what follows is a completely pointless recounting of a dream i actually remember for once. very odd, but people with odd senses of humor may find it amusing. or maybe you can try to analyze it for me. haha!

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i had a dream. i had a dream i really had to pee.

so there i was eating at this diner with some friends when the urge strikes. i walk up to the hostess to politely inquire about restrooms.

"sorry, hon, but we've had budget cuts and the nearest ones aren't open anymore," she replies. then she points down a dark corridor. "try the ones down that hall."

walking down this decidedly creepy hallway, i notice that this half of the diner has been fashioned after a run-down haunted house. mummies, coffins, swamp, bats, the whole bit. splendid. i finally reach the women's room at the end of the hall, open the door, and...

the bathroom is the most horrible one i have ever seen. maybe the budget cuts mean no one ever cleans the bathroom and management decided the look went with the haunted house decor--it definitely would have scared the shit out of anyone. all the toilets in the stalls are clogged, brown shit is everywhere, and things are on the floor that shouldn't be on the floor. the only unclogged toilet is one on a pedestal right outside the stalls, except this one has green sludge climbing over the toilet seat and also looks big enough for two very large women named bertha and eartha. everything is so disgusting, i just cannot use the facilities, but my bladder is crying. release me, release me! oh, the pain!

my body is in the deepest despair when i suddenly awaken...

and i realize i still have to pee.