beyond the margins: a week for women begins next week...come by :) lots of work and dedication have gone into it. you can talk about gender and queer issues; listen to yuri kochiyama, famous asian american female activist; ask men those questions you've always wanted to ask; learn how arts and activism can be intertwined; and watch a showcase of female talent. theresa, my freestylin' old high school buddy will be performing! damn, why would you want to miss out? ;)

so i had my period last week. the worst ever. i have primary dysmenorrhea. it is unpleasant. i told bea i was considering birth control to preclude future bouts of agonizing pain, nausea, and vomiting. she said, "you? go on birth control? that means you're going to start having sex!" yes, great logic, bea ;) then we had some mad cow stew...i mean, pho :)

i went waltzing this past weekend. [thanks for inviting me, charles :) ] i've missed social dance. i love waltzing, spinning around and around until i'm completely dizzy and my feet barely touch the ground. i like dancing with a perfect stranger, but knowing exactly how to move because of a subtle movement here and a bit of pressure there.

then i went to screw your roommate the next night with michelle (yes, she was my date). we ditched after 20 minutes and went to sigma nu in our dresses. i was reminded that i am old. random grinding does not impress me, and i was tired by 1 am. good lord!

feeling sort of off these days. i want to say that i don't feel like myself, but i don't know if that's true or not either. maybe what i felt before was merely a phase and now i'm returning back to normal? who knows what normal is if that "phase" was really long? maybe the phase was normal. maybe i should shut up.

i miss some people. i should do something about that. but maybe i shouldn't in some cases. confused and ambivalent.

i woke up the other morning with "masterpiece" by atlantic starr stuck in my head. i found a masterpiece in you, a work of art, it's true...and i treasure you, my love... hahaha, so thoroughly random. i'm sure i haven't heard that song in years...although it's classic K101. and corny as hell. there's a veeery thin line between corny and touching. there should be a caution sign next to it.

* * *
"Enough to go by" -Vienna Teng

i'm at your back door
with the earth of a hundred nations in my skin
you won't recognize me
for the light in my eyes is strange
it was years ago, god knows
when you strained to tell me your whole truth
that you were not mine to save
that you could not change

would it be enough to go by
if we could sail on the wind in the dark?
cut those chains in the middle of the night
that had you pulled apart
would it be enough to go by
if there's moonlight pulling the tide?
would it be enough to live on
if my love could keep you alive?

i've built a lot of castles
built a lot of blazing speed-of-light machines
but it doesn't matter, you know
they all crumble in the winds of change
so i turned back to breathing
i learned a few good reasons to cry
and i finally called home
praying you weren't out of range

carry the weight
i'll carry the weight of you, i swear
carry the weight
i'll carry the weight of you

so will you let me come in?
the mosquitoes have found me
and they're crowding 'round my blood
at least offer me a drink
or a breaking of the ice
i'm wanting your anger
i only want to see if i can shake you out of sleep
and bring you out under this flooded sky
at any price

so carry the weight
carry the weight of me in your heart
carry the weight
carry the weight of me