Okay, I just can't help myself.

The following news story is just so intriguing, so multi-layered...

Feds Pounce on Student Dressed as a Ninja

ATHENS, Ga. - Running through the University of Georgia campus as a ninja can elicit a prompt response from authorities [1], a UGA sophomore learned.

Federal Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearm agents, on campus for a community training project, detained Jeremiah Ransom of Macon Tuesday as a "suspicious individual" when they spotted a masked figure darting near the Georgia Center [2].

Ransom told The Red & Black student newspaper that he had left a Wesley Foundation pirate vs. ninja event [3] when he was snared by agents with guns drawn.

"It was surreal," Ransom said. "I was jogging from Wesley to Snelling (cafeteria) when I heard someone yell 'freeze.'" At first, he thought a friend was playing a joke.

University Police Chief Jimmy Williamson said Ransom was released as soon as he was found to have violated no laws.

Vanessa McLemore, the ATF special agent in charge, said agents thought something was amiss when they "noticed someone wearing a bandanna across the face and acting in a somewhat suspicious manner, peeping around the corner" then breaking into a run.

Williamson said Ransom was wearing black sweat pants and an athletic T-shirt with one red bandanna covering the bottom half of his face and another covering the top of his head.

This raises SO MANY questions:

[1] Why would a federal officer believe a serious criminal would dress like a ninja?

[2] Why is a supposedly half-educated college student ACTING LIKE A NINJA?

[3] Ohhhhh, it was a PIRATE VS NINJA EVENT. Um...what exactly happens at a pirate vs ninja event?

[4] Why wasn't Stanford cool enough to have a pirate vs. ninja event?

Some questions may never be answered. Except for #2.

This has been a glimpse into the deep thoughts that occupy my mind all day, every day.