tony and garry came all the way down to south san jose for dinner with me! they are so cool. we had very yummy thai food. =) and tony is too sneaky. in any case, great food and great company. i wish tony the best of luck at west point--if anyone deserves the best, it's him. it'll be very difficult to ever know as good of a person as mr. tony yang. =)

after dinner, my cousin and i went to the gym where i attempted to work out. it was pretty pathetic. i tried to do these ab exercises on an incline where you life your legs up to your chest and then straighten your legs out as you go down...except i couldn't keep my legs straight! my lower ab muscles have gone and died on me, i tell you. i can't believe they're still sore from last week.

you know what? i'm getting really attached to my lab coat at work. think i can keep it? it's just so comfy and i feel all uh...science-y. yeah. i'm a dork. shut up.

and did you know that china is short about 50 million females? i read about that today--what a fix they're in. because of the one-child law and the fact that females are less valued and bring in less money, there are a lot of selective abortions based on gender or infanticide when the child is female. due to the lack of females, there's an increase of incest these days since some males can't normally find wives =X that is so distressing.

my idea of summer seems to be this unrealizable dream these days. weekends are a little peek into paradise.

it's sort of understood that this is how life will be from now on though. work and learning never end. studying for classes is now replaced with reading up on immunology to understand what the hell i'm doing at work, and i'm supposedly starting to study for mcat's too. it's okay though...i'm adjusted. i don't know what i'd do with too much free time on my hands.

i thought summers were supposed to be...brighter though. maybe that'll come.

* * *
Tail of the Sun ~Stroke 9

this is the summer that'll never come
it's like someone's holding on to the tail of the sun
i wanna waste time and walk the line
from my beat routine to where i'm feeling all right
i can't hold out, i don't care about offending
the world's descending...

i know it's way too short, it rarely lasts too long
i'm just finding the floor, but when i look down it's gone

this is the way it sould always be
i've never had the propensity to work, breed, and die
i prefer to spend mine on the fly
the be'ers got to be and the flee'ers got to flee
but as for me, well...don't worry about me

i know it's way too short, it rarely lasts too long
i'm just finding the floor but when i look down it's gone
i know it's way too short, it rarely lasts too long
i'm just finding the door but when i turn around
when i turn around it's gone

it seems like today i'm looking back
well maybe tomorrow i'll see further
than my little head allows me to
i'll be cruising then i'll crack
oh something better happen to these feelings
that i'm going through

a week of solid work makes the weekend so much happier. =) yet oh-so-short.

i saw minority report on friday night. awesome movie. plus i saw so many people i've been missing this weekend. happiness. =) and the food! oh my lord, unbelievable. i'm gonna go broke soon since i keep going out to eat. but at least i ate dinner at home last night and tonight! can't ditch my mum during our most important meal of the day. ;-)

you know, all of a sudden i don't feel like blogging anymore. there always seems to be an underlying layer of discontent or doubt that eventually sneaks up even after the happiest of times...

sometimes i get so tired of stabilizing myself. it would be interesting to just...let myself go for once. see how low or high i can go and screw emotional health and what other people think. let myself float or wallow for a bit longer than usual, loosen up my reins on my emotions.

or maybe it would be nice someday to have someone help me balance. but dependence and expectations are so dangerous.