driving around at night by myself is rather fun. with a very delicate tweak of the volume dial in my car, i can occasionally get both sides of the car radio speakers working. how sweet is that? plus i can sing along as loudly as i want to without any snide comments. except maybe from passing drivers who think i'm talking to myself. well screw you!

then some classic old 80s song comes on the radio and i have to smile. tonight's song for me was OMD's "if you leave" =) i just got this big ol' smile on my face...reminds of me of my childhood K101 days in my mom's car. soft rock in the 80s/early 90s, baby! i miss those days when i didn't know what any of those love song lyrics meant. haha. and did you know OMD stands for orchestral manoeuvres in the dark? what a wonderfully pompous name ;) 80s male singers had great slightly-ambiguously-gay-sounding voices too.

and ever notice how the police's "every breath you take" has the scariest stalker lyrics ever? "every breath you take / every move you make / every bond you break / every step you take / i'll be watching you," "oh can't you see? / you belong to me," and "i dream at night i can only see your face...i keep crying, baby, please"? good lord, stay away, sting!

in any case, i think our kids should be raised listening to soft rock like amanda and i were. sure you may grow up with absurd ideas about love and crap, but these days most kids are into hip hop and rap about objectifying women and r. kelly pretending he's from "the streets" when just a couple years ago he was singing about how high he can fly and we had no idea he had pedophilic tendencies. plus every other word is bleeped out on the radio: "last *bleep*in' night i *bleep*in' *bleep*ed tha motha*bleep*in *bleep* *bleep* *bleep*. then brandon goes and downloads the song except it's the uncut version and i have to start yelling, "WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO, BRANDON?!" ugh. too much mtv too. i might find "doggy shizzle televizzle" (whatever the hell that is) to be funny, but my little brother shouldn't watch it! damned mtv. i didn't have mtv when i was 11. i didn't have cable when i was 11. i didn't have a computer when i was 11.

my god, i sound old. maybe it's time to tell my little brother about how i had to walk barefoot 10 miles to school uphill both ways in gopher-sized hail and the only toys we had were fishballs when i was his age...

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people annoy me sometimes. the only person allowed to be temperamental is ME, got it? psh.

i wonder how well you can ever know someone. it would be pretty cool to be able to see everyone's underlying motives...or maybe it would only be horribly depressing.

* * *
"If You Leave" -OMD

if you leave, don't leave now
please don't take my heart away
promise me just one more night
then we'll go our separate ways
with hours left time on our sides
now it's fading fast
every second every moment
we've got to--we've gotta make it last

i touch you once, i touch you twice
i won't let go at any price
i need you now like i needed you then
you always said we'd still be friends someday

if you leave i won't cry
i won't waste one single day
but if you leave don't look back
i'll be running the other way
seven years went under the bridge
like time was standing still
heaven knows what happens now
you've got to--you've gotta say you will

i touch you once, i touch you twice
i won't let go at any price
i need you now like i needed you then
you always said we'd meet again

i touch you once, i touch you twice
i won't let go at any price
i need you now like i needed you then
you always said we'd still be friends

i touch you once, i touch you twice
i won't let go at any price
i need you now like i needed you then
you always said we'd meet again someday

if you leave
oh if you leave
oh if you leave
don't look back
don't look back

i always get hungry in the wee hours of the morning. horrible. i'm salivating just thinking of the msg in some instant noodles...

oh! you know what's pretty neat (only because i'm a geek)? so i know there are a few traits that are Y-chromosome-linked because that's what the textbooks say, but i never really knew of a specific one. after all, the Y chromosome is...incomplete and small. yeah, extrapolate what that means about you, males ;) anyway, i discovered that hair growing out of your ear is probably a Y-linked trait, which is why you never really see women with ear hair.

further proving my nerdiness, i found this page with the following:

By comparison to the X chromosome, the much smaller Y chromosome has only about 26 genes and gene families. Most of the Y chromosome genes are involved with essential cell house-keeping activities (16 genes) and sperm production (9 gene families). Only one of the Y chromosome genes, the SRY gene, is responsible for male anatomical traits. When any of the 9 genes involved in sperm production are missing or defective the result is usually very low sperm counts and subsequent infertility. One in six American couples are infertile. It is now thought that about 1/3 of these couples is unable to have children as a consequence of the male mate not having the necessary sperm producing genes on his Y chromosome.

Because the Y chromosome only experiences recombination with the X chromosome at the ends (as a result of crossing-over), the Y chromosome essentially is reproduced via cloning from one generation to the next. This prevents mutant Y chromosome genes from being eliminated from male genetic lines. Subsequently, most of the human Y chromosome now contains genetic junk rather than genes.

how sucky is that? males are obviously much more imperfect than females...we have better genes ;) it's horrible that 1/6 of american couples are infertile though. have you checked your swimmers today? hope you have some.

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it's another one! hahaha. now it's just getting ridiculous. good lord, how do i find them?

you can only have a teensy little glimmer of hope that the ending will be different this time. anything more would be stupid.

* * *
"You and I Both" -Jason Mraz

was it you who spoke the words that
things would happen but not to me?
oh things are gonna happen naturally
and taking your advice i'm looking on the bright side
and balancing the whole thing
but oftentimes those words get tangled up in lines
and the bright light turns to night
until the dawn it brings
a little bird who'll sing about the magic that was you and me

'cause you and i both loved
what you and i spoke of
and others only read of
others only dream of the love that i love

see i'm all about them words
over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
more words than i had ever heard and i feel so alive

then you and i, you and i
not so little you and i anymore
and with this silence brings a moral story
more importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

'cause you and i both loved what you and i spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see me now
well i'm almost finally out of...well i am free

and it's okay if you had go away
just remember the telephone works both ways
but if i never ever hear it ring
if nothing else i'll think the bells inside
have finally found you someone else and that's okay
'cause i'll remember everything you sang

'cause you and i both loved what you and i spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see me now
well i'm almost finally out of...words

there was this girl sitting in front of me for this practice test, and her hair just made me angry. maybe angry isn't the correct term...but at least disturbed. she had short hair and you can tell she was the type of girl who spent a significant time getting ready each day because her face was caked with at least an inch of foundation and a fat swath of eyeliner, and you could tell she was going for this stylish hip look with her hair because it was sculpted higher above her scalp with extreme strength gel, but it wasn't done well. yes, i know that was a horrible run-on sentence, but the hair was just so disturbing--she didn't lift it properly and there was this big flat depression of hair amid the volume. like a slick meadow in between black oily hills. if you're going to need that much time to make yourself look decent, please do it completely. ewww.

sorry. i really wanted to blog about something else but i can't remember anymore. i saw p-ro, cathy, and des for the first time this summer so yay for that =) sexy as always, ladies. soon i'll come out of my hole more, i promise.

i sort of like this new band called hot hot heat. they're fun. and canadian. "no, not now" is another good song of theirs. yay!

look, ma, no introspective angsty shit for one entry! and we discover...i live a really boring life. ta-ta.

* * *
"Oh, Goddamnit" -Hot Hot Heat

regular exposure to insecticide has caused me to break out in hives
i'm losing weight, i cannot wait till saturday
cuz on saturday, my tax deductions make me function like a blue collar
white collar? i don't know, so i gotta holler
"oh! oh goddamnit! i think i've lost it!
oh god! goddamnit, i think i've lost you!"

antioxidants have got me causing accidents
because my wine is spiked with pomegranite
if you've got just one, then slam it
"oh! oh goddamnit! i think i've lost it!
oh god! goddamnit, i think i've lost you!"

shot down
it's just such a shame
i bet you feel no pain
mercy!
expect a rivalry
shot down
it's just such a shame
i'm losing at this game
no fair!
why don't you seem to care?

lack of consequence has got me making decisions
based upon truth or dare decision-making
no faking
i end up taking
karate
she's naughty, i call shotty!
my body will never live up to these expectations
i still make invitations

oh! oh goddamnit
i think i've lost it
oh god! goddamnit
i think i've lost it
oh god! goddamnit

shot down
it's just such a shame
i bet you feel no pain
mercy!
expect a rivalry
shot down
it's just such a shame
i'm losing at this game
no fair!
why don't you seem to care?

oh! oh goddamnit
i think i've lost it
and i think that i've lost you
shot down, shot down
it’s just such a shame
i’d rather you feel no
more pain
shot down, shot down
it’s just such a shame
i think that i am losing
this game...