some people are amazing compliment-givers. that's what i want to be. no matter how many or few compliments they give, each one sounds completely sincere and selfless--and each one has the power to brighten a person's day =) there actually aren't that many great compliment-givers out there...some are too reluctant to give too many compliments for various reasons (like me maybe) or some compliment others ad nauseum and there's just no way you can believe the compliment is genuine. perhaps it's a delicate balance, but i think it's mostly in the demeanor and whether the giver actually means it. i need to learn to be more free with my compliments and spread the love =)

i haven't been able to make up my own mind as to whether i'm an optimist or a pessimist. i think in general, i'm fairly optimistic, but at the same time i try to be realistic...and face it, that generally means you're pessimistic. it's a difficult equilibrium because if you view everything pessimistically, then what is there to live for? but at the same time, i'm not going to be some ditz who blindly lives life believing everything will be peachy just because. i can't stand either extreme...being pessimistic is just depressing and logically there always is the chance that things will work out for the better...but eternally living in the silver lining stikes me as stupid, cowardly, and self-delusional. i admit to committing plenty of self-delusion every now and then though; it gives that extra push of faith that you need to succeed sometimes. there are times when making yourself believe that you will succeed makes it manifest while pessimists wouldn't even bother trying in the first place. at the same time, i always try to temper my ambitions with the reality that they're also likely to not succeed. it's always graygraygray. sometimes i get tired of this gray and want everything to be clear-cute, black & white, simple--but i know that's not possible. there's always the other side of the story and your mind's resolution never seems as neat as you'd like. bah. sorry, random tangent from reading a friend's profile.

in other news, i have a whole ton of gel in my hair today. jason said i'm like a guy now cuz my hair only looks good if i gel it =P this may be true because i think my ungelled hair makes me look like an ugly elf. i'm also hair-bipolar now--sometimes i think my new hairdo is cute, other times i think i look like a boy. so i've been wearing more lipstick to reassure myself that i really do look like a girl. gotta love my logic.

new wallpaper: daniel wu