i just lost my whole blog =( we'll see what i can piece together with my bad memory...

i found my glasses yesterday before mike's hockey game...which is good because my eyes were becoming red and unsightly. so the team mike was supposed to play was "nonexistent" but they played some other team...mike had some great saves as goalie =) "nice ass!" but it smelled. =D

today i made a booboo when i was trying to refill the cocktail sauce at work...sort of tried putting in marinara sauce. the keyword is "tried" because more than half of the bag spilled on the counter and floor anyway. geez. my white work shoes have now collected catsup, marinara sauce, and chives. mum drove me home since amanda had the car today...remind me to not do that again when it's raining because my mom's not especially proficient at driving in the rain. ooh ooh! there was a huge, bright rainbow at 3:30 while we were driving back though. quite pretty =) i'm so glad that i saw it...haven't seen a rainbow in a while. it was a complete semi-circle, vivid with color, and there was this faint double rainbow above it. then i went home and took well-deserved nap =P

later on i drove up to berkeley...finally went bowling with jason! i owed you one ;-) we admired the footwear and, as usual, i was soundly defeated. bowling is definitely not my game, but i had fun! then we went to this cute cafe called...uh...au coquelet? i am not sure. but cheesecake! and a pretty good white mocha. then we went back to his apartment to be bums and chill. i helped him download some quality music and saw some...interesting pictures. and you gotta love that "sexy" mirror... it's always fun hanging out with jason =) after a while i dropped him off in alameda and drove back home, singing at the top of my lungs. hehe...had to keep myself awake somehow. my vocal chords feel nicely stretched now.

tomorrow is reserved for baking and shopping and girl-time! YAY! well..except for the shopping part. i have *all* my christmas shopping to do in the span of a couple hours...so scared! >_< maybe i should go write a strategy for tomorrow's shopping now...hm...

* * *
things aren't the way they were before
you wouldn't even recognize me anymore
not that you knew me back then

but in the end
it doesn't even matter

i'm happy =D i'm not quite sure why, but i am. must be because i'm done with work and i'm going to see some good friends tonight and some good songs were playing on the radio as i was driving home today ;-) singing at the top of your lungs in the car is always fun. who cares if passing drivers give me funny looks?

y'know, i only had 2 hours of sleep last night before driving my sister to school at 7:30 am...then another 2 hours of sleep before getting to work. i was a bit late =X oh well all i did was burn my fingers a bit and then dry them out by rolling a lot of silverware. oh! one of my coworkers is originally from malaysia and went to michigan for college. i find that odd...not to bag on michigan or anything, but i find it interesting that she left malaysia for michigan ;-) although e.bahn is from michigan too... "paaap...aliver..." they have fun accents there =)

i think my sleeping schedule is worse during my vacation than it was during school =P sadness.

what happens when my stressed-out sister takes over the keyboard...

chrispy ha: hello nikemike
chrispy ha: it's your best friend amanda
chrispy ha: =)
chrispy ha: how have you beeN?
nikemike16: hi
nikemike16: ive been stressed
nikemike16: :T
chrispy ha: i'm sorry mike
chrispy ha: i have been too
nikemike16: why are you stressed
nikemike16: and whered your sister go??
chrispy ha: she's right here
chrispy ha: i'm stressed because of boys like you
chrispy ha: jk =)
chrispy ha: why are you stressed?
nikemike16: now what did i do??
chrispy ha: nothing i was jk
nikemike16: youre stressing from nerdy asian boys ?
nikemike16: shiiiiiitttttt
chrispy ha: haha
nikemike16: :P
chrispy ha: actually i am
chrispy ha: hahah
chrispy ha: so shiiiiit yourself
nikemike16: .......
nikemike16: whoa now
chrispy ha: um my sis says that sounds bad so sorry
nikemike16: hahaha
chrispy ha: i was jk
chrispy ha: you're making me mad
chrispy ha: you're not talking to me
chrispy ha: you fricken nerdy asian boy
chrispy ha: you're all alike
chrispy ha: all of you!
chrispy ha: GOSH
chrispy ha: fine..i don't need this
chrispy ha: i get enough from OTHER nerdy asian boys
chrispy ha: goodbye =P
nikemike16: so much anger in that one

hahaha...my sister amuses me. and here i am again:

chrispy ha: um...yeah. haha...you can see my sister is a little emotionally unstable right now
nikemike16: so i was reading ee
nikemike16: what can i say ?
nikemike16: im not the same as all them other nerds
nikemike16: cause i dont think im a be an eecs major no more
nikemike16: so hah
chrispy ha: explain that one to me ;-)
chrispy ha: ohhh
nikemike16: yaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh
nikemike16: sides
nikemike16: im better looking than those damned nerds.. i play basketball..and im funny
nikemike16: not to mention modest
nikemike16: :D
chrispy ha: HAHAHA
chrispy ha: *cough* i mean...yes
chrispy ha: exactly ;-)
nikemike16: okae look here woman
nikemike16: im not in the mood
nikemike16: :P
nikemike16: haha
chrispy ha: don't call me woman!
nikemike16: WOMAN
nikemike16: WOOOOOOOOMAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN
chrispy ha: go study, BOY!
chrispy ha: BOOOOOOOOOOOY
nikemike16: uh huh ?
chrispy ha: LAAAAAADDDDDDIIIIIIIEEEE!
chrispy ha: hehehe
nikemike16: thank you jerry lewis
chrispy ha: actually
chrispy ha: that was laddie
chrispy ha: not ladie
chrispy ha: i realized you could read it either way
chrispy ha: HAHAHA
chrispy ha: THAT'S FUNNy
chrispy ha: isn't that funnY/
nikemike16: youre weird
nikemike16: crazy woman

okay, maybe i'm not much better =D i've missed talking to you, mike =)

work's really getting me down, man. i just garnish food and get dirty and clean up junk. no human interaction...horrible. and getting up at insane times...ugh. but i've resolved myself to my other problems, so i'm going to resolve myself to my work. no biggie. and i had to cancel on jeffrey today since i got off work so freaking late =\ soooorry!

but...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOMMY! =D i love my mommy. we bought her ice cream cake...yum. oh, but we ran out of candles except for the ones that are shaped like numbers...we needed a "1" but we didn't have one so we were all ghetto and chopped off the end of a "7"...hahaha. soooo ghetto...but i still love my mommy. =)

i'm turning around my break. i'm going to have fun in spite of some things. in spite of work, in spite of people who think they have the power to judge me. don't underestimate me. never had to deal with a strong girl before? then learn.

insincerity pisses me off. i wish people would talk to me before thinking they know me. i don't like talking about unpleasant things, but i'm strong enough to initiate if i must. i hate getting emotional, but it happens anyway because i'm human. deal with me.

back at good ol' red lobster...now i get to touch everybody's food. mwaha...it's true though. i like..garnish everything. and take the food's temperature. haha...the job of the alley coordinator is not too intriguing. i end up smelling like all the food and get catsup on my white shoes though. phooey. gave jeffrey a ring on the way home...we're gonna go get pearl milk tea tomorrow night...yay! although he was very interested in hitting up chuck e. cheese...haha. i can so see that.

this break has been rather disappointing and just plain un-fun on the whole so far. i'm so frustrated that i can't even go to sleep and wake up when i want!!! ARGH! sleep-deprivation is going to get me sooon...i can feel it. *shudder* i have to wake up at the disgusting hour of 7 am every morning i have work this week because i need the stupid freaking car, so i have to drive my sister to school. a;lsdkfjal;sdjf!

haven't been here in a while, huh? well, i'm finally home, and it feels nice =) actually, i'm feeling a bit guilty because i haven't been able to spend much time with my family...friday night after i dropped off all my crap, i had to get to installs in millbrae. ooh, i saw pearlyn there though =) funny how things work out. so while i was heading back, i realized that i had forgotten all my contact stuff at school. oy. i went to pick that up on the way home and had a nice chat with deb on the phone the whole way =D so cute! finally got home around 11:30 or 12:00...aiya. the next day, deb, cher, and i went to stoneridge in the afternoon for some "christmas shopping"...hahaha. yeah, that really turned out well. i ended up buying myself two new shirts. oh! but i saw hubert! he's such a cutie...remembered my name after i only talked to him like three times at school =)

then it was off to davis for dinner and pearl milk tea with jo, along with a lot of useless primping. haha...we're such girls. eventually we picked up alex and headed over to dylan's bday party. i haven't talked to alex in ages =) you call me! party was normal...just chillin, talking to people, cliques here and there. tim was spinning for a while though =) omg, i will not be forgetting gay chicken in the near future...the things you guys do...

back at jo's place, the girls and i had some pre-sleep bonding while staring unfocused at each other's faces since we didn't have our contacts on. finally slept at 6:30 =X we woke up pretty late, and i knew my mom was going to kill me for getting home incredibly late, so i called up red lobster to cut her off at the pass and tell her that i had a job again this break. ugh. but jo, deb, cher, anthony, alex, and i had a big ol' lunch/dinner at pete's bar and grill...man, that pizza was huge. and the waiter did not look like howard, anthony =P

you know, i often wonder how people perceive me. i was talking to jo about this last night, and we know that we all sort of shift the way we act depending on whom we're with. if you don't believe you do, i think you should look a little closer. it's just automatic. and i wonder so much about which is the real me...but i guess i'm all of them. and i know there are some core characteristics of mine that are there in every situation--not that i never change. because i see my changes very clearly too. i regret certain failures to act or speak on my part long ago...but i'm not like that anymore. i am perfectly comfortable with speaking my mind when i need to now. when i speak, i mean what i say. there's no use in lying because things come back to haunt you and you have that much more to remember and that many more lies to keep track of. i just wish everyone would grow up in some ways.