oh, so i forgot to mention i got lost coming back from valley fair yesterday. went into a men's wearhouse to ask directions to get to 280 eventually (since i'm not too much of a guy) and got the best wow-you-are-such-a-ditz look from the salesperson. whee! in my defense, there was construction and um...the sign was small.

you know how most girls complain about being bloated when they have pms or are menstruating? i have the weirdest opposite symptom of my midsection feeling like it's constantly sucking itself in. nice complement to the cramping too. oh, the joys of being female. can't wait for the hideous pain of childbirth!

i'm developing a taste for ben kweller. he's interesting. i was wondering whether i should change my tastes in music recently. all this assorted alternative/emo/alt-rock stuff tends to get angsty. maybe i'll get into rap that's only about pimps and hoes and shoving caps in people's asses or something. when you don't relate to the music, you don't have to feel it.

why is there so much fear to extend myself? i'm too aware of my weaknesses these days.

i wish there were less.

* * *
"I Don't Know Why" ~Ben Kweller

check me out
i'm losing control
i wanna rock and roll
but everything i plan just slips right through my hand
i don't know why

i'm a nice guy
i wanna take it easy, baby
but every time i start, my world falls apart
i don't know why

the world is feelin' like it's passin' me by
i'm fixin' to lose it
but i don't know why

check me in
i wanna be your friend
i wanna be your lover, baby
but everything i say comes out the wrong way
i don't know why

so i guess i'll let it slide by
i wanna take it slowly, honey
i'm feelin' like a fake, every move i make
i don't know why

the world is feelin' like it's passin' me by
i'm fixin' to lose it
but i don't know why

again and again and again and again i try
i'm fixin' to lose it
but i don't know why

niners lost to bucs. boo. at least i was spared having to watch the 31-6 thrashing since i was flying the friendly skies. no wait, that was delta. i was on alaska.

anyway, seattle was nice. sort of like a smaller san francisco but cleaner. =) embracing the kdphi-ness was nice. so many cool girls i would have never had to chance to meet otherwise. =) UW girls did an awesome job. even the really long meetings were very efficient. yay. clubbing saturday night was fun--seattle guys are definitely not lacking in balls. unfortunately, that coming-up-from-behind-to-grind-a-girl move doesn't do it for me...especially when the guy doesn't say a word. geez, i can't even see you, dumbass. ew. and boo to reaching around my stomach and touching my navel ring. ouch, man! then there was a delay sunday morning at the airport. evidently some person tried to jump the security checkpoint so everyone had to be disembarked and they stopped checking people in. mo and i barely made our flight after going through a security line that literally went through the entire airport and looped around. but it was a good time with momo =) and big thanks to martina for giving us a ride home even after they lost my luggage.

and...
CONGRATULATIONS, AMANDA!
tau class, gamma chapter at ucsd, aKDF

hey bea, i pass my badge onto you. TAKE IT. and michelle is my bf.

* * *
"Save Me" ~Aimee Mann

you look like a perfect fit
for a girl in need of a tourniquet

but you can save me
come on and save me
if you could save me
from the ranks of the freaks
who suspect they could never love anyone

'cause i can tell
you know what it's like
the long farewell of the hunger strike

but you can save me
come on and save me
if you could save me
from the ranks of the freaks
who suspect they could never love anyone

you struck me dumb like radium
like peter pan or superman
you will come to save me
c'mon and save me
if you could save me
from the ranks of the freaks
who suspect they could never love anyone
'cept the freaks
who suspect they could never love anyone
but the freaks
who suspect they could never love anyone

c'mon and save me
why don't you save me?
if you could save me
from the ranks of the freaks
who suspect they could never love anyone

except the freaks
who suspect they could never love anyone
except the freaks who could never love anyone