time passes so quickly.

in a period of deep wanting. there just...isn't enough. of so many different things. i'm tired of so much.

you know that whole playing-hard-to-get deal? as a fairly straightforward person, i'd like to think that's a load of bullshit; life would be simpler if people knew what others wanted. no confusion, no drama, a straight line is the most direct route from point A to point B. unfortunately, the hard-to-get strategy also seems to work in a lot of cases. most people are intrigued by what they cannot have--ooh, forbidden fruit! ooh, someone who doesn't like me! there are those little elements of challenge and pridefulness: if they don't want me now, i'll make them want me. either that or only the inner yearning increases. that sucks. if only we had enough willpower to control our feelings and stick to things that will be "good" for us...always easier said than done, eh?

this guy i once dated a bit has a girlfriend now. they look very happy together :) i'm happy for him too, and know that i don't want to actually be with him myself due to various factors, but the idea that he's with her still gets me a little. it just comes down to the fact that he has someone and i don't. ah, how petty and self-centered we can be.

:waves to chi: thanks for the talk, honey. i'll understand from here and you'll understand from there. don't worry, i'll stick by you ;)

* * *
"Tidal Wave" -Longwave

take me down in a tidal wave
take me down when i'm wired
the hardest thing you ever gave away is the hardest thing to keep
i am everything you wanted
i am everything you wanted
i am everything you need

take me back to the other place
take me back when i'm alone
i can see all the little things that once could make me whole
i am everything you wanted
i am everything you wanted
i am everything you need

but i can feel it again
i can feel it again
i am everything you wanted
i am everything you need

give me the colors of a different light
give me the colors grey and blue
everything you ever hoped to be is when the colors breathe
i am everything you wanted
i am everything you wanted
i am everything you need

but i can feel it again
i can feel it again
i am everything you wanted...
everything you wanted...