fairly recent pictures

david managed to drag me to see 28 days later because i'm so out of it, i hadn't heard that it was a "zombie flick" or whatever. fortunately, i thought it was a good, smart movie. i think it fits the following analogy: 28 days later is to zombie movies as signs is to alien movies. kind of. signs was significantly...more pretentious. 28 days turned out to be more about human nature than anything else--lord of the flies-esque near the end.

in any case, it was a bit startling...the "zombies" were pretty gross and there was plenty of violence. i don't normally do too well with those types of movies. [alex, i still hate you for making me watch the ring.]

so i found myself hugging my own knees =P

also saw mr. mike lee yesterday. same ol' i-hate-everything biting sarcasm. ah, with that and sherman back in my AIM profile, all is right with the world again.

then kuan, howard, and i spent 3 hours playing set and chinese poker. god, we're losers. haha. thank you for being losers with me =)

slightly amusing: bea, my wondrous roommate, likes to affectionately call me her "nudie roommate." that's her nickname for me, okay? so maybe there's a little basis for it if you know me or you've read some of my old blogs...shut up. anyway, she sent me an email with the subject heading, "my nudie roommate." i was thisclose to deleting it because when i glanced at it quickly, i thought it was porn spam. hahaha. dirty bea. =D

-
it's all sort of empty. i thought i was standing strong while others foolishly rushed by and grabbed lines leading nowhere, but maybe i'm the one who's been running....away from everyone.

i just don't care as much anymore. i want to say that i wish someone could make me care...yet on principle, i feel that i should make myself care on my own. if that makes any sense. uh...i think i make less and less sense as i go on these days.

* * *
"The Tower" -Vienna Teng

the one who survives by making the lives
of others worthwhile
she's coming apart
right before my eyes
the one who depends on the services she renders
to those who come knocking
she's seeing too clearly what she can't be
what understanding defies

she says, i need not to need
or else a love with intuition
someone who reaches out to my weakness and won't let go
i need not to need
i've always been the tower
but now i feel like i'm the flower trying to bloom in snow

she turns out the light anticipating night falling
tenderly around her
and watches the dusk
the words won't come
she carries the act so convincingly the fact is
sometimes she believes it
that she can be happy the way things are
be happy with the things she's done

and yet i need not to need
or else a love with intuition
someone who reaches out to my weakness and won't let go
i need not to need
i've always been the tower
but now i feel like i'm the flower trying to bloom in snow

reach out
but hold back
where is safety?
reach out
and hold back
where is the one who can change me?
where is the one?
the one

i need not to need
or else a love with intuition
someone who reaches out to my weakness and won't let go
i need not to need
i've always been the tower
but now i feel like i'm the flower trying to bloom in snow
i feel like i'm the flower trying to bloom in snow
the danger and the power
the friend and foe

i like the phone. i don't think people appreciate the telephone as much anymore, due to the pseudo-conversation of AIM. instant messaging is almost real-time, but not quite. attention is split between too many different people, the backspace key can hide truth, and some people just type too damn slowly. besides, seeing grammar/spelling errors can really detract from a conversation for me. yeah, i'm a geek. so what?

i like voices. i like how it's more natural, the occasional stutter, the wider range of aural expression, the phone warm against my ear, feeling as close as possible if physical nearness is impossible, and true laugh-out-loud moments without seeing stupid LOL-ing.

random thought. you know what's sexy? besides the obvious cut-body-pecs-abs-whatever bit, i have a love for a deep voice and nice hands. mmm.

-begin pointless rambling [well, even more of it]-
when you get down to it, i can be a fairly optimistic person. i'm definitely optimistic for other people, but for myself...only sometimes. it's that hopeful cynicism thing. some confidence tempered with self-awareness and humility.

i believe most people have the ability to accomplish many things if they work diligently enough for it in some cases...so the ability is there, but what about the propensity? i would prefer to think everyone has at least a slight talent or inclination for some skill or field--it's just a matter of finding it. what if you never figure it out though? then you're stuck in some deadend job for which you work your ass off and with which you are never happy. what a miserable life.

always wandering down a path, trying to keep other routes open, but they fade away without commitment. what if one of the disappearing branches was what you have been looking for and would be best at but you didn't realize it?

we're stupid, ignorant fools. the more you learn, the more you realize you know nothing. life is ironic and annoying.

oh well. i don't know where i'm going with this. much like my life.
-end pointless rambling-

* * *
"Long Juan Feng" -Jay Chou

ai xiang yi zhen feng
chui wan ta jiu zou
zhe yang de jie zou
shui dou wu ke nai he
mei you ni yi hou
wo ling hun shi kong
hei yun zai jiang luo
wo bei ta tuo zhe zou

jing jing qiao qiao mo mo li kai
xian ru le wei xian bian yuan baby~
wo de shi jie yi kuang feng bao yu

ai qing lai de tai kuai jiu xiang long quan feng
li bu kai bao feng quan lai bu ji tao
wo bu neng zai xiang
wo bu neng zai xiang
wo bu wo bu wo bu neng

ai qing zou de tai kuai jiu xiang long quan feng
bu neng cheng shou wo yi wu chu ke duo
wo bu yao zai xiang
wo bu yao zai xiang
wo bu wo bu wo bu yao zai xiang ni

bu zhi bu jue ni yi jing li kai wo
bu zhi bu jue wo gen le zhe jie zou
hou zhi hou jue you guo le yi ge qiu
hou zhi hou jue wo gai hao hao sheng huo

"Why would I want to leave America to go to America Junior?" -Homer Simpson

america junior was nice. they know how to recycle in canada. ah...so many trees! canadian rockies were breathtaking.

i think i'd like to be canadian. everyone seemed so friendly, they speak english, environmental conservation actually exists, and they haven't managed to alienate most of the rest of the world yet. seems to me that in order to be truly patriotic in america, you have to be pretty damn cocky and at least a bit stupid. i hate cockiness and stupidity. canada's like the overlooked younger sibling, the slight underdog--and i love siding with the underdog (without living in third-world extremes; sorry, am still a bit prissy).

well, drawbacks would be weather, huge tax rates (and i thought california was bad), and america junior is majorly trailing on one thing: toiletseat covers in public restrooms.

sigh. can't have everything.

* * *
"Either Way" -Guster

you were almost kind
you were almost true
don't let me see that other side of you
you have learned in time
that you must be cruel
i'll have to wait to get the best of you

poison in everything you say
don't you, don't you
wonder what difference does it make
either way

you were almost kind
you were almost true
why give away that other side of you?
happens every time
so it must be true
step on a kid, he'll grow up hating you

poison in everything you say
don't you, don't you
wonder what difference does it make
either way

were you ever kind?
were you always cruel?
who's ever seen that other side of you?
happened every time
so it must be true
where did you learn it's either him or you?

you were almost kind
you were almost true
don't let me see that other side of you
you have learned in time
that you must be cruel
i'll have to wait to get the best of you

poison in everything you say
don't you, don't you
wonder what difference does it make
either way