"wow, you look really tired/half-dead/dead."

it's okay. i know that's your slightly more tactful way of saying, "wow, you really look like shit!" i feel like shit too. my head's throbbing, my nose wants to fall off, my lips are chapped, my eyes are watering, and it feels as if my brain's smashing into my cranium each time i sneeze or is going to be blown out when i blow my nose. freaking allergies. i don't ever remember them being this bad. stanford has too many freaking plants. sure they look pretty and shit, but come spring time, they're all out to kill me with their pollen. maybe i need one of those clear plastic bubbles to live in--i'll be christina, the bubble girl. so i won't have any human contact...at least my liquids, nose, and brain will stay where they should.

thanks to dave for my new family-size box of kleenex though. it came just as i was down to the last one or two tissues of my old box.

allergies have knocked me on my ass and then come back to beat me with a "feel crappy" stick. bleeeh.

hey, pretty good draw number for unpreferred...2080! "it's like drawing 80. but not." this is true. i think bea's the lucky one. if i had drawn by myself, i probably would have been unassigned, with my luck for these sorts of things. =)

it's ridiculous how cold some lecture halls get. it's lovely and (possibly too) warm when i bike there, but i have to bring along a sweater or jacket unless i want to freeze during lecture. how inconvenient.

okay, i'm kicking myself out to study for my midterm now. the exciting world of plants! can't wait!

i think my blog's beginning to feel neglected. i'm such a capricious mistress. uh...yeah.

so i had a wonderful weekend in fremont. funny how my life used to be at home, and now it feels as if i go home to run away from life. it was such a nice little escape though. i saw david, steven, and my ho, deb. had a lot of fun (*infected tongue piercing voice* "mom is watching us from heaven") besides spending a lot of lovely family time. =) wesley, leia, and lucas are so CUTE! got another trim. had some of the sweet squooshy pearls and special chicken from tapioca express. went to watch spiderman too. pretty good movie.

ho-hum. back on campus. yet another midterm coming up. i know jack about plants.

you know what would improve the world in some way? if every parent taught their kids how to correctly go to the bathroom. it would make life so much nicer. sometimes i wonder if people forget how to flush toilets or aim or put the toilet paper in the toilet.

goodness, you know you're an instant messenger addict when you type out the word "aim" and go back and read it as "A.I.M." i need help.

* * *
oh these little protections, how they fail to serve me
one forgotten phone call and i'm deflated
oh these little defenses, how they fail to comfort me
your hand pulling away and i'm devastated

when will you stop leaving, baby?
when will i stop deserting, baby?
when will i start staying with myself?

oh these little projections, how they keep springing from me
i jump my ship as i take it personally
oh these little rejections, how they disappear quickly
the moment i decide not to abandon me