i miss not having to use those paper seat covers when i go to the bathroom.

i don't feel like blogging about what i do anymore. so i'll do that when i feel like it. i've been sleeping too little, but luckily i've somehow been staying awake in all my lectures. it's incredible...last quarter i think i fell asleep in every lecture i went to. all of a sudden cell biology and developmental biology and molecular orbitals are interesting...hm. maybe it's because i have really good snack food in my room these days...those little asian crackers, tomato pretz, pirate's booty, pringles, cookies...wow. i never had good food last quarter...or even last year!

why am i blogging at 2:45 am when i have a chinese quiz to study for and an inquiry of study to write? well...i'm getting to those. really. just need to gather my wits about me. i wore one of my favorite new-ish shirts today...the forever 21 shirt that cher liked =) felt like it went to waste though. some people need to copy phone numbers down correctly. i'm in weird, dry, random mode. i throw in a couple smilies here and there because otherwise i frighten myself with my non-smileyness. i like smiles. writing the word "smile" so often has robbed the word of all meaning. it looks like gibberish to me now. so many girls i know are guy-hating right now...i can feel it suffocating my hope. maybe it's all for the better? but i want that anomaly. i want that like-whoa. actually, i want them rather distantly right now...i'm feeling very removed these days. i wish something would lift my emotions up so i know they still exist. maybe it's just the late night talking.

i'm going to go listen to slow music and do work now.

* * *
I’m No Angel ~Dido Armstrong

If you gave me just a coin for every time we say goodbye
Well I’d be rich beyond my dreams, I’m sorry for my weary life
I know I’m not perfect but I can smile
And I hope that you see this heart behind my tired eyes

If you tell me that I can’t, I will, I will, I’ll try all night
And if I say I’m coming home, I’ll probably be out all night
I know I can be afraid but I’m alive
And I hope that you trust this heart behind my tired eyes

I’m no angel, but please don’t think that I won’t try and try
I’m no angel, but does that mean that I can’t live my life?
I’m no angel, but please don’t think that I can’t cry
I’m no angel, but does that mean that I won’t fly?

I know I’m not around each night
And I know I always think I’m right
I can believe that you might look around

I’m no angel, but please don’t think that I won’t try and try
I’m no angel, but does that mean that I can’t live my life?
I’m no angel, but please don’t think that I can’t cry
I’m no angel, but does that mean that I won’t fly?

i took this fruit quiz and the result was the following:
Strawberry: 60/100 Pear: 20/100 Banana: 60/100 Tomato: 10/100 Lemon: 0/100

Take the What Fruit Are You? test by webkin and aaronr!

however, if you look at the breakdown, i also tied for a banana...so i went back to see what a banana was =D
Strawberry: 30/100 Pear: 20/100 Banana: 80/100 Tomato: 30/100 Lemon: 0/100

Take the What Fruit Are You? test by webkin and aaronr!

i have to say i like being both ;-) although being able to say i am a tomato would be very cool.

the best laid plans of mice and men

mine have gone awry =( it would have been perfect! 20 units of bio, bio lab, chem, chinese, and chinese poetry (satisfying two GER's!)...but no. lab just had to conflict with chinese poetry. and any other class i want to take conflicts or would put me at 21 or 22 units, which means i would have to petition and i hear they're assholes about letting you petition for extra credits if they're not like p.e. electives. so..i'm back at 17 units this quarter. i wanted to get rid of a GER though! i feel like i've been so slacking academically here...just haven't been taking enough units. i can't even take conversational cantonese since that conflicts too. phooey. maybe i'll take a dance class or beginning jazz piano or something. enough ranting about classes.

so...it's been a while, no? the end of break seemed to go by in a blur...i finally had some bumming-around time. very sweet. i spent some quality horsing-around time with brandon...that bugger's getting big! hehe...he's so funny though. i miss my little bro already. and amanda...we didn't get to spend much quality sister-bonding time. mom was really stressed about paying my tuition and stuff this break...i tried to help, but we'll see =\

dude, i can't even remember what i did for the rest of break...hm. saturday, deb, anthony, tim, david, steven, stan, and i took advantage of my red lobster discount on my last day of work...yum =) then we went to the cinema saver and watched shallow hal for $2.50. yeah, it was "be cheap day." ;-) i seem to be having a lot of theme days lately. the movie wasn't that bad...pretty amusing i suppose. equating thinness with beauty was a little disturbing though. but i'm quibbling. i don't really need to analyze movies like shallow hal, i know. hm...sunday was my little niece's birthday...happy birthday, leia! she's 2 now =) there were many little tykes running around my cousin's place...it was nice to see some of my relatives again too. it's a bit freaky to see all these people i knew when they were in high school and college now having kids. my cousin has three! insane. they're so cute though =) after the party, i picked up mike and went to stoneridge...exchanged jo's belt and returned my mom's christmas gift because she wouldn't accept it =P "no, it's too expensive, return it and keep the money!" so i returned it...and bought her a phone from fry's instead =) our old cordless was always cutting out anyway. thanks for coming along, mike! but why are you my friend again? =P hehe. later that night, my cousin jimmy drove me back to stanford. how do i end up with more and more crap each time?? i almost forgot my dorm keys, my camera, some pictures, and my fish! i luckily remembered those...but forgot christmas presents at home. oy. knowing me, they're not going to get their presents until like...february. soooorry! jimmy had this portable dvd player in his car though...i watched the beginning of another andy lau/sammi cheng romantic comedy, love on a diet. pretty amusing stuff =) i want to find out what happens though! actually, i can probably predict what will happen, but i want to watch it anyway. that's how it is with romantic comedies...you can pretty much figure out that the girl and guy get together and they live happily ever after, but that still doesn't stop you from wanting to see the movie. it's all about the journey ;-)

so...i was back in stanford on sunday night...dave came to visit, but yes, i had forgotten his christmas gift at home. hmph. the next day i did laundry and saw more people =) all in all, it was a very chill day. i approved. i needed a day like that to be prepared for classes. today i went to class... whoop-de-doo! shopped this really interesting english class called "20th century american fictions", but that would put me at 22 units =\ bio was the same, chem was the same (except half an hour longer than last quarter!), and i arranged a way to keep taking chinese even though i have scheduling conflicts with the two sessions. my teacher is nice =) it would have been such a waste to drop out of chinese after four straight quarters of it. we had a theta dinner in the new wilbur dining hall tonight...i missed my girls! yes, five is a good number ;-) plus we got our jackets! oh goodness, they're nice. *sigh* finally! hehehe...makes me slightly giddy. then we went to my big sister/pledge mom tina's surprise birthday party...her boyfriend, steve, arranged everything. he's so hardcore! he even went through the OSA and everything...geez. guys like him make me want to have a boyfriend. steve and tina are so devoted and cute! i pointed steve out to michelle as evidence that great guys do exist, but she declared him abnormal. maybe it's true...but to think that there are "abnormal" guys like that out there keeps my hope alive =)

time for bed now. dream of me tonight...you know you want to =D