last day of work...wow. i can't decide whether time flew or crawled.

rollerskating last night was fun =) well, except for the shrimpy asian dude who skated right in front of me, causing a not-so-lovely fall. ah well. it's not as if my legs have never had bruises marring them before (or squished slugs either...). i think it affected my balance today though because i almost fell down twice on the stairs at work! yeah, i'm a huge klutz. anyway, much thanks to my babe, jacq, who drove me back later. you so rock yet AGAIN!

we stopped by to visit some milpitas guys since jacq needed to get a cd and collect some money (for what? i'll let you decide ;-) on the way back to my cousin's. stan needs to stop shotting by himself. and thanks to darrell for a really freaking good mojito! we bonded over catfish. haha. don't kill me, michael!

had a nice phone conversation with dave too. good to know he's still half-alive.

"a sorta fairytale" is so pretty. and the masks have dropped?

~
is bouncing back too quickly a bad thing? oh well, didn't seem like there was that much to get into anyway.

* * *
"a sorta fairytale" ~Tori Amos

on my way up north
up on the ventura
i pulled back the hood
and i was talkin' to you
and i knew then it would be
a lifelong thing
but i didn't know that we
we could break a silver lining

and i'm so sad
like a good book i can't put this
day back
a sorta fairytale with you
a sorta fairytale with you

things you said that day
up on the 101
the girl had come undone
i tried to downplay it with a
bet about us
you said that
you'd take it as
long as i could
i could not erase it

and i'm so sad
like a good book i can't put this
day back
a sorta fairytale with you
a sorta fairytale with you

and i ride alongside
and i rode alongside you then
and i rode alongside
'til you lost it there in the open road
and i rode alongside
until the honey spread itself so thin for me
to break your bread
for me to take your word
i had to steal it

way up north i took my day
all in all it was a pretty nice day and i
put the hood right back where
you could taste heaven perfectly
feel out the summer breeze
didn't know when we'd be back and i
i don't
didn't think
we'd end up like this

and i'm so sad
like a good book i can't put this
day back

a sorta fairytale with you
a sorta fairytale with you

i could pick back up whenever i feel

pulled myself out of my little puddle of self-pity. oops, soiled myself. haha.

moving on~

it's not so bad. and 'twas not so serious =)

~
jo and jacq came to have dinner with me tonight. they so rock! so nice to chill with you girls on a work night. watched "40 days and 40 nights" too...what a funny movie. =) you could feel the sexual frustration oozing from him. michelle, you were right. and orchids? new appreciation for them. mmm.

i try so hard to stay grounded, face reality--makes it a bigger slap in the face when i realize my little shreds of optimism have slowly been lifting me up only to have something slam me back into the dirt.

plan: share all optimism with others and keep all pessimism for myself.

yeah, i'm fucking incurable. ugh.

i need to keep 'em low. cuz really, it's all been on me.

"In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind." ~Nora Ephron

i should just stay jaded. stop trying to move me.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, ALEX! and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FOMPAY BOY! (did not blog on their birthday, the 14th.)

what a nice, long, full weekend. took a day off on friday ;-)

thursday night i went up to berkeley with jacq and deb drove us to davis and then sac. thanks a bunch, dear =) went to the rage club with them and jo and her roomie...ahaha that was interesting. jacq clubbing? yeah, wouldn't have thought it either. ;-) they're all such pimps. it was normal sweaty, smoky fun. deb is a fob magnet. heh heh.

friday night was a big dinner. lots of people. lots of pictures. the usual goofing-off thing. ended up mini-golfing afterward. fun stuff. saw anna-chia chen! whee! amanda, jason, alex, and i went to play pool after some pearl tea with everyone too. uh...yeah. still sucking. jason's really good! amanda was all talking her shit before too..haha. got home around 3-ish, went to sleep around 4.

woke up at 8:30 the next morning to go to san ramon. ooh that was not pleasant. at least brandon's team kicked butt. good stuff. soccer moms used me as their personal college advisor. nice. then big burger dinner at fuddrucker's for brandon's birthday. oy those things were big--but oh-so-yummy! saw howard and nick and cheryl later that night. neat.

yesterday went up to berkeley again for berkeley kdphi alpha alpha presents. dang...alpha alpha. anyway, saw james kuan there...then saw jason while i was leaving the house. met up with jennichen and had some good passionfruit slushy with pearls at sweetheart. went to visit mr. mike lee's place where he insulted me and tried to kick me out multiple times. *sigh* no love. ran into john outside too...i know too many people at berkeley =P went out to dinner and a movie with ken. i recommend "my big fat greek wedding" =) funny, funny movie. "i had to go to greek school, where i sat in a room translating, 'if nick has one goat and maria has nine, how soon will they marry?'"

i need more courage and less doubt sometimes. it would save me a lot of kicking-myself afterward. and i realize all my free time revolves around food.