edit: formal photos up on my xanga. enjoy.
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formal was beautiful and fun and minnelly and c.chiou are goddesses. =) slideshow was abso-fucking-lutely amazing (martina and claudia are incredible), and i'm so sad about the etas leaving...they've been with me every step of my kdphi career, and things will be so different. i know they'll all be successful and hot. thanks to jason for being such a lovely arm accessory--you're lucky i lost my camera so you didn't have to take nearly as many pictures as all the other escorts. you're such a good little escort ho. ;-) thanks for being so fun!

everything's so overwhelming these days too--but i've gotten used to so many waves of change that the turbulence has become normal. in any case, i'm still in way too deeply and it feels so difficult to get out. sometimes i don't even want to try.

it all flows on past anyway. have a nice little swirl, then you let go.

i don't really keep any IM windows open anymore. i'd rather close them all. [okay, except for yours, michelle. even though you betrayed me with extra gf's!]

sometimes i find it really sad that i've become so cynical. i don't think i've become this way because it's the cool or sophisticated thing to do--i'm only realistic. fine, maybe a little hurt or scared if you want to psychoanalyze. whatever. like my brithday present says, "you're not bitter, you're cynically hopeful." amen. at least that hope hasn't died. i think i'm glad.

* * *
"Shimmer" -Fuel

she calls me from the cold
just when i was low, feeling short of stable
and all that she intends
and all she keeps inside isn't on the label
she says she's ashamed
can she take me for a while?
can i be a friend? we'll forget the past
but maybe I'm not able
and i break at the bend

we're here and now, will we ever be again?
'cause i have found
all that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
away again

she dreams a champagne dream
strawberry surprise, pink linen on white paper
lavender and cream
fields of butterflies, reality escapes her
she says that love is for fools that fall behind
and i'm somewhere in between
i never really know
a killer from a savior
'til i break at the bend

we're here and now, will we ever be again?
'cause i have found
all that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
away again

it's too far away for me to hold
it's too far away -

guess i'll let it go