it is hot right now. i wish i were all alone so i could just strip and be cooler. =)

angst is fun when it's not your own. it's so fun to feel that little tweak in your chest when you read or watch something that makes you sympathize and yearn a little. the best part is that it's not your own angst so that small anxiety, the tiny pang of pain leaves once you've placed the book down or turned off the television. a risk-free reminder that you're still alive. when you feel it for yourself, though, the little pain becomes an ache and you don't quite know if you want it anymore. how did it get there? why do we put ourselves through this? sometimes i think it would be nice to be able to hide and stop feeling--except vicariously. it's so much safer to read a book or watch a movie or listen to a friend.

haha...and i just advised my friend to stop hiding and brave a little risk last night. i don't think i'll ever win an argument with myself. i take so much convincing. really, it's very tiring and scary for me to make a decision. the whole trying-to-be-open-minded thing usually results in a whole lot of doubt. ah well.

i have a presentation at work tomorrow. i'd better know what i'm going to be talking about.

* * *
"Walk on" ~U2

and love is not the easy thing
the only baggage you can bring...
and love is not the easy thing...
the only baggage you can bring
is all that you can't leave behind

and if the darkness is to keep us apart
and if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
and if your glass heart should crack
and for a second you turn back
oh no, be strong

walk on, walk on
what you got they can't steal it
no they can't even feel it
walk on, walk on...
stay safe tonight

you're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
a place that has to be believed to be seen
you could have flown away
a singing bird in an open cage
who will only fly, only fly for freedom

walk on, walk on
what you've got they can't deny it
can't sell it, can't buy it
walk on, walk on
stay safe tonight

and i know it aches
and your heart it breaks
and you can only take so much
walk on, walk on

Home... hard to know what it is if you've never had one
Home... i can't say where it is but i know i'm going home
that's where the hurt is

i know it aches
how your heart it breaks
and you can only take so much
walk on, walk on

leave it behind
you've got to leave it behind
all that you fashion
all that you make
all that you build
all that you break
all that you measure
all that you steal
all this you can leave behind
all that you reason
all that you sense
all that you speak
all you dress up
all that you scheme...