cycles. everything seems to go in cycles although the faces may change, the words may differ, or we just get older. so there we are, spinning around and around in slightly different orbits each time, with nothing to hold onto except our ideals.

looks like another turn of the wheel coming up. nice, by-the-book so far...too bad about the smoking. we'll see how long this one lasts. wouldn't it be just amazing to stay somewhere for a while?

i was talking to a friend the other day about romantic comedies and we disagreed about whether amelie can qualify as one. i said yes, he said no. i remember having laughed and leaving each viewing with the biggest smile on my face since the girl and guy are happily together in the end--how is that not a romantic comedy? yet there was a good point about how amelie was full of little tragedies, a vein of sad seriousness, things the "typical" romantic comedy wouldn't possess. i realized that's true, but that's what made amelie that much better for me. it didn't flinch from some of the cruelties of life while still seeming uplifting. life is full of angsty, sad, unfair moments, and full of little quirks you can laugh at too.

uh, there was a point to that paragraph. except i seem to have forgotten it. damn distractions. sometimes everything inside twists so much that even my teeth ache. i hate that. is it being sensitive? maybe about certain things...but what really matters most of the time is how you act upon your feelings anyway. and in that case, i might even be callous.

* * *
"A Sorta Fairytale" -Tori Amos

on my way up north
up on the ventura
i pulled back the hood
and i was talking to you
and i knew then it would be
a life long thing
but i didn't know that we
we could break a silver lining

and i'm so sad
like a good book
i can't put this day back
a sorta fairytale with you
a sorta fairytale with you

things you said that day
up on the 101
the girl had come undone
i tried to downplay it
with a bet about us
you said that you'd take it
as long as i could
i could not erase it

and i'm so sad
like a good book
i can't put this day back
a sorta fairytale with you
a sorta fairytale with you

and i ride alongside
and i rode alongside you then
and i rode alongside
till you lost me there in the open road
and i rode alongside
till the honey spread itself so thin
for me to break your bread
for me to take your word
i had to steal it

way up north i took my day
all in all was a pretty nice day
and i put the hood right back where
you could taste heaven perfectly
feel out the summer breeze
didn't know when we'd be back and i
i don't, didn't think
we'd end up like this

and i'm so sad
like a good book
i can't put this day back
a sorta fairytale with you
a sorta fairytale with you
i could pick back up whenever i feel