hehehe...hi! i'm happy now! finally my week is over...wow. i'm so unbelievably happy...i went to the lambda mu class activation tonight. congrats to eric, chien, woojin, charles, and yefei! i know all of you got totally trashed tonight =P i was just happy =) i haven't danced or partied in so long! it was so awesome...i missed having fun. =D that's all i have to say.

i only want to blog a lot when i'm sad or depressed, but when i'm happy i either don't want to write anything or i just don't even think of doing so. lala...i think i deserved this night of slight debauchery and escapism...g'night =)

a big thank you and *muah* to jacq and cher for caring! alas, i could not open the file cher sent me. it's the thought that counts though =)

so it's pretty much all over for now...yay? i'm sort of disappointed in myself because i know i could have done so much better on everything this week if i had more time and hadn't fallen asleep so much every night. bah. curse this body! it failed me at the worst possible time...or maybe i shouldn't blame my body and just admit that i have no discipline. bah. maybe this will teach me a lesson so that from now on, i will always try to be two weeks ahead in all my classes. right. =D

tonight was fairly chill...i had a nice dinner with chuck. we caught up and all that good stuff. i also think i burned more calories attempting to eat my food than the amount of calories i actually consumed. the beef on those beef kebabs was durned tough! plus i saw my little sibs tonight =) i love them. well, except for henry because he wasn't in. hehehe...i'm kidding. he's awesome too. wow, i'm sleepy. i was going to do my laundry and clean my room tonight, but i think i'm too tired. ugh. i think my body just wants to hibernate. can't fight it...too weak...g'night.

Which drink are you?
or when cold:


Which drink are you?

they don't all go together very well, do they? ah well. =) especially the drinks...do you think i'm hot or cold? i couldn't decide! i think it's the mood you catch me in or how well i know you ;-)

i like these quizzes entirely too much.

i think my body's finally rebelled...it won't let me sleep less than six hours a night anymore--at least, it hasn't for the past three nights. little factors that aid my body in its conspiracy to rob me of working/studying time are my immunity to my alarm and cell phone alarm and my absolute lack of willpower and discipline these days.

is this what they call burning out? might as well label this week "crash and burn".

well, at least i had a relaxing day of bacteria transformation and pipetting. wasn't that interesting, but at least there were sparks and fire. grow, correctly ligated plasmid-and-tryptophan-repressor-gene-containing E. coli, grow!

feeling particularly asian right now. what happened to provoke this? something profound or deep or serious?

nah. i opened a packet wrong and spilled the contents...everything smells like soy sauce now. =D

i think the more stress i get, the greater the loss of coordination. i've already fallen off my chair, knocked my head against the bottom of my bed, and spilled soy sauce this week. that just illustrates the joy that is my week.

my hair is oh-so-flat. and my room is still a mess. and i've got two loads of laundry to do eventually. i suppose that's what happens when you're screwed over with work =P

feeling a bit calmer now. we'll see how i am later on tonight while i'm still writing this long lab and studying for chinese.

ooh...but jo is back and hosted! i think bekki is ubercool for hosting jo, even though i don't know her. =)

back to my lab.

pretty much fucked up my bio midterm just now. and i don't usually used words like that freely. there's just way too much going on these days...i've never felt so stretched out. maybe i've gone past my limits, but i'm so confused and tired that i don't even know what my limits feel like. i have a meeting tonight and a whole lab report to write up and my chinese test tomorrow and another midterm on thursday. on top of that academic shit, i've got a bitchy woman demanding money and events to plan and meetings to prepare for and drama. i want to yell at stupid people and hide under my comforters in the dark at the same time. bottom line: dealing with people is just too stressful on top of work. i want everyone to just disappear for a while...except my friends. they can stay. =) good friends are the ultimate de-stressers... just by being there.

* * *
“A friend is someone you want to be around when you feel like being alone.” ~Barbara Burrow

honestly, it takes a lot to really, truly get me down, but i'm there now. oh wait, what i had to deal with wasn't enough--let's drop an anvil on me for a dramatic finish.

status: kill me.

i think i've become immune to my alarm clock.

status: screwed x 3490871094

i know i'm screwed x 20, but i'd just like to say that i love my jo. i am always here for you through any drama you're going through. some people need to face facts and stop the manipulation and self-delusions. i'm amazed you've tolerated what you have...just stay strong! remember that the ha-rage is at your disposal >=|

life is not and should not be a melodrama.

you know, these bodies of ours can take a lot more falling than we think. now if only something would inspire me to leap.

retreat was wonderful~ i am always amazed at how little i know about people and just how multi-faceted and diverse these girls are. aa community issues, the future, sisterhood, relationships, sketchiness, family, passion, religion, ambition, food...thanks to everyone for sharing =) i like how a big circle of people can no longer seem quite so large after a couple hours of talking. i know there's so much more to be discovered, and i always hope to be learning more. conversation is everything. as are warm marshmallows.

and i still have a 100% rate of falling asleep in car rides of over twenty minutes. yes!

status: f*cked. must...survive...this week...

reminder: must ask cher about her weekend...>=) uh...and no more leaning to the side on this chair to grab something. i just fell on my ass. good job, christina.

* * *
illusion never changed
into something real
i'm wide awake
and i can see
the perfect sky is torn
you're a little late
i'm already torn
torn