so last night i was supposed to go out after another exciting full-length practice mcat. blahblah plans fell through and guess what i did with my night...

i read a book. yessireebob, that is what chrispy was up to on a saturday night. i just got so lazy. and some people are too young. ahem ahem. anyway, that's pretty much representative of my summer. been rather hermit-y. like a crab.

today i dragged jacq out with me to this taiwanese festival thing that my little brother was supposed to compete in...except he didn't. so we spent the afternoon walking around in sweltering 100+ degree weather for essentially no reason. it was full of athletic games and such...with asian people competing. now i don't want to bash my own race, but honestly, if you were on the lower edge of decent at a particular event, you were guaranteed to win with flying colors at these games. not many competitors actually looked ah...particularly athletic. out of the males, i mean. [sorry, i don't check out the girls too carefully.]

however, there was this one shotputter...holy mother of pearl, hotness! topless yummy body with ridges in all the right places, cute smile, cut biceps the size of my quads probably...dreamy sigh. i think i shocked jacquelyn with my amazingly honed guy-radar. i noticed the same shotput-guy playing volleyball hundreds of yards away through at least two fences. haha. hey, when you've been single as long as me, you develop some skills.

anyway, jacq and i had a nice little talk too. [not much else to do while you're sweating your vital fluids out.] she mentioned that i'm picky. picky! my immediate reaction was to say, "no way." then i thought about it...she may have a point. i always thought i tried to get to know guys beyond the first impression without being unrealistically demanding in what i want in a significant other and my didn't-quite-happen relationships were not my fault...but maybe i'm on crack. have i been single for so long because i'm too picky and end things or make them end long before anything serious happens when i'm slightly unsatisfied? beats me. it's difficult to ever completely know people's motives--even your own.

dido has a new single out, "white flag"...pretty song, pretty voice. since i am all about the lyrics, i've been listening...and they make me sad. they're all heart-wringing and angsty. but i like feeling others' angst. haha. i can imagine someone acting as though they've moved on because it's what's best for the other person...even though she still loves him. awww. in the chick flick post-song version, he'd realize the error in his ways and she would take him back and they'd live in "happily ever after" written in fancy cursive script. awww again. except in the real life version, she really will get over him sooner or later...or i guess he just wouldn't want her back. i prefer to envision the former rather than the latter.

* * *
"White Flag" -Dido

i know you think that i shouldn't still love you
i'll tell you that
but if i didn't say it
well i'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

i promise i'm not trying to make your life harder
or return to where we were

well i will go down with this ship
and i won't put my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag above my door
i'm in love and always will be

i know i left too much mess
and destruction to come back again
and i caused but nothing but trouble
i understand if you can't talk to me again
and if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then i'm sure that that makes sense

well i will go down with this ship
and i won't put my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag above my door
i'm in love and always will be

and when we meet
as i'm sure we will
all that was then
will be there still
i'll let it pass
and hold my tongue
and you will think
that i've moved on

well i will go down with this ship
and i won't put my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag above my door
i'm in love and always will be....