so last night, i remember thinking, "ugh i'm so tired...maybe i'll take a ten-minute nap since i haven't taken out my contacts yet..." as usual, that ten-minute nap turned into a nine-hour "nap". whoops. then i had a starvin' student burrito ;-) and attempted to study at the library...but then i got cramps. ugh. they were not fun...wasted many good study hours in bed =( thanks for driving me back though, dave. finally got up and i was in a decent mood, but then i had to deal with all this ucaa ski trip crap--three hours down the drain doing that. all the details put me in a defiinite bad mood and i was starting to cramp again. dave dropped off a milkshake for me though...it's nice to have sweet friends =) uh...i didn't really drink it though since it was all cold and i didn't think that would help...but thanks anyway. that was about all i did...ugh. total waste. i am so beyond screwed for finals. someone just put me out of my misery.

to up the "aww" quotient though, my sister has a countdown in her aim profile to the day i'm coming back home ;-) she's so cute!

would you rather love or be loved?

the rest of my day since i last posted was long. it must have been because i was living on three hours of sleep the entire day. so i took a purity test at www.puritytest.com, and evidently i'm 85.50% pure--"you are virtually an angel." but this test mostly concerned sex...and i decided to retake thespark.com's purity test too...and it was the lowest i ever remember it being: 70%! it covers a bit more ground than the other test, but i remember the days in high school when my score was hovering around 90%! wow, college has been corrupting =P or maybe it's just made me more honest when taking online tests?

i also caught up with michelle today after like...a day or two without talking to her...haha. that's a long time for us, man! ooh and i cleaned my room too. exciting.

then it was time for date dash...thanks for coming, jason! fun at chuck e cheese, baby...skeeball, hungry hippos, pizza (dude, the two of us finished one whole pizza!), frog race...lovely regression to childhood ;-) i don't believe i could have hadmore fun at chuck e cheese's with anyone else...hehe. won some cool things with our 280 tickets too...like my little star slinky, a squishy/sticky green frog, candy, and some other random junk. afterward, we headed back to the dorms to chill...i'm really attached to that green frog! it provided hours of entertainment. =) and i visited diana and andrea tonight too since they're in mirrielees also! yay! i miss my old roble room 100 girls! diana was her usual self, deflowering the little frog by making it hump my finger. yes, you read that correctly...haha, gotta love diana. and andrea's just as cute and off-the-wall as always ;-) ooh, i made a rather bad freudian slip tonight too...it had something to do with the candy called "licker dipper." you figure it out *blush*

this morning, i woke up late for my 10:00 class (my only class of the day too) =( i'm so steeeewpid. woke up around 10:05 and then biked like crazy to class...luckily didn't miss anything, but everyone in class had a nice laugh at my extremely late arrival. ah well, at least i could still do my presentation. it went really well; i could tell the class was amused ;-)

this song/cartoon has been stuck in my head ever since tina sent it to the email list =P -- kan guo lai (don't forget that you can dress the man up in the beginning by pressing the blue buttons before clicking "play" ;-)

uh..it's late. or early...whichever way you wish to look at it. so i pretty much have my chinese presentation down...i get to do fun things like insult another person and talk to myself and pour hot tea on someone. then i went to the coho to listen to some live jazz...incredible as always, dave ;-) i so wish i had talent like that...in anything. ah well. my little sibs, trevor and sami, showed up! i like them. =) drank some coffee for the first time in quite a few months. then i just studied. ooh, exciting. zach did a wonderful job in helping me memorize my lines in chinese...thanks!

you know, smells are so important. they can conjure so many memories and emotions...good and bad of course. like the guys in the double down the hall conjure the emotion of disgust. oh god they smell. happily, they've been keeping their door closed these past couple of days. it's a bit disturbing to me, though, that when you smell something, it's because particles of whichever substance reach receptors in your nose and such...if you think about smelling crap and manure and bathroom stink...then ewwww. blechblechblech. and i hate smelling exhaust or cigarette smoke; they seriously make me gag. but there are plenty of good smells to make up for those--yummy food, flowers, etc. and i like good people-smells. =) certain people just smell a certain way, whether caused by shampoo/conditioner, cologne, perfume, deodorant, whatever. people with good aromas attract me. although differentiating between something that smells good or bad to you can be quite subjective sometimes...and scientifically speaking, smell can play a large part in potential mate attraction. basically you subconsciously want someone who smells the "opposite" of you in certain factors, and genetically this generally ensures diversity and prevents in-breeding. something like that...i forget the specifics. i just remember i found that very interesting. =) now that i think about it, i think i have a couple favorite-smelling people...hehe. i know that it's them just by the smell, and i don't mean that in a negative way at all. i know i'm just rambling about smells right now, but it's very late/early. you'll have to excuse me. i should sleep soon...but i wonder how i smell. you can't very well smell yourself since you obviously get accustomed to your own smell. i hope i don't smell bad too often unless it's right after [the rare occasions] i've been exercising or something. of course i can't tell whether i smell bad or not since...it's my smell. besides, most people won't come straight out and say, "dude, you reek." because although that would be helpful to know sometimes, i do not know how well i would take a comment like that ;-) it's not like you can usually do something about it at the time if you're out and hanging out with people, y'know? and i am going to sleep before i write anything else stupid.

shut up dave. uh...i will blog more later. i need to study. bye =)

slept a whole lot last night since i woke up around...11:30 =) decided to screw going to chinese at the normal time and went at 1:15 instead. even with more sleep than usual though, i felt abnormally tired...still do for some reason. my eyes can only stay halfway open right now.

yet for some odd reason while walking back from chem section, i was very happy. maybe it was the nice weather...i could actually see the sun, there was some blue sky, and not all the clouds looked gray today! amazing. i just had a goofy smile on my face the whole trip back to my dorm =)

oh! and they had my favorite panini today at lunch...grilled chicken with curry chutney...yum ;-)

i've actually been studying! this is amazing. and i did give deb a little call...nice to know she's still alive ;-) it's always nice to chat with her.

i've been working on my no-handed craisin-eating technique also. improving as we speak.

back to studying, yo.

wow i napped past the end of dinner at my dining hall...so i had to hike on over to wilbur. ah well, at least i could get some good drinks there =) i'm trying snapple's "rain" right now...made from agave cactus juice. it's rather interesting...pretty good, but leaves a bit too sweet of an aftertaste. ooh, agave cactus is what tequila is made from too. interesting.

i'm talking to jo online now...makes me happy =D haven't talked to her in forever it seems...but i know it's only been a couple days. and it seems like deb's dropped off the face of the earth! although i know it's only because at&t went bankrupt and she has no internet anymore. i should give her a little call tonight just to say hi...

just killed off my subprofile. stupid piece of crap. i don't like losing my list of likes though =( that compilation took many random days. i'll keep trying to get at it and then transfer it to this blog maybe. this blog is so mundane and boring. i have nothing interesting to say today. sorry...maybe when the night gets longer and sleep-deprivation hits...

my room smells like pet mouse. well, half of it still does, even though i froze my ass off trying to air it out.

so i'm blogging right now because aim is being a butt and i can't get on. *waves sadly to aim buddies* i'm still alive! it's so sad how addicted i am to that thing. it just makes everyone seem so much closer to you with that wonderful instant messaging magic. not that i wouldn't rather talk to them in person, of course...but it's a decent substitute when that's not possible. whenever i'm not signed on while i'm at my computer, i just feel so...so..."disconnected"...hehe. i remember mar's quote from so long ago about that...

i have too much food in my room to deal with. i don't know what to do with it all...i've been eating anything and everything in front of me for a while because i think, "hey, i'm eating, that's a good reason to not study!" i can be so irrational and self-deceiving sometimes =P and i've been drinking from a can of coke that i left open for six hours. is that bad? sadly enough, it was warmer than my room was at one point.

the only way to combat my finals depression is to get out and visit. but that prevents me from studying, which makes me feel guilty, which leads to more finals studying depression. it's a vicious cycle! at least i delivered some bombass care packages to my lil sibs tonight with my co-sib =D i would've been so happy to get all that good stuff! we were going all out, with gift bags and all. plus i picked up two bags of craisins while we were at safeway...hehehe. yuuuum. i was just about to slip into craisin withdrawal. some people are addicted to nicotine, alcohol, crack, or caffeine and such...i'm just addicted to craisins. that's not too bad, is it? it just means i'm overloading on sugar and fiber, but ah well. i can quit whenever i want!

i don't know why i'm tired and hyper at the same time. i should just be tired since i've been out working and in class and doing other junk the whole day. dangit i'm not going to get much studying done again tonight, huh? =( okay, this is bringing me down now. i'm screeeeewed!

ooh...interesting. i never knew that burt reynolds was the voice of evie's dad!

i've decided that i like turtlenecks a lot. it's like having a scarf, but without the flapping. warm-ness...yum.

i'm thinking about taking 20 units next quarter...think i can swing it? especially since the most units i've taken per quarter during my college career so far is only 15...hrm. i'm planning on being a huge geeky hermit next quarter though since it's cold out anyway. well i'll come out for kdphi and ucaa things and food...but that's it. hardcore studying, baby!

i need more warm clothes for those vicious trips to class and such though...maybe long underwear. yeah, that might help if they fit under my pants. oh! and of course, more turtlenecks ;-) and i need more close-toed shoes. *sigh* i'll hold off till christmas and hope i get some gift certificates so i'll be forced to buy that warm stuff i need...because if i get cash, i still feel guilty about spending it...yeah, i'm a stingy one.

hahaha...the theme from "out of this world" suddenly came on my mp3 list...i forgot how amusing it is. *sigh* if only i were evie...i mean, i would control time, be able to gleep things, my dad would be a candy dish-like cube, and my boyfriend would be steve burton. now how is that bad? =) i used to watch an incredible amount of tv.

* * *

would you like to swing on a star
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are
or would you rather go to earth?

an earthling's a creature who is plain as can be
he's not as unique as you or me
his body comes in lots of different shapes
they say his relatives were chimps and apes
but if you take my advice for what it's worth
you could be happy there on earth

or would you like to swing on a star
carry moonbeams home in a jar
and be better off than you are?
you could be swinging on a star
you could be swinging on a star

ooh...almost exactly 12 hours since i blogged last. wow, i'm becoming such an addict. worked on my chinese group oral presentation this afternoon after class..it'll be interesting. we're going for the overly dramatic soap opera theme, complete with love triangles and stupid monologues.

then i chilled with dave and al for a bit and had dinner at xanadu...thanks, dave! even though the chef wasn't there tonight and it was only takeout, it was a nice change from dining hall food =P

oh, i am in love with dave/zach/al's couch. it's so huge and comfortable and covered with pillows =) and the plant i gave him for his birthday last year still lives! after a nap on the aforementioned couch, i went to go visit wil(fredo) upstairs ;-) i miss my old freshman year roble folk.

sophomore year is quite different...it's more work, but still fun...just a different type of fun i suppose. things are just more familiar, so it's no longer the shiny-new type of fun. plus it's just tempered with more awareness of yourself, of your responsibilities, of the people around you, etc.

oh! jason called tonight...had a fun little chat with him. booowling...you know you want it ;-)

glad i have my equilibrium back

momentary indifference. hope it lasts.

went to classes this morning and almost stayed awake in all of them! yay! especially since i only had around 3 hours of sleep...maybe less. what a horrid night. first i was all pissed and negative and unhappy about certain things, but it's all out now. worked it out in my o-chem problem set ;-) except right when i was about to go to bed, i discovered that i hadn't done my weekly chinese homework or prepared for today's lesson. i then attempted to do the homework without the textbook because i thought i had lost it that day...turns out it was just under my newspaper. good job, christina. anyhow, got all my ish done, went to bed under my nice clean covers, and woke up feeling much better =) although i hate going through "emotional" times because that just makes me think that i'm moody and irrational...and i don't like being moody and irrational. i think i was justified in feeling as i did though.

i have another boring, gray, work-filled afternoon and night ahead of me. oh joy.

ranting to my sister always helps. thanks, amanda =)

i am resolved. i'm not going to be the only one always trying to fix things anymore, especially since the friendship does not seem to be valued equally. i've noticed--i'm not stupid. and i can suddenly be cold and pretend to be oblivious too.

ugh i once again did not do any work or studying today. went to brunch for a meeting in the new wilbur dining hall (thumbs up from me). made favors in the afternoon, went to a theta dinner (yay!), but that's about it. did no work.

and i'd just like to say, GROW UP.

what are you so scared of? the longer you hide, the more you lose.

was messing with the template and sort of...killed off the fat puppy. whoops. which meant i had to get rid of the pawprint background also. oh well...it didn't describe me that well since i don't have a dog anyway, fat puppy or no fat puppy. so then i proceeded to make a muddle of the color scheme...tell me if the one i settled on hurts your eyes (for the few eyes that do gaze upon my page ;-)

david gray's "babylon" just came on my winamp...reminds me of that one dusk i was driving back from work this summer along good ol' 680. there's this one portion of the freeway that is a bit more elevated, and you can look down to see the bay area suburbs with their houses and trees and the dark bay. the sun was almost done setting, creating the fuzziness of navy blue and twilight and wispy streaks of purple-pink-orange along the horizon while the soft white-yellow lights of the towns below shone. "babylon" was playing, complimenting everything perfectly as i coasted by in my car...and i felt at as if i were witnessing something special and incredibly beautiful for some reason. random moments of beauty should be treasured, and i'm just glad i noticed that one.

feeling introspective, obviously.