love: i love my kdphi. i love my thiokas. i love our new lambda girls. i love my little sisses (pledge educator, elmo, and aria). i can't believe you're finished :) so, so proud. love to everyone who came to our party too. good times.

randomness: my headlights are fixed! corned beef hash reminds me of my mom. i'm always tired. an elderly woman falling onto your dinner table provides a very surreal moment. i miss amanda. sys is coming up. i've almost finished the box of honey nut cheerios. some people can't seem to remember what my name is when they're drunk ;)

-
i wonder why people say hearts break. when someone or something emotionally hurts me or i allow myself to hurt, it's not my heart that twists. my heart thumps along just fine. it's this indefinable, seemingly empty space within my chest that gets kneaded like bread dough. sometimes the ache extends to my stomach, but my heart? it keeps beating. my stomach keeps digesting. i keep breathing. so what if it feels like my insides are imploding?

no, it's not a current feeling. i was just wondering. feeling sort of cynical yet idealistic at the same time. i'm not in the mood to settle for less, but i can't help thinking what i want will be in a rather far-away future.

* * *
"Forever" -Ben Harper

not talkin' 'bout a year, no, not three or four
i don't want that kind of forever in my life anymore
forever always seems to be around when it begins
but forever never seems to be around when it ends
so give me your forever
please, your forever
not a day less will do from you

people spend so much time, every single day
runnin' 'round all over town, givin' their forever away
but no, not me, i won't let my forever roam
and now i hope i can find my forever a home
so give me your forever
please, your forever
not a day less will do from you

like a handless clock with numbers, an infinite of time
no, not the forever found only in the mind
forever always seems to be around when things begin
but forever never seems to be around when things end
so give me your forever
please, your forever
not a day less will do from you