*vacant look* "thank you, mr./ms./mrs./dr. _____, for your contribution."

i am The Stanford Fund's bitch.

my fingers are about to fall off soon from all that writing--and because i keep smashing my right index finger with the bathroom stall door. oh hey, did you know that our bathroom stalls here at stern are manufactured under the name "Hiney Hiders"? amusing.

i'm posting these lyrics again because i'm feelin them. gotta love barenaked ladies.

* * *
Falling for the First Time ~Barenaked Ladies

I'm so cool, too bad I'm a loser
I'm so smart, too bad I can't get anything figured out
I'm so brave, too bad I'm a baby
I'm so fly, that's probably why it
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time

I'm so green, it's really amazing
I'm so clean, too bad I can't get all the dirt off of me
I'm so sane, it's driving me crazy
It's so strange, I can't believe it
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time

Anyone perfect must be lying,
anything easy has its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely,
anyone loved can be lost
What if I lost my direction?
What if I lost sense of time?
What if I nursed this infection?
Maybe the worst is behind
It feels just like I'm falling for the first time

I'm so chill, no wonder it's freezing
I'm so still, I just can't keep my fingers out of anything
I'm so thrilled to finally be failing
I'm so done, turn me over 'cause it
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time

Anything plain can be lovely,
anything loved can be lost
Maybe I lost my direction,
what if our love is the cost?
Anyone perfect must be lying,
anything easy has its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely,
anyone loved can be lost
What if I lost my direction?
What if I lost sense of time?
What if I nursed this infection?
Maybe the worst is behind

mood's gone steadily downhill since the weekend. the whole will-be-screwed thing caught up with me. i'm a grumpy shmuck today =( sorry to bea who has to deal with me. there's just so much work to catch up on and i guess i'm not up to the challenge. giving up makes everything disappointing.

oh, and the only time they have decent food for dinner at the dining hall, i have to just grab a little and run to do work. typical. what a dark, dark time when food no longer has the opportunity to cheer me up.

i have a huge urge to crawl into a little pocket of warm, dusky timelessness and recuperate--just exist. if only that were possible...

"blarg ineffectuality"

race for the cure was so awesome. =) i woke up at 4:30 am too, just like i said i would (give or take 20 minutes). it's good to feel like you're actually doing something that can help others in some way, even if it's something stupid like registering racers or cheering then on. yay for breast cancer research. =)

and hot diggity, aKDPhi represented like mad--over 150 norcal kdphi volunteers, plus 3 from U of Washington! now that's hardcore. you all inspire me. girl time is good. titrations! ;-) plus we saw some of the zetas and epsilons there too! oh, and hai. haha. he wore my volunteer shirt and now it's full of hai-musk =( oh well. he made up for it with mediterranean food for dinner. yum!

unfortunately, i slept the rest of sunday away and i had a midterm tonight. blarg.

upside: bea's back! no more lonely nights ;-)

~
time is horribly relentless.