crying is so cleansing. as long as i'm not crying in front of others because i'm all repressed like that.

books can make me cry. there's something so touching about words that can affect you so much. movies...well, you're dependent on the images already provided for you. don't get me wrong, i can definitely bawl at certain movies too, but on one level it's odd to be crying for ewan mcgregor's acting rather than a character you help build in your mind. i like the idea of crying for someone who doesn't actually exist.

thus i like books that make me cry. easier to momentarily cleanse yourself of stress or angst or negative feelings without actually having to face them or having others see you cry and haplessly be embarrassed.

things that have made me cry recently: reading angst culminating in happy endings, big fish, re-reading ender's game, billy elliot

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now i'm trying to decide whether to re-post the lyrics to something corporate's "konstantine" because they move me, or post the lyrics of the postal service's "nothing better" because they amuse me. what will it be? ooh...scroll down and see. exciting! [although no one should really care but me.]

i really didn't mean to make so much of that rhyme. i am so lame. :(

* * *
"Konstantine" -Something Corporate

i can't imagine all the people that you know
and the places that you go when the lights are turned down low
and i don't understand all the things you've seen
but i'm slipping in between
you and your big dreams
it's always you in my big dreams

and you tell me that it's over
wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clovers
and you're restless and i'm naked
you've gotta get out, you can't stand to see me shaking, no
could you let me go?
i didn't think so

and you don't wanna be here in the future
so you say the present's just a pleasant interruption to the past
and you don't wanna look much closer
'cause you're afraid to find out all this hope
you had sent into the sky by now had crashed
and it did - because of me

and then you bring me home
afraid to find out that you're alone
and i'm sleeping in your living room
but we don't have much room
to live

i had these dreams and then i learned to play guitar
maybe cross the country, become a rock star
and there was hope in me that i could take you there
but dammit you're so young, well i don't think i care
and if i hurt you, then i'm sorry
please don't think that this was easy

and then you'd bring me home
'cause we both know what it's like to be alone
and i'm dreaming in your living room
but we don't have much room
to live

and Konstantine is walking down the stairs
doesn't she look good standing in her underwear?
and i was thinking what i was thinking
we've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere

my Konstantine came walking down the stairs
and all that i could do is touch her long blonde hair
and i've been thinking
it hurts me thinking that these nights when we were drinking
no, they never got us anywhere

this is because i can spell konfusion with a k and i can like it
it's to dying in another's arms and why i had to try it
it's to jimmy eat world and those nights in my car
when the first star you see may not be a star - "i'm not your star"
isn't that what you said? what you thought this song meant?

and if this is what it takes just to lie with my mistakes
and live with what i did to you and all the hell i put you through
i always catch the clock, it's 11:11 and now you want to talk
it's not hard to dream, you'll always be my Konstantine
Konstantine, they'll never hurt you like i do
no, they'll never hurt you like i do

this is to a girl who got into my head with all the pretty things she did
hey, you know you keep me up in bed
this is to a girl who got into my head with all these fucked up things i did
hey, maybe, baby, you could keep me up in bed
my Konstantine
spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen
and i said, "did you know i missed you?
oh god, i miss you"

and then you bring me home
and we go to sleep, but this time not alone, no no
and you'll kiss me in your living room
i know you'll miss me in your living room
'cause these nights i think maybe that i miss you in my living room
we don't have much room
i said, does anybody need that room?
because we all need a little more room
to live

my Konstantine