep
this air is blessed you share with me
this night is wild, so calm and dull
these hearts they race from self control
your legs are smooth as they graze mine
we're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all

my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
so won't you kill me, so i die happy
my heart is yours to fill or burst
to break or bury, or wear as jewelry
whichever you prefer

the words are hushed, let's not get busted
just lay entwined here, undiscovered
safe in here from all the stupid questions
"hey, did you get some?"
man, that is so dumb
stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear...
so we can get some

my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
so won't you kill me, so i die happy
my heart is yours to fill or burst
to break or bury, or wear as jewelry
whichever you prefer

hands down, this is the best day i can ever remember
i'll always remember the sound of the stereo
the dim of the soft lights
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
and this walk that we shared together
the streets were wet
and the gate was locked so i jumped it
and i let you in
and you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it
and i knew that you meant it
that you meant it

2004-09-04T03:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I hate alcohol. Lately, it tends to make me cry after a while. And tonight was the first time I've thrown up the night of drinking. What an accomplishment. Sorry to all my lovely friends for having to take care of me =X And thank you to Yeung for calling. :) Ah well. Let's hope tomorrow night will be harmless alcoholic board game fun.

I once saw a small sculpture titled "Regret" at a museum...oddly enough, I can't even remember which museum it was, but it was one of the most affecting pieces I've seen. With her head tilted aside and looking behind, the delicate sculpture just breathed that bittersweet feeling. For such a sad emotion, there is so much beauty. It's as if behind the sculpture lay every beautiful thing that could have been, that never was. But therein lies the problem: no one knows if such things would actually happen if given a second chance anyway. Sometimes, you just have to look ahead and try to forget the past.

And wow, my new Vicky's Secret thong is amazingly comfortable! Thanks, Bea. :)

I am eagerly awaiting Magic Mountain. ;)

* * *
"My Happiness" -Powderfinger

i see your shadow on the street now
i hear you push through the rusty gate
click of your heels on the concrete
waiting for a knock, coming way too late
it seems an age since i've seen ya
count down as the weeks trickle into days

so you come in and put your bags down
i know there's something in the air
how can i do this to you right now?
you're over there when i need you here...

my happiness
slowly creeping back now you're at home
if it ever starts sinking in
it must be when you pack up and go

it seems an age since i've seen ya
count down as the weeks trickle into days
i hope that time hasn't changed ya
all i really want is for you to stay

so you come in and put your bags down
i notice something in the air
how can i do this to you right now?
you're over there when i need you here...

my happiness
slowly creeping back now you're at home
if it ever starts sinking in
must be when you pack up and go

i know, i know, i know, what is inside...

2004-09-02T01:44:00.000-07:00

Yay for shopping with Bea and Linh today. Unfortunately, I was not successful in that whole exercising-shopping-restraint thing. Shit.

Then earlier tonight I met up with the old school Roble freshman crew at the BBC. Did you know the BBC in Menlo Park stands for British Bankers Club? Hotness. British Bankers. Uh...yeah. I don't know what I'm talking about. Pictures!

Eric sandwich! Fulfilling his dreams.

Girl picture! Here I am with Linh and Bea. Aren't they hot? Yet oh-so-taken. Sorry, boys.

FOB pose. Herro!

Couple picture with Eric's "sexy pose." Ooh baby!

My favorite couple in the whole world - Ebahn and Bea! I looove you. And someday that threesome will happen. Gotta buy me a few more drinks, Eric.

Oh crap. Kinky stuff, Linh. Lucky Eddy.

The boys trying to be sexy. I like to call this photo, "Evil Eddy." Oh God, so possessed. Run, Tim, run!

Girls. Tongues. What more can you ask for? And yes, my tongue really is touching my nose.

2004-08-31T04:31:00.000-07:00

This is someplace new. Like climbing out of a hole into some very muddled, cloudy air...only trying to follow the sweetness. I know it's out there, and I'll eventually find my way. It smells so close right now; I am full of hope.

I just wish it were easier and less uncertain. But that's the beauty of it, isn't it? The unpredictability, the possibility that the note might fall just a little bit off the expected. And maybe it will sound lovelier than you ever imagined.

I love my girl friends. You are all so very wonderful. Most recently, thank you, Bea and Michelle and Joanna and Debra. :) I can't go too wrong with you around to smack some sense into me every now and then, right? Or at the very least, I won't go crazy as long as I have you to listen to me get everything out of my system.

I just want everything to work out for once.

* * *
somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skillfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands
-E.E. Cummings

2004-08-30T01:36:00.000-07:00

I can't do this anymore.

You know they say, "Better late than never." I find this untrue. Sometimes late is just too late, and you can't be that stupid anymore. I hate being stupid. You can only repeat the same mistake so many times before calling yourself officially mentally retarded. But I hope we can still be friends. I sincerely do. I don't know how possible that would actually be though.

And I am grateful for you. Thank you so very much...for showing me there are more answers to the present. I am so hopeful. :)

2004-08-29T04:28:00.000-07:00

:)

It's been a very lovely weekend. Watched Amelie for...oh, probably the fifth or sixth time and And I Hate You So (horrible translation of a Chinese title) for the second. Went to Tea Station for the umpteenth time for the pickled sour pork rice dish. Lost and found my phone for the billionth embarrassing time. ["Embarrass" is so appropriately spelled; quaintly close to "bare-assed." Sorry, random.] Tomorrow I will see beauteous Bea and she will shop while I attempt to restrain myself from doing the same thing.

Yummy. :)

Time will tell this tale.

* * *
"Just So You Know" -Holly Palmer

(i'm telling you something, i'm telling you something)

tell me, baby, if maybe we could put the top down
the sun is flying so high today (hey, come here, come here, can you hear me now?)
and the shine off your cherry fenders would be too much, but not too much
with your hand reach out, with your mouth shape the phrase and say:

just so you know
just so i know
just so we know we're together
if i can look in your eyes, and see what i feel is real, and i know we're together

oh, with your eyes, look over, with your car, pull over
that's all it's going to take
'cause i have been paying very close attention to your habits

somebody over there at the counter in the diner on the corner in the corner of my mind
wears your face
on a different day i'm someone else too and we disappear together
we fold up and fly away like paper airplanes
we rub each other's creases and
line up each other's angles
and we choose the brightest papers
and we
fly

just so you know
just so i know
just so we know we're together
if i can look in your eyes and see what i feel is real, then i know we're together

we could really take our time, we could really get our shapes just right
and fly off each other into the night
where we land is out of our hands
and so in this way we don't stop
we never stop
we don't stop
we won't stop, baby

just so you know...

2004-08-25T01:55:00.000-07:00

Photo Time

Yes, I know it's been a long time, lovelies. So to make up for my delinquency, I have many [stolen] photos for you. This is going to be one looong blog. Look, I'll even make a nice little table of contents thing for you!

I. Vegas!
II. Dave & Buster's for Amanda's 20th
III. Nanny's Birthday Dinner
IV. Stinking Rose & Cobb's Comedy Club for Amanda [again. Spoiled girl.]
V. The Tragic Story of my TOM CRUISE Adventure

I. Vegas!
Debra, Cherry, Jacquelyn, their boys [okay, David, Mike, and Bobby, respectively], Tim, Paggy, and I all went to Vegas for a few nights. Lots of driving, casinos, Wayne Brady, Rain, 113-degree weather, etc. Refer to debcherjacq's blogs for much better summaries. Paggy and I slept together. Good times.

Short Skirt Day in Vegas. Notice that Debra and Cherry are aaalmost our height...except they're standing on the step above ours. Haha! I love you shorties. ;)

Heh heh heh...Jacq and I were trying to cool down Paggy's face. Yes, that was the result from 1/4 of a teeeensy margarita.

From left to right: Deb is sassy, I'm irresistible, Jacq is red hot, and Paggy is cool.

Paggy and I are hugging the yellow M&M. To state the obvious.

3D glasses at the M&M factory. So hot.

Camels. Even hotter. And I've got both of them!
From left to right: Jacq, Deb, me, Tim, David, Bobby.

The requisite pre-clubbing girl photo. Whoo!

II. Dave & Buster's for Amanda's 20th
Wait, did you read that correctly? Going to Dave & Buster's for a 20th birthday? How is that possible? Oh, it's doable when Amanda becomes a Filipino girl nicknamed Glo, Teresa is Christina Ha [doesn't that sound familiar?], and Elaine is her sister. Disclaimer: I do not condone underaged drinking. Of course not.

The girls for Amanda's birthday: Julia, me, Amanda [necessary], Teresa, Elaine.

Aw. Happy birthday, Amanda. You're my coolest sister. Think about that. :D

Here I am not condoning underaged drinking. That is not an alcoholic drink I just bought Amanda. I don't know what you're talking about.

Background: Teresa and I were trying to take a "sister photo" since she can pass for me a lot better than a certain other sister...but that certain other someone was jealous. I like to call this photo "Retarded Amanda 1."

And here's "Retarded Amanda 2."

Amanda partying. By herself. The end.

III. Nanny's Birthday Dinner
Nanny used to babysit Amanda and me, so we virtually adopted her as our grandma. Her daughter also happens to be our godmother, so it all works out. Nanny is one of the most wonderful people in the world, and she was the first person to introduce me to old-Asian-women-keeping-tissues-up-their-sleeves.

The Ha family with Nanny and my godmother. Amazingly, Brandon hasn't completely ruined this photo.

Ha kids with our godbrother Henry. Boygee!

Ha kids. We look small here. Odd.

IV. Stinking Rose & Cobb's Comedy Club for Amanda [again. Spoiled girl.]
Stinking Rose: so much garlic! So much joy! Damn right we smelled. Then we told Amanda we had a surprise planned for her after dinner. Let's just say we implied 14-year-olds, virgin boys, and strippers were involved. Sadly, we had to disappoint Amanda when we ended up at Cobb's Comedy Club. Dat Phan and Tammy Pescatelli were quite amusing though. I have a great impersonation of Dat Phan's impersonation of his Vietnamese mother exclaiming, "What da heaew?!"

Ha sisters again. Aw again.

Left: Julia, Jennifer, Steph. Right: me, Amanda, Teresa, Elaine. Don't we look normal?

What da heaew?

I think Teresa smells.

Outside Cobb's.

V. The Tragic Story of my TOM CRUISE Adventure
So I sandwiched my Vegas trip with visits to LA. The day before driving to Vegas, I spent time with my shnookums, Michelle. [I made it down to Burbank from Fremont in 4.5 hours. Daaaamn.] The day we went to see Leno's Tonight Show, TOM CRUISE was the guest. [Yes, I will be capitalizing the entire name TOM CRUISE for the rest of this blog.] Let's get this out of the way: TOM CRUISE is insanely charismatic-beautiful-wonderful-hot-hot-hot. Now I was never fanatical about him before, but seeing him in person was eye-opening, spine-tingling, arm-trembling. He looks into your eyes when he shakes your hand. And he tried his best to greet as many people in the audience as possible in two commercial breaks. What a sweetie.

So TOM CRUISE actually shook my right hand. I managed to stammer some sort of request for him to give me his autograph on my NBC visitor's pass, and he graciously signed his name. I sat back down and spent the rest of the show gushing with Michelle and staring at his beauty.

Fine. Great. Show ends, we go our separate ways, but I plan on preserving his signature by laminating the pass before I do something to ruin it. Luckily, I have access to a laminating machine at work. Wonderful! The Fates are with me!

Back at work after Vegas, I remember to bring along the pass, I put it in the laminating plastic and run it through the machine...

And the pass comes out completely BLACK. Freaking pass was heat-sensitive and I ruined it forever. Why did no one tell me this?? Why don't heat-sensitive sticky paper passes come with warnings??

At least I can still slightly make out the impression of TOM CRUISE's autograph when I hold up that black piece of plastic to the light. Utter tragedy.

-
So ends this insanely long entry. Happy that I updated, Amanda? You're stupid. I see you everyday anyway. Haha.

2004-08-01T21:55:00.000-07:00

Adding to the annals of Embarrassing Christina Moments, I fell on my face at work the other day - onto soapy-dirty-mop-water-covered floor. Yes, I was wearing a white shirt that was no longer completely dry nor white afterward. And yes, after I got back up, I fell down again, requiring the aid of some Mexican guy to haul me up and brace me out of the back room.

Did you know that you can develop a nice, big bump on your chin? I sort of assumed a chin would just bruise, but no, I had a huuuge bump slightly to the left on my chin only seconds after impact. It looked great! Really made a statement! Mainly an "I have half of Jay Leno's butt chin" statement.

Fortunately, the bump has receded, leaving a lovely bruise. Now it merely looks as if I spilled food or ink on my chin and have forgotten to wipe. Either that or, as David says, "It looks like you have a Korean boyfriend." Yes, good job alienating the Koreans, buddy. :D

Koreans are my friends. Two of my closest friends from Stanford are Korean; funny since I barely had any Korean friends in high school. Yes, Bea and Michelle, you two are so very cool. And weird. Why else would you be my friends?

I am also writing this in an extreme state of discomfort. I ate way too much tonight. Oh good lord, my stomach wants to kill me. But such good Vietnamese food! Fish sauce and barbecued pork! Oh bliss.

You know what else is delicious? Mojitos at Havana in Walnut Creek. Yum!

This has been a very disjointed message from Christina.

* * *
"Temptation Waits" -Garbage

i'll tell you something
i am a wolf but
i like to wear sheep's clothing

i am a bonfire
i am a vampire
i'm waiting for my moment

you come on like a drug
i just can't get enough
i'm like an addict coming at you for a little more
and there's so much at stake
i can't afford to waste
i never needed anybody like this before

i'll tell you something
i am a demon
some say my biggest weakness
i have my reasons
call it my defense
be careful what you're wishing

you come on like a drug
i just can't get enough
i'm like an addict coming at you for a little more
and there's so much at stake
i can't afford to waste
i never needed anybody like this before

you are a secret
i need possession
i like to keep you guessing

you come on like a drug
i just can't get enough
i'm like an addict coming at you for a little more
and there's so much at stake
i can't afford to waste
i never needed anybody like this before

when i'm not sure what i'm living for
(when i'm not sure who i am)
when i'm not sure what i'm looking for...

2004-07-31T02:17:00.000-07:00

Even though I didn't misspell anything or make glaring errors in my last entry, I sounded pretty damn annoying. So sorry. =P

I hate being disappointed. Blah blah blah.

* * *
"Invisible Ink" -Aimee Mann

there comes a time when you swim or sink
so i jumped in the drink
'cause i couldn't make myself clear
maybe i wrote in invisible ink
oh, i've tried to think
how i could have made it appear

but another illustration is wasted
'cause the results are the same
i feel like a ghost who's trying to move your hands
over some ouija board in the hopes i can spell out my name

what some might take for magic at first glance
is just sleight of hand depending on what you believe
something gets lost when you translate
it's hard to keep straight
perspective is everything

and i know now which is which and what angle i oughta look at it from
i suppose i should be happy to be misread -
better be that than some of the other things i have become

well, nobody wants to hear this tale
the plot is cliche, the jokes are stale
and baby we've all heard it all before
oh i could get specific, but
nobody needs a catalog
with details of love i can't sell anymore

and aside from that, this chain of reaction
baby, is losing a link
though i'd hope you'd know what i try to tell you
and if you don't, i could draw you a picture in invisible ink

but nobody wants to hear this tale
the plot is cliche, the jokes are stale
and baby, we've all heard it all before
oh i could I get specific but
nobody needs a catalogue
with details of love i can't sell anymore

2004-07-30T01:48:00.000-07:00

Maybe I am not absolutely sober right now, but I'm getting close. I promise.

The Chocolate Chippendales were...something I had never witnessed before. That is assured. I wonder if I will ever become old enough or debaunched enough to actually try to tip almost-naked men in their g-strings as they walk by. This is a sad, even more sobering thought.

Anyhow, I am glad for a fun dinner at Glas Kat with my girls and a few guys here and there.

I think I am doing fairly well with the typing-while-not-exactly-sober thing. I do have a secret though: I am using the delete key A LOT. Oh well. No one's perfect.

I wish we had more time to dance at the club after the show, but unfortunately, Tim couldn't hold his liquor. SAD.

All I have to say is: guys sort of suck. This is from experience. If they're not ruining a clubbing night, they're ruining all sorts of other shit. Yadda yadda. I need to become asexual. Sorry, Tim, you're still cool. Just using you as a whipping boy for males in general. Whee!

I've never blogged when not completely sober. Interesting.

Final Note: Shit, I forgot as I was trying to find the end-bracket key thing. Alcohol is evil.

Insert your own favorite angsty song. Whooo!

2004-07-29T01:45:00.000-07:00

Random pictures to follow thanks to Hello. :)

And a big thanks to the wondrous Bea for the chance to see a preview screening of Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. What a great stoner comedy with minority leads. Kal Penn as Kumar is hilaaarious...and John Cho is cute. :D I'm such a sucker for a cute Asian guy. I wonder if the movie would have been more entertaining to see when stoned...hmmm...

Tomorrow night...Chocolate Chippendales? OH MY.

Reenactment of my conversation with Jo -

Jo: when jacq told me about the chocolate chippendales, i didn't see why there would be any problem
Jo: then she asked me if i would be okay with all those black people...
Me: you thought there were going to be strippers serving chocolate, didn't you??
Me: hahahahaha
Jo: yes.

At least Jo forewarned me about Chocolate Chippendale night. If she hadn't...

Jo: haha...you'd be all nudging me and asking
Jo: "psst...jo, why are there all these almost-naked black men at the club?"
Me: "is this...my dream from the other night...?"

:D

* * *
"Flake" -Jack Johnson

i know she said it's all right
but you can make it up next time
i know she knows it's not right
there ain't no use in lyin'
maybe she thinks i know something
maybe, maybe she thinks it's fine
or maybe she knows something i don't
i'm so, i'm so tired, i'm so tired of trying

it seems to me that maybe
it pretty much always means no
so don't tell me you might just let it go
and oftentimes we're lazy
it seems to stand in my way
'cause no one, no, not no one
likes to be let down

i know she loves the sunrise
no longer sees it with her sleeping eyes and
i know that when she said she's gonna try
well, it might not work because of other ties and
i know she usually has some other ties and
i wouldn't want to break 'em, nah, i wouldn't want to break 'em
maybe she'll help me to untie this, but
until then, well, i'm gonna have to lie to you

it seems to me that maybe
it pretty much always means no
so don't tell me you might just let it go
and oftentimes we're lazy
it seems to stand in my way
'cause no one, no, not no one
likes to be let down
it seems to me that maybe
it pretty much always means no
so don't tell me you might just let it go

the harder that you try, baby, the further you'll fall
even with all the money in the whole wide world
please please please don't pass me...by

everything you know about me now, baby, you gonna have to change
you gonna have to call it by a brand new name
please please please don't drag me...down

just like a tree down by the water, baby, i shall not move
even after all the silly things you do
please please please don't drag me...down

2004-07-29T01:44:00.000-07:00

Here I am on the cruise ship with Amanda. Yes, Ha sisters are so sexy in black.

2004-07-29T01:43:00.000-07:00

And a picture of my brother just because he can be so darn cute...when he's not being a brat. "Where are you going?" "You can't buy that! You don't have anymore money!" "It's my turn!" "Don't come downstairs because my friends are coming over!" "Stop drinking!"

2004-07-29T00:40:00.000-07:00

Some MSJ girls recently up in Davis visiting the lovely Jo. Good good times.

2004-07-29T00:38:00.000-07:00

Cherry was...not quite sober. Shhhh ;)

2004-07-29T00:35:00.000-07:00

Hahaha...remember this, MSJ buddies? What a beauteous backdrop we made...too bad James chewed up the scenery during the skit. literally. ;)

2004-07-29T00:32:00.000-07:00

Aww, how cute. This was me and Michelle getting all dandied up for...I can't remember what. But hey, you can see my shoes in the background! How exotic.

2004-07-25T16:47:00.000-07:00

Since I fully realize I am a big geek, it should come as no surprise that I finally fell to the bolding-book-list thingie. Bold the titles you've read, etc. etc.

Beowulf
Achebe, Chinua - Things Fall Apart
Agee, James - A Death in the Family
Austen, Jane - Pride and Prejudice [SIGHSIGHSIGH. Daaaarcy.]
Baldwin, James - Go Tell It on the Mountain
Beckett, Samuel - Waiting for Godot
Bellow, Saul - The Adventures of Augie March
Brontë, Charlotte - Jane Eyre
Brontë, Emily - Wuthering Heights
Camus, Albert - The Stranger
Cather, Willa - Death Comes for the Archbishop
Chaucer, Geoffrey - The Canterbury Tales
Chekhov, Anton - The Cherry Orchard
Chopin, Kate - The Awakening
Conrad, Joseph - Heart of Darkness
Cooper, James Fenimore - The Last of the Mohicans
Crane, Stephen - The Red Badge of Courage
Dante - Inferno
de Cervantes, Miguel - Don Quixote
Defoe, Daniel - Robinson Crusoe
Dickens, Charles - A Tale of Two Cities [The real accomplishment is reading his other novels.]
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor - Crime and Punishment
Douglass, Frederick - Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass
Dreiser, Theodore - An American Tragedy
Dumas, Alexandre - The Three Musketeers
Eliot, George - The Mill on the Floss
Ellison, Ralph - Invisible Man
Emerson, Ralph Waldo - Selected Essays
Faulkner, William - As I Lay Dying
Faulkner, William - The Sound and the Fury
Fielding, Henry - Tom Jones
Fitzgerald, F. Scott - The Great Gatsby
Flaubert, Gustave - Madame Bovary
Ford, Ford Madox - The Good Soldier
Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von - Faust
Golding, William - Lord of the Flies [Sucks to your ass-mar!]
Hardy, Thomas - Tess of the d'Urbervilles [um...how about The Mayor of Casterbridge?]
Hawthorne, Nathaniel - The Scarlet Letter
Heller, Joseph - Catch 22
Hemingway, Ernest - A Farewell to Arms
Homer - The Iliad
Homer - The Odyssey
Hugo, Victor - The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Hurston, Zora Neale - Their Eyes Were Watching God
Huxley, Aldous - Brave New World
Ibsen, Henrik - A Doll's House
James, Henry - The Portrait of a Lady
James, Henry - The Turn of the Screw
Joyce, James - A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Kafka, Franz - The Metamorphosis
Kingston, Maxine Hong - The Woman Warrior
Lee, Harper - To Kill a Mockingbird
Lewis, Sinclair - Babbitt
London, Jack - The Call of the Wild
Mann, Thomas - The Magic Mountain
Marquez, Gabriel García - One Hundred Years of Solitude
Melville, Herman - Bartleby the Scrivener
Melville, Herman - Moby Dick
Miller, Arthur - The Crucible
Morrison, Toni - Beloved
O'Connor, Flannery - A Good Man is Hard to Find
O'Neill, Eugene - Long Day's Journey into Night
Orwell, George - Animal Farm
Pasternak, Boris - Doctor Zhivago
Plath, Sylvia - The Bell Jar
Poe, Edgar Allan - Selected Tales
Proust, Marcel - Swann's Way
Pynchon, Thomas - The Crying of Lot 49
Remarque, Erich Maria - All Quiet on the Western Front
Rostand, Edmond - Cyrano de Bergerac
Roth, Henry - Call It Sleep
Salinger, J.D. - The Catcher in the Rye
Shakespeare, William - Hamlet
Shakespeare, William - Macbeth
Shakespeare, William - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Shakespeare, William - Romeo and Juliet
Shaw, George Bernard - Pygmalion
Shelley, Mary - Frankenstein
Silko, Leslie Marmon - Ceremony
Solzhenitsyn, Alexander - One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
Sophocles - Antigone
Sophocles - Oedipus Rex
Steinbeck, John - The Grapes of Wrath
Stevenson, Robert Louis - Treasure Island
Stowe, Harriet Beecher - Uncle Tom's Cabin
Swift, Jonathan - Gulliver's Travels
Thackeray, William - Vanity Fair
Thoreau, Henry David - Walden [sitting on a pumpkin!]
Tolstoy, Leo - War and Peace
Turgenev, Ivan - Fathers and Sons
Twain, Mark - The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Voltaire - Candide
Vonnegut, Kurt Jr. - Slaughterhouse-Five
Walker, Alice - The Color Purple
Wharton, Edith - The House of Mirth
Welty, Eudora - Collected Stories
Whitman, Walt - Leaves of Grass
Wilde, Oscar - The Picture of Dorian Gray
Williams, Tennessee - The Glass Menagerie
Woolf, Virginia - To the Lighthouse
Wright, Richard - Native Son

2004-07-25T03:28:00.000-07:00

I've been working at my cousins' supermarket in San Jose. Although the original Lucky 7 Supermarket is an Asian store, the second branch on Tully mainly targets Mexicans.

So after about 7-8 straight hours spent in that store, not only do I smell like stale recycled supermarket air, there's also a tinge of Mexican food clinging to me also. Sweeeet. "Well, you know I've always liked supermarkets, and I'm down with the Mexicans too!" Hahaha...thanks, Mike.

Saw I, Robot - entertaining. Will Smith is huuuuge [but in an oh-so-good way ;) ]. Now I want to read Asimov's I, Robot. I figure reading it afterward is the best sequence to enjoy both the movie and collection of shorts stories since the book is almost always better.

Besides, I cannot fully become the sci-fi geek girl until I've read Asimov, eh? At least Gibson's Neuromancer is almost under my belt. Cyber punk geeky! Yeah!

-
I hate having a good mood ruined. The drop is so much more dramatic...and all those unhappy thoughts come. Ugh. It's all rather hopeless, huh? Nothing's ever quite right.

Oh well. Chug chug.

The song below is so absolutely angsty. Ah, 10 Things I Hate About You, that great high school favorite :)

* * *
"The Weakness in Me" -Joan Armatrading

i'm not the sort of person who falls in and quickly out of love
but to you i gave my affection right from the start
i have a lover who loves me, how could i break such a heart?
yet still you get my attention

why do you come here when you know i've got troubles enough?
why do you call me when you know i can't answer the phone?
make me lie when i don't want to
and make someone else some kind of an unknowing fool
you make me stay when i should not
are you so strong or is all the weakness in me?

why do you come here and pretend to be just passing by?
when i mean to see you
and i mean to hold you
tightly

feeling guilty, worried, waking from tormented sleep
this old love has me bound, but the new love cuts deep
if i choose now, i'll lose out, one of you has to fall
and i need you
and you

why do you come here when you know i've got troubles enough?
why do you call me when you know i can't answer the phone?
make me lie when i don't want to
and make someone else some kind of an unknowing fool
you make me stay when i should not
are you so strong or is all the weakness in me?

why do you come here and pretend to be just passing by?
when i mean to see you
and i mean to hold you
tightly

2004-07-21T02:26:00.000-07:00

My hands smell like onions. Hm. I wonder what would be worse: having my hands smell like onions or garlic?

I recently introduced Tina to Pepper Lunch, Dave to Fantasia, and Bea to Chinese checkers. I'm so glad I had the chance to help y'all out - and that I saw Cathy, Des, Mo, Claudia, and Jess for even those fairly brief moments. Verde just calls out to all KDPhi ;)

-
Life has been throwing a few curveballs lately. My 99-year-old grandma was in the hospital for a few days, and it was a bit worrying. Of course she's old, but she's been around for so long - wouldn't it be nice to keep a few more constants in the world? But no, the only thing constant in this world is change. [Yes, so trite.] Feeling helpless just isn't very pleasant though. At least she's at home and in much better shape now. She's still in fairly amazing health for a woman born in 1905, with bound feet, no less.

And memories are inevitable when stepping into those sterile walls. It was so simple to remember the other time of regular visits to those exact same waiting rooms. I'm glad of not-forgetting, even as I am grateful for the softening of time. We stilll miss you.

The what-ifs are so tempting to contemplate.

* * *
"Shiver" -Maroon 5

you build me up
you knock me down
provoke a smile
and make me frown
you are the queen of runaround
you know it's true

you chew me up
and spit me out
enjoy the taste
i leave in your mouth
you look at me
i look at you
neither of us know what to do

there may not
be another way to your heart
so i guess i'd better find a new way in
i shiver when i hear your name
think about you, but it's not the same
i won't be satisfied ‘til i'm under your skin

immobilized by the thought of you
paralyzed by the sight of you
hypnotized by the words you say
not true but i believe ‘em anyway

so come to bed, it's getting late
there's no more time for us to waste
remember how my body tastes
you feel your heart begin to race

there may not
be another way to your heart
so i guess i'd better find a new way in
i shiver when i hear your name
think about you, but it's not the same
i won't be satisfied ‘til i'm under your skin

feel your heart begin to race...

2004-07-21T02:24:00.001-07:00

The Lam and Ha kids with little Yo-Yo! :)

2004-07-21T02:24:00.000-07:00

My family in front of the Lams' house in Houston

2004-07-16T03:56:00.000-07:00

sometimes i bruise too easily.

i'll only let you see the physical ones though.

wouldn't it all be simpler with a clean slate?
i think i've run out of room
someone erase me.

* * *
"Nothing Is Good Enough" -Aimee Mann

once upon a time
is how it always goes
but i'll make it brief
what was started out
with such excitement
now I'd gladly end with relief
in what now has become a familiar motif:

that nothing is good enough
for people like you
who have to have someone
take the fall
and something to sabotage -
determined to lose it all

critics at their worst
could never criticize
the way that you do
no, there's no one else, i find,
to undermine or dash a hope
quite like you
and you do it so casually too

'cause nothing is good enough
for people like you
who have to have someone
take the fall
and something to sabotage -
determined to lose it all

ladies and gentlemen -
here's exhibit A
didn't i try again?
and did the effort pay?
wouldn't a smarter man
simply walk away?

it doesn't really help
that you can never say
what you're looking for
but you'll know it when you hear it
know it when you see it
walk through the door
so you say -
so you've said many times before

but nothing is good enough
for people like you
who have to have someone
take the fall
and something to sabotage -
determined to lose it all

2004-07-12T11:15:00.000-07:00

I hung out with Jenbutt tonight. :) It's been a while, fellow geekgirl. I am officially her go-to girl for all geeky pursuits, especially when related to books. Verde tea and a screening of the ENTIRE A&E Pride and Prejudice miniseries made us sooo very happy. :D Not many people can relate with me on this particular level...I will miss you very much when you're all the way in Japan, Jen. :(

Watching Pride and Prejudice also inspires two intense feelings:
1) inevitable urge to reread any and all Jane Austen novels for pure witty genius and
2) a deep yearning to find my own Mr. Darcy.

Goddamnit.

Number 2 is even more discouraging when I realize Darcy's outward emotional impassivity is insanely attractive to me. There just seems to be so much going on inside. Sigh. And Darcy is just so honorable and intelligent and dashing and handsome and Elizabeth knows his love for her means so much more because the depth of feeling for her is so rare for him. SIGH. SIGHSIGHSIGHSIGHSIGH. I AM SO LAME. Such a sucker for those stoic, honorable, manly men [Kouda from "Good Luck!" too!].

In reality though, the preference for the above means I am inclined to like emotionally monochromatic/stunted men.

Goddamnit Part II.

* * *
"Eric's Song" -Vienna Teng

strange how you know inside me
I measure the time and I stand amazed
strange how I know inside you
my hand is outstretched toward the damp of the haze

and of course I forgive
I've seen how you live
like a phoenix you rise from the ashes
you pick up the pieces
and the ghosts in the attic
they never quite leave
and of course I forgive
you've seen how I live
I've got darkness and fears to appease
my voices and analogies
ambitions like ribbons
worn bright on my sleeve

strange how we know each other

strange how I fit into you
there's a distance erased with the greatest of ease
strange how you fit into me
a gentle warmth filling the deepest of needs

and with each passing day
the stories we say
draw us tighter into our addiction
confirm our conviction
that some kind of miracle
passed on our heads
and how I am sure
like never before
of my reasons for defying reason
embracing the seasons
we dance through the colors
both followed and led

strange how we fit each other

strange how certain the journey
time unfolds the petals for our eyes to see
strange how this journey's hurting
in ways we accept as part of fate's decree

so we just hold on fast
acknowledge the past
as lessons exquisitely crafted
painstakingly drafted
to carve us as instruments
that play the music of life
for we don't realize
our faith in the prize
unless it's been somehow elusive
how swiftly we choose it
the sacred simplicity
of you at my side

2004-07-12T00:44:00.000-07:00

And I'm back - a little tanner, a little more tired, having eaten a LOT more food.

Cozumel, Mexico - Isla Mujeres; beautiful beaches, lovely shopping, open bar: who could ask for more?

Roatan, Honduras - van sightseeing tour, iguana farm, quiet beach, throwing Brandon into the Caribbean multiple times

Belize - jungle trek in stupid sandals that kept twisting off my feet in the mud, CAVE TUBING! Mom incapable of grasping the physics of innertube-paddling, finally hooking her feet under my tube and having me haul her the rest of the way down through the caves

Cancun - ultimate resort, air-conditioned mall [Yes, we cheated.]

M/S Norwegian Sea - sturdy ship with [perhaps overly] friendly staff, tiny ass cabins, lots of white Texans, plenty of good food [mmm...the number of medium-rare slabs of beef I consumed...], and the CHOCOHOLIC BUFFET

Everywhere on the trip - hot and humid as hell. Well, maybe hell would be less humid.

Mom Vocabulary:
kai-ACK-ee - kayak
ar-KAI-yee - arcade
ja-COO-chee - jacuzzi

Brandon Vocabulary:
hasta hasta, bengola, balam saday, be-quay - i have no idea.

Final note: I can't imagine that many things more pleasurable than eating as many chocolate-covered strawberries as possible. Oh god. The memory!

* * *
"Wheel" -John Mayer

people have the right to fly
and will when it gets compromised
their hearts say, "move along"
their minds say, "gotcha heart"
"let's move it along"

and airports see it all the time
where someone's last goodbye
blends in with someone's sigh
'cause someone's coming home
in hand a single rose

and that's the way this wheel keeps working now
that's the way this wheel keeps working now
and i won't be the last
no, i won't be the last
to love her

you can't build a house of leaves
and live like it's an evergreen
it's just a season thing
it's just this thing that seasons do

and that's the way this wheel keeps working now
that's the way this wheel keeps working now
and you won't be the first
no, you won't be the first
to love me

you can find me
if you ever want again
i'll be around the bend
i'll be around the bend
i'll be around

and if you never stop when you wave goodbye
you just might find if you give it time
you will wave hello again
you just might wave hello again

and that's the way this wheel keeps working now
that's the way this wheel keeps working now

you can't love too much one part of it
you can't love too much one part of it

i believe that my life's gonna see
the love i give returned to me...

2004-07-01T23:02:00.000-07:00

So there I am, watching Spider-man 2 with David and Karin at the Metreon, there are only about 15 minutes more of running time, __(name)__ is __(gerund verb)__ __(name)__ at the climax of the movie when -- SCREEECH -- the fire alarm goes off, the movie cuts out, and the audience is in shock. OH MY GOD. They DID NOT just do that. WHAT will happen?? What was going to be said?? NOOOOO!!! The evacuation of the building was accompanied by quotes such as, "I'd BETTER see some flames!"

But yes, we ended up watching the end after they restarted. Woohoo! And I agree with Ebert, definitely the best superhero movie I've ever seen. This may be because most superhero movies are crap [Batman & Robin, anyone? Daredevil? No? Good.], but it was just a great action movie anyway. Great special effects, and the dialogue was much improved over the last movie. I recommend it. Yes, go feed the Spider-man box office monster. :)

A light dinner at First Crush in SF before the showing was wonderful too. Mmm...seared ahi tuna and duck comfit. Magnificent! Thanks, David the Degenerate I-Banker, for treating the two unemployed people since I know you'll read this. Haha. Good times.

Also, I will be gone for a bit over a week after this Saturday. Family cruise from Houston to the west Caribbean - cheesily labeled "Texaribbean" by the cruise company. How cute. But yes, I am excited, and yes, you should be jealous. ;)

Yet once again, the Ha family will miss the Fourth of July at home. No fireworks, no friendly barbecues...sigh. I don't think our Planner of Vacations [aka Mommy] is particularly patriotic. Haha. Ah well. Miss me lots because that makes me feel loved. :)

Yes, it is a little odd that I decided to use correct capitalization in this entry, but it's my blog and I felt like it. Maybe I'm gradually becoming even more anal than before. You should have seen me relabeling everything in iTunes. =\ Uh-oh...I feel such pity for everyone if that is the case. :)

* * *
can you see me
floating above your head?
as you lay in bed
thinking about everything
that you did not do
'cause saying 'i love you'
has nothing to do with meaning it

and i don't trust you
'cause everytime you're here
your intentions are unclear
i spend every hour waiting for a phone call
that i know will never come
i used to think you were the one
now i'm sick of thinking anything at all

you ain't ever coming back to me
that's not how things were supposed to be
you take my hand just to give it back
no other lover has ever done that

do you remember
the way we used to melt?
do you remember how it felt
when i touched you? oh
'cause i remember it very well

and how long has it been
since someone you let in
has given what i gave to you?
and at night when you sleep
do you dream i would be there
just for a minute or two, do you?