quick blog before i *really* go sleep...or nap or whatever.

jacq said she saw her cousins henry and stacy today down in alhambra! made me all nostalgic...their grandma was my babysitter when i was still in elementary school in union city, so i grew up with them as pretty much my big brother and sister. i miss them! they would call amanda "frankie" (i forget why..) and poke fun at me for being a nerd since i read all the time. i would get all huffy about it, but it's true. i was a nerd. i admit it now. =) i need to give them a call sometime...

oh and amanda sent me some pictures from our chinese new year dinner this year...here's me with my new hair:



um...yeah. rather small picture in which my hair looks like a helmet and you can't quite tell that it's a slightly different color now. ah well. i think i should go to sleep now so i can wake up at 7:30 am. O_o g'night!

isn't daniel wu hot? yuuuum.

i'm down to my last box of cookies...this is bad. what am i going to eat later??

i hate having to study on friday nights because it's simply impossible for me to work on a friday night. so i sit in front of the computer with my book in front of me pretending that i'm trying to work. i suck.

oh, i must say that i had a lovely dinner with bea last night. she's my hot babe. and i also had some see's candies toffee-ettes yesterday...mmm. i am becoming so food-obsessed...i'd rather have a good meal these days than go party. *sigh* i haven't had any craisins in a veryvery long time.

anyone want to see amelie? you do? and you want to take me? yay! *muah*

Which Winona Are You?
hey, heathers! that was a pretty messed up film. but sort of amusing. =)

I taste like Bread. I am a staple in almost everyone's diet. Friends like me are a complement to any other friends I get on with almost everyone, remaining mostly in the background, but providing substance when it would otherwise be lacking. What Flavour Are You?

and ooh..i'm bread. that's so exciting. and this is pretty sad, but my results were either this or tea. i am so exciting.

had to stick in one more quiz just because the x-men are cool. =) i even have a bunch of x-men cards lying around the house somewhere...


I'm Rogue
What X-Men Character are You?
Well Ah do declare, Sugah! Looks like you're everyone's favourite Southern Belle: Rogue. You're beautiful, charming and tough as nails, but you've got a romantic streak as wide as the white in your hair. Yup, it appears you've got it all, except for the fact that you have to keep people at arm's length all the time and then angst about it incessantly.

woke up from a nice four-hour nap. feeling all thoughtful and shit. ;-)

one of my bio lab CAs did this little getting-to-know-you round with everyone in my section yesterday by asking our name, major, year, and what our greatest weakness is. i said mine was cheesecake. i mean, honestly, do you think someone is going to share their more serious weaknesses with a class of mere acquaintances who are naming foods and sleep as theirs? our weaknesses are something we tend to try to mask. besides, i have so many i wouldn't even know where to start.

there's always been a particular weakness of mine that i hate. i've been thinking about it recently because it's definitely not helping my current state of having a million things to do without failing out of school. okay, i know i won't fail, but i've been performing much below my capability. i'm so disappointed in myself these days, but all i do when i'm feeling down about it is dredge up various justifications (read excuses) so i can at least function on a "healthy" state of mind. i'm really just a coward. as the responsibilities and commitments and work pile up, the urge to hide from them increases in proportion. to be truthful, that urge wins out much too often. as the stakes rise, the more i disappoint--very logical, christina. when i think about all i have to do, i just want to escape, but i know my issues are not going to settle themselves. this is probably why i used to read so often; it was a convenient form of escapism. i didn't want to deal with real life and would rather read about and live someone else's. who am i kidding? that's still what i want to do. the more important i think something is, the longer i want to put it off because i'm so worried i'll screw it up. once again this is quite logically unsound--my brain knows that the more time i spend, the smaller the chance that i will mess things up. i'm constantly asking myself, "what's the point? it's going to suck in the end anyway." i've lost a lot of confidence in my own abilities these days. always so scared...scared of failure, scared of disappointment, scared of disapproval--i piss myself off. being pessimistic is not very conducive to accomplishing...well, anything.

oh, and if someone could get me headphones to use with my computer for my birthday, i'll be extremely thankful. there are only so many alternating arguments and cute-gushy-sweetness-babytalk that i can take before going crazy or puking. i have a great roommate and all, but this not-quite-two-room-double is definitely not a two-room-double in terms of hearing her and her bf on the other side.

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“It’s not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.” ~Ashleigh Brilliant
amen.

warning: if you do not want to read whining and bitching, do not read any further.

everything from the inside of my eyelid to the ends of my toes are tired. my sympathetic nervous system is only making a half-hearted effort right now at making me anxious and stressed even when i think about the things i must do. boo. such...a...long...day. as usual, i had my usual couple of hours of sleep before waking up early to finish my bio lab work. i wish an ugly black death upon the enzymes lab. i went to classes all morning, did more work while eating lunch, and spent four hours in bio lab hunched over a microscope counting flies. there are some possibly entertaining anecdotes i could relate about this fly lab, but i'm too tired to make them interesting. ooh...and then i had time for a quick shower before a meeting during dinner with some really annoying people! after a nice 20-minute nap, it was time for the 2-hour pie night which stretched into three since i had to clean up too.

when am i going to have time to find a job?? conference is the whole day on saturday, chem midterm's on tuesday, lab report's due wednesday, that weekend is lambda-k and the sib dance the next night, and then it's dead week. and squished between two finals is my birthday! oh, the joy. crap, before spring break i have to have all of rush planned out too. aaggghhh and exec board elections are the night before my chem midterm and i hear those go on for hours!

it never ever ends. oh well, at least i wrote down everything (i hope) for the rest of this quarter. this way i can always refer back if i need to know what else i need to do.

i so need to be evie.

my dorm had a foghorn test today. yes, you read that correctly--a foghorn test. when the hell will my dorm ever need a foghorn?? are there barges in danger of sailing into my dorm? i think i must have missed something.

and i am incredibly full right now. i have no idea why because i didn't even finish my dinner tonight. i think something's wrong with my stomach. i know it can hold more!

oh oh!! i received a package today =) thanks for the vanessa carlton single, tony! and edward hopper again? ;-) you are seriously one of the most thoughtful people i know. now don't kill yourself with everything you're doing =P

i'd also like to give a really big hug to the wonderful friends who kept me sane last week. you know who you are. i'm amazed you could deal with the not-fun, cynical christina when i didn't even want to deal with myself. thank you for cheering me up or even just trying to cheer me up (i know i was pretty difficult at times). i love you!

okay, i'm done being mushy. go 'way. =)

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"Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends." ~Euripides

i hate having an ant crawl on my skin. even after i flick it off, whenever i feel a slight tingle on my body, i think it's an ant. *shiver* i don't know why that's so gross to me because logically i know there are plenty of other living organisms on me like bacteria and junk (and it's on you too! don't go saying i'm dirty now...at least in that way =P ). ah well...i just don't particularly like insects very much. i won't die of fright but they make me all squirmy. which is unfortunate because i'm counting flies in bio lab right now and i get to dissect fly larvae and try to extract salivary glands. yum. i'm thinking that with my luck, i'll squish the larvae before ever seeing a single salivary gland.

sappy quote i still believe in for the moment: "true love is friendship caught on fire." ~french proverb [from henry who found it from his RA]
isn't that such a nice image? if you think about it, what you want from a partner is usually what you would want from a good friend anyway. stir in a bit of requisite attraction (of some type) and *whoosh* - love? maybe. i wouldn't know. it's a nice thought nonetheless.

had two LONG meetings tonight...makes me want to sleep again.

i need a job for this summer. if someone finds me jobs relating to biological research or give me some clinical experience to apply to, i'll give you cookies! and my body. no, actually just cookies. (although i suppose the latter is negotiable, depending on how good the job...ahaha. kidding?)

question: why is it so fun to match your underwear to your outfit when you know no one's going to see?